Party in the cot at 4am! NW or EW?

[mummyW]

Hi all, I posted in general advice last week and have now also read Tracy's book "baby whisperer solves all your problems" but I'm still needing advice as I'm sure I'm still going wrong.

LO is 5 months old and we've been having problems with short naps, frequent nw and early wake ups all unfortunetly through to accidental parenting. LO had/has quite severe silent reflux which now seems to be well controlled with medication. But this meant that she was held from day one and rocked to sleep and now I'm stuck trying to fix the problems we created.

The last 2 nights she's wakened at 1.30 one night then 3.30 the next and self settled within a short time.

At 5 months should I still be using ssh/pat at EW, NW if needed and to extend naps? Do I use PU/PD as well now?

How do I reduce the amount of time I need to ssh/pat?

For example this morning she woke at 4am, talked to herself a bit then became upset so I tried ssh/pat from about 4.30. It took 20 minutes until she was calm and settled with eyes shut, I continued for 5 minutes then stopped. She woke up! I started ssh/pat again and she resettled, I stopped, she woke up again. This went on for almost an hour and by then I was exhausted so just lifted her beside me where she immediately settled and slept until 7am.

I have accidentally got rid of the dummy in the last two days as she's been badly teething a and wouldn't let it near her mouth, even before then she wouldn't hold it in herself. Not sure if this is a good thing or not as it did settle her but I couldn't rely on it to help her sleep independently as she needed me to hold it in.

Sigh it's all just becoming a bit much so any advice would be good. Thanks.
Leigh

[becj86]

Hi

From what you've written, it sounds like you've made great progress. Can you write out your EASY? Sounds like she may need more A time

Are you feeding her at all at night? Still reasonable for her to be feeding 1-2 times in a night.

PUPD is not a good idea with a refluxy baby, it just swishes the acid up and down and causes loads of pain. Stick with shush/pat or modify it to holding a hand on her and saying a sleepy phrase/singing if you find that works better.

I know the dummy is something a lot of reflux babies do well with - if its well controlled, maybe its ok not to have it. I think just keep an open mind but don't force it on her.

[mummyW]

Hi Bec thanks for your reply.
EASY is much like this
WU 3.30am, self settled
WU 5am, left for 30 minutes didn't settle, used ssh/pat for 20 minutes.
WU 6.15am
E 7am
A 7.30-8.40
S 8.40-9.15 then ssh/pat 10 minutes and
S 9.25-10.15
E 10.45
A 11.15-12.40
S 12.55-13.35. Did wind down 10 minutes book and song before tired cue, self settled in 5 minutes no ssh/pat. When woke ssh/pat 10 minutes then
S 13.45-14.10
E 14.45
A 15.15-16.40
S 16.40-17.15 Wind down then ssh/pat took 10 minutes
A 17.15-18.45
E 18.45, ready for bed, wind down as above.
S 19.30 ssh/pat 10 minutes.

Hope that helps. She's feeding 4 hourly throughout the day and has fallen into that herself. I'm not feeding her at night now but I do still do a dream feed at 22.30/23.00

She was never a fan of the dummy, I think she associated it with feeding when she was very young and never took to it well, she was always fighting and screaming past it. When she would eventually take it she could never hold it in her mouth herself and I found myself having to try and ssh/pat as well as hold it in. She was also very fond of pushing it about with her tongue.

Her reflux seems to be well under control for now but i know that could change. I'll avoid lu/PD for the time being though.

Is there any way to get her out of this early WU?

[becj86]

I think it might help if you feed - its not unreasonable for her to have 2 feeds overnight.

It looks like you could maybe increase those A times a smidgeon (not a lot, they're pretty close given she'll resettle with help) and it might help. I was thinking you might have a first A time that was way too short - the most common reason for the early morning cot party but it doesn't appear that's an issue for you.

[mummyW]

Hi thanks,

Thanks for your reply. If I'm honest I'm very reluctant to feed her when she wakes, will she not start to then expect this and "need" it? Almost treat it like a comfort?

Would rubbish naps and difficulty settling cause early WU as well? I'm so tired and with a 27 month old as well I'm struggling. Xx

[Haribo2012]

Hi there I have 4.5 month old and am with Bec on the feeding, I know you think it might become a habit but you'll prob get a longer settled period of sleep after a feed. Mine was having DF 10.30 and no feed until 4.30am but this week has started waking up earlier and wanting a feed, if I try and resettle we get a lot of crying and lot of getting up and down, if I feed it takes 30 mins but then goes back off for a few hours.

I have a 4 yr old who's taking to having a wander in the night so I feel your tiredness Hun

There is so much going on developmentally at this age they do have trouble with naps and settling, mine is waking at the minute to practice rolling 

[becj86]

Would rubbish naps and difficulty settling cause early WU as well?

Sure, the rubbish naps can cause an issue - though usually at the beginning of the night. The too-short A time in the morning is what tends to cause the early wakings but honestly, at this age, its best to feed if she's been >4hr since the last feed and she's waking frequently through those hours.