Need Help with Extending Naps/4 Hour Routine - 4 MO

[DMTMom16]

Hi, I’m trying to extend naps with PU/PD and shh/pat but I’m having some issues and could use some assistance with the routine for my 17 wo baby boy.  I’m feeling off track and am not sure if I’m intervening too much or just doing things at the wrong times.

I’ve been dealing with short/nonexistent naps for many weeks and, to say the least, I am beyond frustrated and burned out trying to make sure he gets enough sleep each day.   I started shh/pat with LO earlier this month and lately he falls asleep on his own at bedtime without needing shh/pat.  Naps are a different story.  In the crib, it often takes longer to get him to sleep than he actually naps and he consistently wakes between 30-38 minutes usually crying and still tired.  I’ve tried many different things, including shh/pat, and never had any luck getting him to take a longer nap or even getting him back to sleep unless I moved him to the swing.  He also won’t sleep much, if at all anymore, in the car seat or stroller.   I’ve been trying to get him on a routine for a while but the short naps combined with a 3 hour feeding routine always caused issues with that. 

As he was approaching 4 mo (today), I decided to finally try PU/PD to resettle for naps and move to the 4 hour feeding routine.   For the past week or so, I’ve been trying to do 2 hour A times, starting the nap wind down at 1hr 45m A or earlier if he shows sleepy signs.   He tends to finally settle and fall asleep a bit after the 2 hour mark.  We’re on Day 9 of initially using PU/PD and it was working along with shh/pat to get him back to sleep during naptime.   His naps gradually got longer and we had success resettling him until several days ago.   The nap lengths started decreasing and are now back to the 30-38 min range (we had gotten up to over an hour) and despite trying to shh/pat until the next E time, I haven’t been able to help him back to sleep.  When I'm shh/patting, he will be calm and fall asleep for a few minutes then awakens and gets upset again, this happens over and over again and I don’t stop shh/patting during this time.  Not sure if I’m possibly shh/patting too much or if I have the A times wrong.  I think we also may have run into a growth spurt two days ago as he was up several times the last two nights, which is unusual, and during the day was hungry well before the 4 hour or even 3 hour mark.  E times seem to be getting back on track today, hopefully tonight will be better too.

Does this regression for the naps sound normal or did I maybe start this during a bad time due to other developmental/growth changes that are going on?  Could his A time possibly need to be lengthened already?

[Scottishmummy]

Hi and welcome to BW 

Firstly, good job on getting your DS to self settle at night, that's a big achievement and will help with the 4 month sleep madness. There is abig developmental leap at this time which can impact on naps and night sleep. Naps often take longer than night sleep to get independant sleep. I'm sorry you feel so frustrated and burned out. Short naps are very hard work & exhausting as you don't get much break.

Does your DS show clear tired signs? I'm wondering whether he's ready for 2hr A times/4 hr EASY- he sounds like he might be getting OT hence the long time to settle and difficulty resettling. Could you post your typical day in EASY format please?

How is he getting to sleep for naps? Self settle? Sh-pat or PU/PD

I was also wondering whether you'd tried wake to sleep to extend naps (going in and sh-pat before he wakes rather than once awake)? That sometimes has more success to extend naps than intervening on waking & is less stimulating than PU/PD which is sometimes too much for younger babies.

How long are you trying to resettle? You mention until next E, but on a 4hr EASY with 30 min naps, that could be for 1.5 hrs? No wonder you feel burnt out. I would try to resettle for a shorter time but if he's not resettled just accept the short nap, get up and do something nice with him & try again next nap, so you don't feel you're constantly working on sleep.

*Hugs*

[DMTMom16]

Thanks for your response!  Yes, it does seem like some things have changed since we started the 4 hour routine so maybe some of those leaps/milestones are impacting DS’s sleep.  As far as tired signs, he might yawn or rub his eyes.  If so, I’ll start the nap wind down then, otherwise, I had been going by the clock.  Lately though, when going by the clock, I’ve caught a yawn/eye rub when he’s in the crib AFTER I’ve already done the wind down.   Prior to starting the 4 hour routine about a week and a half ago, I had been doing the wind down somewhere between 75 and 90 minutes and naps were still a struggle and just as short.
   
He sometimes self-settles for naps or, if not, I had been doing shh-pat.  However, since things went haywire a few days ago, he has been very squirmy and hard to do shh-pat with so if he's not crying more than the mantra cry I’ve been letting him try to self-settle instead of intervening because I don’t seem to be helping.  If he doesn’t settle after 10-20 min, I’ve just tried for a nap later or moved him to the swing, where it’s likely that he will take a long nap.  I tried wake to sleep once or twice in the past but could try it again and see if that works. 

This is from a day last week when we were having better luck with naps in the crib, he woke early that day so I just started the routine when he woke:
Wake: 5:45am
E: 6:00-6:30
S: 7:55-9:00 His nap had stretched out to over an hour straight, which was a great improvement, but I couldn’t resettle him after that.
E: 10:00-10:25
S: 10:50-11:37 Resettled and slept from 11:40-12:15
E: 2:00-2:45
S: 3:49-4:23 tried earlier for a nap but wasn’t having luck
E: 5:45-6:10 Did last feed and bedtime early since he seemed tired
Bedtime: 6:15

And this is today’s (he again woke early but went back to sleep so the routine is adjusted a bit):
E 6:00-6:25
S 6:25-7:15
E 8:20-8:45
S 9:35-11:10 I did the wind down at 1 hr 45 A but he wasn’t settling in the crib.  I let him try to settle for a bit then moved him to the swing.
E 11:15-11:45
S 1:30-2:09 Followed tired signs instead and he fell asleep pretty quickly on his own but had a short nap
E 2:15-2:45
S 4:20-4:47 Had short nap in Ergo carrier, I tried for a nap earlier and wasn’t having luck.
E: 6:00-6:30
Bedtime – 6:45
Out of the ordinary wake up at 8:30pm, DH tried to settle him but couldn’t, I ended up feeding him around 9:00 and got him back to sleep at 9:40pm with shh-pat.

[Scottishmummy]

Thanks for that.  It looks like he might need higher than average A times for his age & I wonder if he might need increasing A times as the day goes on.. The end of the day looks similar to my DD who always had her longest A time between 2nd &3rd nap and it was always at least 30 mins longer than rest of day (she still needs longer A times as day goes on)

So, I would try starting your WD for first nap just before or at 2 hrs A time to be asleep around 2hr15 and see what happens.
I'm not sure what will work for your 2nd A time- maybe try WD around 2hr15 if you've had a good first nap, 2hr if a short first nap.
I'd try 2.5 for 3rd A time (or maybe a little longer if you've had 2 long naps)  then a short CN & it looks like you get a good BT 2hrs after CN.

What do you think?

[DMTMom16]

Thanks for the suggestions, we'll give that a try!  We've been a little off routine b/c DS got his 4 month immunizations yesterday and has been more tired than usual.  Hopefully we'll be back on track tomorrow and can try the longer A times throughout the day. Will let you know how it goes!