Please help with starting EASY with 3.5-month old

[jbeachwalker]

Hi, my LO is 3.5 months old. He's my third son. I read The Baby Whisperer when my third was a newborn and was determined to develop an EASY schedule, but I haven't.   I am nursing him before sleep, though I do usually put him in his crib while still awake.
Our schedule is all over the place because he wakes up at different times every morning. I can't recall when the schedule starts straightening out. ??
He nurses about every 3 hours, though he's gone longer between feedings. My babies have all been EBF and are extremely efficient nursers - only nursing 3 to 5 minutes at a time. I tend to worry they aren't eating enough so I offer the breast more often than I should. I'm not sure how often he should be nursing at this point.
Can someone please help me turn this ship around and give me some tips to get him on an EASY schedule?
His awake time is about 90 mins and he sleeps anywhere from 1 to 2.5 hours, though occasionally naps only 40 mins.
He goes to bed around 7-7:30pm and wakes at 10/10:30pm, almost like clockwork. Then he's up again around midnight or 1am, which is when I bring him to bed and nurse him probably 1-2x more every night. I want to change this all up and keep him in his crib all night. I just don't know when I should be nursing him vs just comforting him back to sleep.

[jbeachwalker]

P.S. The unpredictability of our days is getting to me...I never know what time he'll wake up in the morning or how long he will sleep during his naps. He will sometimes wake during his naps and I let him settle himself back to sleep (he doesn't really cry, just makes noises and wiggles around), but sometimes he does and sometimes it escalates to crying. The only predictable things are the 90 min awake time and the 7/7:30 bed time.

[Lindsay27]

Hugs hun!! The first few months are hard, especially with other LOs, while we all have great intentions with stating EASY from the get-go, usually with more than one LO we just go with the flow until a routine begins to emerg, and this is the perfect time to start

I think right now just keeping the EAS pattern (or sometimes EASAES if short naps is a problem) is the best place to start.  If he is managing some longer naps that is fantastic! And if you can resettle naps that is also fantastic! WU times will vary so just try to adjust your day accordingly - can you give me a rough idea of what your day looks like now?

With regards to eating, I would say generally if he can go 3hrs between feeds during the day then I would expect the same for night...so that might give you an idea of when to settle and when to feed.  That said, I both my LOs were formula fed so I am not super knowledgeable about BF.

[jbeachwalker]

Thanks so much for your response! He does eat about every 3 hours during the day and night...I wasn't sure when I could stretch it out a bit...I know my friend is doing 4 hour stretches with her babe, but he's formula fed as well so that does make a difference.

Right now our days are looking somewhat like this, but it's really all over the place w/times and even lengths of naps. But generally it is 2 longer naps, 1 45-ish min nap and either a short cat nap at the end of the day or he pushes through, just gets sleepy while nursing around 6pm, but doesn't take a nap.

7:30am wake, nurse few mins
9-11 nap (nurse before putting him in the crib)
awake time
12:30-1:30 nap (nurse before putting him in the crib)
3-3:45 nap (nurse before putting him in the crib)
5:30-6 nap (nurse before putting him in the crib)
7:30 bed (nurse before putting him in the crib)
10:30pm nurses, I put him back in crib
12am nurses, I bring him into our bed

Last night I tried to nurse him and put him back in his crib. He was up 10:30pm, 1:30am, 3:30am, 5:30am (I gave up and brought him into bed at this point. I don't want to be inconsistent, but all the waking + my older son had woken twice so I was exhausted)

I appreciate your advice and suggestions!!

[Lindsay27]

Formula fed babies so tend to generally go longer at night because it is heavier.  I would say if he wakes at night less than 3hrs from his last feed then just try to resettle, does he take a paci at all?

I have 2 thoughts, one is that you may need a bit longer A time than 1.5hrs.  I would try maybe 1.45hr and see if that gets you 2 good naps and if so then you are well on your way to 4hr EASY . The other thing is, if you are nursing him before each nap I am wondering if it is becoming a bit of a prop and that could be the reason he is waking frequently at night, because he can't self settle without nursing yk?  Does he go to sleep independently or self settle at all?

[jbeachwalker]

2 naps for a 3.5-month old doesn't seem like enough? He should have 3 naps, right? And sometimes a 4th catnap to get him through to bedtime.
He definitely self settles so that's good - I should try to keep 3 hours between feedings, I think.
He doesn't take a paci or a bottle right now.. :/

[Lindsay27]

At 3 month they are usually on 3 x 1.5hr naps and at around 4 months they start making the transition to 2 x longer naps and a CN, so still 3 naps but 2 long and 1 short.