Help for ftm with 8 week old

[Mulberrybag]

Hi everyone
I'm after some guidance. I've got a little boy who's 8 weeks on weds. I've been trying EASY for the last week. He really struggles in the morning with napping but is wide awake for 3 hours in the pm. I don't know how to get the pattern sorted.

Yesterday:-

E: 6am
A: nappy change
S: 6.30-9

E: 9am
A: play mat
S: 10-11

E: 12 noon
A: usually nappy change play mat but yesterday we were out walking
S: 12.30-3

E: 3pm
A: rattle and toys
Did not sleep and no cues for tiredness until after bath

Cluster feed st 4, 6 and 8
Bath at 7.15

I find no day has been the same and he's most unsettled in the mornings, I don't know how to structure his naps

Thank you, I'm so lost

[Lindsay27]

Hi hun and welcome to BW! 8 weeks is a great time to start to establish EASY but don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't all settle into place right away, it does take time, I found my DD started to get on a good EASY at around 3.5 months.

What time is bedtime usually?  At 8 weeks you are looking to have your A time somewhere between 1hr-1.15, and by the looks of her 1hr nap from 10-11am she might need a touch more A time to get that nap to 1.5hrs.  I am wondering about her WU at 6, if you don't want her to start the day at that time I would treat it like a NW, resettle or feed and right back to sleep.  I think that short 30min A time from 6-6:30 is kind of throwing the day off a bit.  We also try to aim for a 12hr day so if WU was 6am then BT would be roughly 6/6:30pm. 

The unsettled afternoon was probably a case of OT where the sleep window was probably just missed as she was showing no signs and then once she was OT she fought sleep.  I would just try to keep your A times consistent and if she takes a short nap then reduce your next A time slightly, by 10mins or so.

Hope this helps!

[Mulberrybag]

This is fab, thank you! I've been focusing on trying to start the day at 7.

His bed time is after bath and feed at 8. Tonight he went down at 8.10 and took half an hour to send himself to sleep. He's capable of sending himself to sleep, he chats a bit and yawns and nods off.

So - I'll resettle after say a 5.30/6 feed. I think he will sleep until 8 but definitely not past 9. Before EASY he would become annoyed if I wasn't getting him up. That would fit with a 8pm bed time.

In the afternoon should I try to force a nap after 1.5 hours A time and try and settle him? He just shows no signs of tiredness and looks so happy! He has been unsettled in the mornings which I think is the 6am A time.

How long should the naps be? He tends to have a short morning nap, long lunch time nap and short evening nap.

[ireneasheard]

Following. I thought naps we were meant to work in 3 hour cycles? I.e. waking babe after approximately 1.5 hour sleeps and keeping to around 3 hours unless moving onto 3.5 / 4 hour EASY once awake time is more than 1-1.5 hours?

[Lindsay27]

I mean it is all a matter of personal preference, I don't personally wake babe up once a nap has reached 1.5hrs I just let them sleep.  If they are napping a silly long time like 2.5/3hrs then yes I would absolutely wake them.

I would try to resettle after that 5:30/6am feed...you don't want him thinking that's an appropriate time to wake up for the day...because it isn't lol (despite what my DD thinks )

For the afternoon yes, I would try a nap after maybe 1.15hr A time.  Sometimes they look perfectly happy and awake but as soon as you start the wind down routine it becomes pretty obvious how tired they are.  My DD will look happy as a clam but as soon as I take her into her room and start putting on her sleep sac you can see her eyes and she's practically nodding off.

Naps should be generally 1.5hrs, I would usually recommend that if they wake after 30 or 45mins to try to resettle the nap.  Some babies just fall into their own routine though so if you find that short-long-short works well you can try that, I think though the main thing you are risking is OT so you will find that start to appear near the end as as only 1 nap has been truly "restorative".

[Mulberrybag]

Such good advice, thank you!
Where do you recommend naps take place? Where he sleeps at night (in our room) or downstairs? We have a monitor.

[Lindsay27]

After about 6 weeks I had my DD napping in her crib, for me it was the easiest place to put her monitor and a way of getting her used to her crib and bedroom for when the time came to transition her there at night (she still slept in the bassinet with us in our room at night).

Really though, here is no right or wrong place, many find that where they sleep at night is also good as that is where they are used to.

[ireneasheard]

My baby is in his cot and has been since he came home and in his own room. I have a monitor on. He is a light sleeper and the less distractions for him the better he sleeps. It's personal preference though. I've been able to do a consistent wind down in there and that's been a bonus as he knows bedroom and chair and wrapping up is for sleep.

[Mulberrybag]

He's always slept downstairs and I thought it would be a good thing for him to be able to nap anywhere but he gets distracted by staring towards the light so thought about using the same place as he sleeps at night but is it important he knows the difference between day napping and night?

[Lindsay27]

As he gets older he is only going to become more and more distracted.  It is a nice thought to be able to have a baby that naps anywhere, but to me it is important that you set them up to succeed, offering a quiet darkened place where they can have a restorative nap.  Much of getting them to fall asleep and nap is about setting the scene...I mean in all honesty I couldn't take a nap in the broad daylight of my downstairs so I don't expect my LOs to be able to do that, ya know? I don't think that there needs to necessarily be a separate space for day sleep vs night sleep, it just more just about consistency, either all naps are taken in the cot/crib or in bassinet, I would pick one and try to stick with it.  There are always going to be car naps, stroller naps etc when out and about, but at home I think it's important for LO to have a space that they know means it's sleep time.

Also just wanted to quickly mention that while each country's recommendations are different, as a SIDS precaution it is generally recommend to have LO room share with parent(s) at night until 6 months. It is up to each of us to make our own decisions and assessments on that, but just wanted to point out the general guidelines

[Mulberrybag]

He sleeps in our room and will have him in with us until 6 months. Think I'll put him for naps in the same room, like you say setting him up to succeed. He's asleep next to me at the moment ( he had his 8 week injections yesterday so think he's recovering). I was just worried if I kept putting him in a dark room he wouldn't be good if we went away etc but there's always a car room and he can fall asleep in the car etc with no difficulties

[ireneasheard]

I agree re distractions. The more distractions as they get older is disturbing sleep. Day and night differentiation in my experience comes from doing a solid routine throughout the day such as EASY and demand feeding overnight in quiet conditions. During the day exposing baby to light and noise esp light during playtime should be enough to help babe start to understand the difference. I've found consistency to really help my babies sleep.