Author Topic: Hi all, Need some advice  (Read 1291 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Lpat1711

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 19
  • Location:
Hi all, Need some advice
« on: May 31, 2016, 13:53:52 pm »
Hi Everyone,

I really hope I'm posting in the right place, I stumbled across this forum when desperately looking for a way to get my baby back on track and boy I'm glad I did, I've been lurking for a few days and the wealth of information is amazing!

Basically I have a very active 8 month old girl who I adore and is generally speaking a happy little thing. We had a great routine, slept all night etc up until the last few months when mainly illness and teething threw it all out of the window and now I'm struggling to get back on track, although I love being a mummy I'm very very tired :(

I have a few questions and would really appreciate any help. Is it really possible to get a baby on Easy this late on? I'm aware I may need to stay at home for a while which is fine.

She is not a good napper at all, sometimes naps for 20 mins, sometimes 2 hours, and currently naps in her bouncer through the daytime, I have tried everything I can think of to get her to sleep in cot in daytime but she is not having it lol any tips on how to rectify this?

She also wakes several times a night, although is teething at the moment so obviously this won't help but sometimes I don't get her down at all until 10 at night, when ideally I would like her in bed by 7.30 so I can have a bit of me time back, there is a lot of tooing and throwing at bed time, most of the time I have to stroke her face to get her to sleep and that's after 45 mins of whining and rolling around in cot then she's normally up at 4am :o Something Definately needs to change as mummy needs her sleep and sanity back. As I said any advice would be great or even a point in the right direction. I will try to take note of her day tomorrow so I can post it and you can have a look. If it makes any difference she takes 3 feeds per day of 8oz each, porridge made with formula and 3 meals x

Offline Bella89

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 15
  • Posts: 669
  • Location: Poland
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2016, 14:32:47 pm »
Hi there and welcome to BW forums:)
Yes, it is possible to get her on EASY whenever, because it is a structure, not a schedule. When you think of it, you're on easy yourself. You get up, know you will have breakfast and coffee after etc. That's what it's for. Knowing what's gonna happen:)
You're meals look good, but please note what and how much she ate if you can. We will try to figure it out hmm?:)

It sounds to me, like she just doesn't know how self settle, and that's why she needs the swing etc. Does she sleep in the cot at night?
Teaching her sleep and getting back on track will be difficult, but it will improve the quality of your life, both of your lives:)

Please, right down your wind down routine for me, when you try to put her down for nap in the crib ok? I wonder what's bothering her...

Looking forward to hear from you!

Offline Lpat1711

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 19
  • Location:
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2016, 19:45:17 pm »
Thanks for the quick reply!

So in the morning she gets an 8oz feed when she gets up, then an hour later has some baby porridge made with roughly 1-2oz of formula.

Lunch time is normally around 12-1pm depending on when she got up and when she's napped, usually something like a boiled egg then some fruit she can eat herself followed by another 8oz feed an hour or so later.

Then dinner time is usually at 5ish half a jar followed by pudding ie a small yoghurt then followed by a bottle before bed, which last few nights I've managed to get her down at 7. Although she will wake several times after and then also through the night. I'm also giving her medicine and teething powder as she's cutting her first top tooth.

She used to be able to self settle, I'd pop her in cot and leave her to it and she would do her thing then go to sleep, but at the moment she rolls onto her tummy then cries, but also cries if I go in and turn her back over :(

I think over tiredness is a big part of the problem as her naps are all over the place, for example her afternoon nap only lasted 30 minutes today and finished at 3pm, this was then her awake til bedtime at 7. I've tried to extend her naps but for the most part I'm having no success. Like I say she does sleep in the cot in her own room at night but I'm going in several times through the night to resettle her and I do try to resist picking her up unless she has an actual need like a nappy change.

Offline Lpat1711

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 19
  • Location:
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2016, 19:47:23 pm »
Oh I forgot to add, I don't think we really have a wind down now that I think about it, normally when I see her getting tired we have a quick cuddle then pop her in the cot, could this be part of the problem?

Offline Bella89

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 15
  • Posts: 669
  • Location: Poland
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2016, 18:22:27 pm »
It could be. She needs to know that it's time for nap. LOs know that by routine giving them signal "Ok, we need to do this and this and this. Mommy is doing it so I guess I will nap now" :)
Try introducing it by creating your own routine. During that time explain over and over again that you need to prepare for nap now, because you have to take a nap and be well rested for what's to come next!

Our routine is still, at 16mo, like this:
1.Explain we're going to take a nap.
2. Go into the bedroom, say bye to whatever, pull down the shades,
3. Change diaper, sing, cuddle
4. I'm leaving the room

Eating seems fine, but if it was me I would change milk with solids. Gave solids after milk. It leaves milk as a main nutrition, because they tend to eat more of it.

Waiting for your EASY to see:) Hang in there!

Offline Lpat1711

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 19
  • Location:
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2016, 19:36:02 pm »
7.00am - Wake (Normally starts her day around 5.30am as this is when daddy leaves for work, pretty much been that way since day 1)
7.15am - 8oz Bottle
8.30am - Porridge & rice cakes
9.15am - Sleep
10.15am - Wake
12.45pm - 8oz Bottle
1.30pm - Half pouch of fruit & baby rice plus sweet corn snack
1.50pm - Sleep
3.35pm - Wake
5.15pm - half jar plus pudding
6.45pm -put to bed
7.20pm - sleeping

This was an unusual day for us as she never normally naps this long but I have been working on extending although they were in bouncer or on bed with me. I also swapped solids and milk today as I thought she might settle better. Bedtime was a nightmare though but I think it was down to OT as the gap between last nap and bed was too long, only thing that calmed her was humming and rocking at which she fell asleep, might make this part of wind down but without letting her fall asleep. Thank you again for having a look :)

Edit: She's also woke twice since falling asleep but quickly settled after a pat on the back.
« Last Edit: June 01, 2016, 20:13:30 pm by Lpat1711 »

Offline Lpat1711

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 19
  • Location:
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2016, 18:06:38 pm »
Just a quick update, so she was up several times last night until 2.30am then got up at her normal half 5. Today has been a total nightmare, thought I would log out day to let you see a more typical day for us, as I say yesterday was unusual.


5.20am - Wake
5.40am - 8oz Bottle
7.45am - Baby Porridge
8.25am - Sleep
8.50am - Wake
11.45am - Sleep
12.10pm - Wake
12.30pm - 8oz Bottle
1.20pm - Half fruit & baby rice pouch then cucumber as snack
2.25pm - Sleep
3.00pm - Wake
5.00pm - Half Jar & pudding
6.00pm - sleep
6.45pm - Wake

I have been trying to avoid a nighttime nap so late but really couldn't avoid it as she was so OT and cranky, it actually took an hour to settle her with her crying constantly :( so with the late nap who knows what time I'll get her too bed, she's been cranky all day and it's been a very long day lol

Offline Bella89

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 15
  • Posts: 669
  • Location: Poland
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2016, 10:37:36 am »
Hello,
I'm so sorry I didn't respond sooner. My birthday celebration lasted longer than anyone could have predicted:)

I think you really did good June 02. She was OT from the wakings at night, so I really think you had no choice than to just help her rest. It's not always about the routine. In times like these we just try to give them guideline, but want a relief for them.Also, this happens in the time of transition. When the routine needs a change, they often are OT then ok, and OT again. Ultimately, we want it to last shorter.

I think you day looks ok EASY-wise. When you think about it, she is on EASY. She sleeps, eats, plays ans sleeps again. That's an EASY routine :) The good news is, now we have to just tweak it.

The one think I noticed, is that if you start your day as soon as 5:30, and it would be difficult to change it because daddy is leaving and she just wakes, you need to make sure her day is not too long. Right now, with short naps and BT later than 6, she is up a veeeery long time. She is OT and wakes at night. That's what I suspect ;]

Do you think it would be possible for her to WU at 7ish?
If not, did she wake 6:45 by herself? D you think earlier BT would work for you? At least 6pm?

Offline Lpat1711

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 19
  • Location:
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2016, 21:21:49 pm »
Belated happy birthday!

First off, DH no longer has to leave at 5.30am so she has been sleeping til approx 6.30 however I think starting the day at 5.30 has also been partly my fault as we had a morning where she woke at 5.30 but after feed and nappy change she was showing crankiness & sleep signs so I put her down and she slept for 2 hours, although this was with my help extending.

I've done the know your baby quiz and turns out she's a spirited baby, very spirited I think lol and I think I'm getting my timing wrong with her a lot of the time. Also managed to get her napping in cot today although I did let her fall asleep on me in rocking chair but used white noise also, so hopefully will be able to get her down on her own eventually.

She seems to get overstimulated very easily and although not crawling is very very active, I wondered if her A times should be shorter than the typical 3-3.5 hours to factor this in, ie will she get more tired easily?

I don't think an earlier bedtime would work for us but ideally I would like to get her on a 7-7 day.

Offline Bella89

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 15
  • Posts: 669
  • Location: Poland
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2016, 19:09:12 pm »
Gotcha.

Congrats on later WU:) Now, we need to figure out what to do to push it even more! :p

She seems to get overstimulated very easily and although not crawling is very very active, I wondered if her A times should be shorter than the typical 3-3.5 hours to factor this in, ie will she get more tired easily?

That totally makes sense to me. I don't have much experience with active babies, but that might be the case.
Write down how today went, and let's start from here by observing her A times:)

That's a good job sleeping in the cot. You want to give her less and less help falling asleep. But it doesn't mean you have to start with zero help.
Maybe you could try putting her down into the cot drowsy next time?

Offline Lpat1711

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 19
  • Location:
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #10 on: June 06, 2016, 21:31:10 pm »
We've had a good & bad day today lol naps were not great although I have managed to get her to fall asleep in cot on her own twice, first time I used WI/WO which took over an hour so have decided to stick with GW method to avoid further OT, which worked great at BT :) I sat by the cot and used reassuring words, only gave her my hand when she reached out & after only 15 minutes she let go, I moved back slightly and she went to sleep all on her own :) I did take her through 15 minutes early though to allow for OT, due to a much needed nap at 5, WU at 5.40 she didn't go to sleep for bedtime til 8.45 but almost 2 hours later, we haven't had a single wake up. I also kept activity low key for the hour before bed.

I actually think I've been accidentally making BT difficult for her by trying too hard to help her get to sleep when really I've been over stimulating her, same with some of the anaw as the last night she woke twice and i just popped the dummy in and she actually rolled away from me and went straight back to sleep!

I'm actually so happy! I haven't been able to log today but I have noticed at last nap and BT she has fallen asleep bang on the 3 hour mark, so would this be the optimal A time?

I have ordered two of Tracy's books aswell, can't wait for them to come. Will log tomorrow and let you know how it goes.

Offline Lpat1711

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 19
  • Location:
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2016, 06:55:00 am »
Hi, just a quick update!

Forgot to mention we installed a blackout blind yesterday as I read about spirited babies needing total darkness, well I have just woke up and it's almost 8 and my girl is still sleeping and has slept the whole night!! I'm ecstatic :D I'm going to wake her at 8 and hopefully we will have an 8-8ish day, I don't want to count my chickens and hope this isn't a coincidence but it certainly feels like progress. Will keep a log of our day and post back later.

Offline Bella89

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 15
  • Posts: 669
  • Location: Poland
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2016, 11:37:43 am »
Ha ha ha I am so so happy for you:) Maybe you both will have some rest now :p

You know, my mother in law was actually on me few weeks ago, telling me that a baby needs to be rocked to sleep, but I know when I take DS out of the crib, he would just play with my nose and NOT fall asleep. He just sleeps better when has no one to play with (read: in his room, by himself :p). Some kids are just like that. We moved him out of our bedroom, to his room with shades AND curtains, and he sleeps till 8 now. Now NW. It turns out daddy's snoring and the light in the morning was just too much :p


Offline Lpat1711

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 19
  • Location:
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #13 on: June 08, 2016, 06:07:06 am »
Hi sorry for the delay in posting, had no time last night as flopped into bed exhausted :(

So the day started off well and went as follows:

8.00am - Wake
8.10am - 8oz Feed
9.15am - Breakfast
11.15am - Sleep
12.45pm - Wake
1.00pm - 8oz Feed
1.30pm - Lunch
4.00pm - Sleep
4.30pm - Wake (Thanks to a loud and clumsy DH, then couldn't resettle)
5.00pm - Dinner & pudding
7.10pm - 8oz feed
7.30pm - Sleep

Only took 10 minutes to get to sleep which was an achievement in itself. Then about 8ish all hell broke loose :( started off with crying every 10 mins managed to resettle the first few times then it progressively got worse! She was crying, sweating, back arching, even when I was holding her etc turned out I didn't get her settled until 10.35 and I resorted to giving her an extra half feed to settle her and let her fall asleep in my arms. I think it was a combination of teething and OT, as she is really suffering with the second one of the top two teeth, it looks like it will pop at any moment, although I did give medicine 30 mins before bed. We are making progress, albeit slow. I feel like we are taking 2 steps forward and 10 back. I think we will continue to struggle until this tooth is through so will need to take it slow and obviously just give her the comfort she needs. I know it was partly her teeth as once she calmed down she wanted to cuddle, which she never ever does unless she's unwell, teething etc.

Offline Bella89

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 15
  • Posts: 669
  • Location: Poland
Re: Hi all, Need some advice
« Reply #14 on: June 09, 2016, 12:19:28 pm »
Hi there,
sorry to hear she is in such a discomfort. You too, obviously :/

When I read through you day I couldn't find anything wrong with it really. Her day was 11.5h, so she doesn't need that much sleep during the day. But when I think about it, when my DS is teething she is terribly sleepy:/ Ideally, she could probably use another 30min daytime sleep.

My gut is telling me it's teething that is bothering her the most:/ Top ones are the worst. Remember, that the pain gets worse during the night, as the gums are resting (no eating) and hurting more somehow. I dunno.Something I notices with my son:/ Maybe you could use some numbing gel as well? They work for a brief moment but give a nice cooling effect :)

Hope to hear from you soon! Good luck!