Author Topic: A routine change for my super-busy boy  (Read 12934 times)

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Offline *Liz*

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #105 on: July 15, 2016, 10:58:24 am »
It is funny when they first start isn't it? Thomas is pretty reliable to STTN these days, but I do remember the first few weeks being really odd (although I was so tired I was pretty grateful as well  ;)).

I wouldn't worry about the A times that much. One longer and one CN is likely what he needs, regardless of what time it happens iyswim? Just like my DS2 needs one big sleep or 2 short sleeps. Thomas often still naps at 11am rather than a proper toddler nap, and just ends up with a long A to bed, but it doesn't seem to matter very much really.

Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #106 on: July 15, 2016, 11:55:45 am »
Right now I'd be happy with one NF. I certainly got less sleep than normal last night!
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Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #107 on: July 21, 2016, 15:31:15 pm »
Well, we've moved on a touch but he's still fighting sleep like a maniac whatever time I attempt a nap.

Progress, first:
Very little feeding to sleep at bt now, STTN 4 times (I'm counting!)
I have managed once to just stay on his floor and sing until he goes to sleep by himself. Other times it is a bit of a performance (picking up when he's upset, putting down when wriggly) to be able to get him to the point where he will lie down. Then I can just wiggle his hips until he goes to sleep.

It's taking aaaaages, though, and I'm going back a step if he's too upset.

Does this sound ok? Have you any ideas at all to help him stop fighting it? It's like anything at all - the ceiling, even - is more interesting than sleep!!
E
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Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #108 on: July 22, 2016, 12:54:35 pm »
I'm casting my mind back to ST with DS...

I remember him taking what felt like a long time to put himself to sleep in the cot. As long as he was calm in the cot, I stood back (or more accurately hid lying next to the cot or standing behind it!) and waited, only intervening (sh-hold) if he cried.  I have a clear memory of watching him chatter to himself, kick his legs up, try to suck in his feet, wave his arms and legs around, thinking he's never going to sleep...then suddenly he would roll over, suck his lovey and switch off!

Once I knew this was what he did I started standing further away, then by the door, then outside the door.  Probably kept this up a lot longer than I needed to, but he was my first and I couldn't really believe he was actually SS at long last!

Is it worth a try standing back once he's in the cot and calm and see what happens?
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Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #109 on: July 22, 2016, 15:48:59 pm »
I am trying to!

Here's roughly what happens:
Into room, white noise on, sing a couple of verses holding him and then into cot.
He will get up and down many times. As long as he's happy, I lie on the floor in sight.
If he's unhappy, I pick him up and sway a bit with him, putting him down when he starts struggling or moving around a lot.
He typically gets unhappy as he tires and struggles to get down without hurting himself. As he gets sleepier he will spend more time sitting/lying down, but also gets upset more.
Eventually I can put him down sleepy and he will snuggle in. Not sure I could leave him at that point, worth a try?
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
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Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #110 on: July 23, 2016, 09:33:53 am »
Sounds like you're doing everything you can & working really hard on the sleep training with him, responding when he needs you but also giving him opportunity to SS.

Yes- when you sense he's ready to go to sleep, I'd start trying to gradually move back/out. He's approaching SA age soon though so might need to be a gradual withdrawal still but worth trying to get him SS without you in the room, even just for last bit, before SA kicks in fully!
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Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #111 on: July 23, 2016, 17:04:27 pm »
Yeah, I think we have some SA going on as he settled way better for DH, who did both naps today.

Last night I started taking a step back from the cot when he was happy, and that seemed to work. Got halfway to the door! Also instead of picking him up I bent over and gave him a hug whilst he was standing up. Feeling my way through it!
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
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Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #112 on: July 23, 2016, 20:31:52 pm »
Ack, it's so frustrating! I handed over to DH tonight as it was just getting too much. I wish he'd just go to sleep!!!

That said he is crawling, cruising, clapping, eating well and starting to make meaningful sounds. He is using every minute to learn and is a joy...apart from that darn settling!
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #113 on: July 24, 2016, 12:48:47 pm »
Big hugs, sounds like he's doing a lot of developmental stuff and is too busy learning to sleep!

How did he settle for your DH? Could you share the ST on a regular basis?
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Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #114 on: July 25, 2016, 12:39:38 pm »
He's way better for DH and tbh it's time he took a turn. I've dealt with sleep practically singlehanded for 6, maybe 7 months. He can do some weekday bedtimes, and some weekend naps.

My big one needs me too, it will do us good to swap.
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #115 on: August 02, 2016, 20:28:19 pm »
Thought I'd do a quick update.

Generally we are still getting a short first and longer second nap, at times that won't be great for school. Hoping something changes by the time we go back.

Settling is loads better. Sit down with him on lap, sing until he cuddles in and goes to sleep. Lovely! And since he's done that, he's woken much much less at night and needed less resettling at nap time.

We are getting quite a few STTN, but quite a few EWs also. Never easy, is it? What do you do again for EW? Push morning A out slightly?
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline grace annes mommy

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #116 on: August 02, 2016, 22:28:21 pm »
We got EWs when J starting sleeping thru more often, too.  I attributed it to hunger and used to feed her in the dark.  She'd either nod off again or not.  But, eventually I needed to stop that so as to not reinforce the WU time... It's a fine line.  But I do think it's a common thing to get EWs when they stop waking for a feed.  Her nights are getting longer now at 10 months.  If it becomes an issue, yes, I believe you want to push the first A.

That's great you've made so much progress with SS!  We are still 2 steps forward 1 step back with that.

Glad you've got a good routine going.  You will figure it out again when your DS heads back to school.  DD1 just went back and we're figuring all that out now!


Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #117 on: August 05, 2016, 19:20:22 pm »
Yeah, things are changing already. He did one 30min nap on a 13hr day on Wed, two short naps and normal bedtime yesterday..... And today he's done more normal naps and then fought bt. After getting up at 5.30. Honestly!!

One nap days can't be that far off.

So your self settling goes back and forth? That's interesting to know. Once DS1 had got it, he didn't really need a lot more help. This little guy is very different.
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline grace annes mommy

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #118 on: August 07, 2016, 01:40:34 am »
So your self settling goes back and forth? That's interesting to know. Once DS1 had got it, he didn't really need a lot more help. This little guy is very different.

DD1 was sooo touchy that most ST was just too much for her.  She had the finest line between OT and UT also.  So, maybe she just conditioned me to be the worst BW ever, lol.  But, yes.  I'll admit I do a lot of APing for J...  Mostly bc it's easier.  She's actually able to settle, I just don't often give her the opportunity except in the middle of the night where I tend to back off unless she's really fussing.  Please, don't follow my example! haha  But what I've found most helpful for both girls is a good solid routine so that's what I tend to focus on.  I think IS is important, but depending on the baby or if you have really deep rooted props, it's not the end all be all, yk?

Sorry, I'm sure that was not helpful.  Just an honest response.


Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: A routine change for my super-busy boy
« Reply #119 on: August 07, 2016, 09:40:11 am »
No, that was really helpful, thank you. It's a fine line between 'good enough' and torturing yourself trying to get the holy grail, yk?
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015