6.5 month old sleep

[beckycook1]

Hello

Firstly, I'm sorry this is a bit long but I hope someone can help! My 6.5 month old is a terrible sleeper. She settles well using the shush pat method but is heavily reliant on this or feeding in order to sleep. She is not able to just drift off herself at all. We have been trying to reduce the shush pat method and are able to just hold a hand on her chest and don't always even need to shush. Sometimes I can just stand near her but I do need to be with her. If I leave before she is asleep she cries and we have to start all over again. This is the case for naps and also during the night. Some nights she wake up every hour. I have 3 main questions

1. How can we reduce the shush pat so that she can resettle herself? I want to be there to comfort her but every hour or more through the night for the last month or so is so tiring.
2. Sometimes she does resettle herself (I can see her wake up on the video monitor, have a little look round, wriggle a bit and then go back to sleep), sometimes she goes back to sleep with a really quick pat on the chest and I can leave straight away but other times she just will not settle, she keeps rubbing her eyes, wriggling around and whimpering, she will seemingly drop off and then suddenly jumps and cries again. There are times when I go back to bed because she's been still a while and as soon as I lie back down she is crying again and this can repeat several times. Do I assume that when she really won't re settle there is something wrong ie. hunger/pain/cold/hot etc?
3. She is BF and has started weaning and eats reasonably well 3 small meals a day. She has a feed at 6.30 and then usually wakes around 11 at the moment for another feed. She is then waking between 2-3am and between 5-6am wanting a feed. She regularly wakes at other times but settles easily. At 2-3am and 5-6am she will not shush pat and settle. If I pick her up she wriggles around in my arms trying to suck my shoulders or anything she can get her mouth on. I usually feed her and she will feed for about 10 mins and then settles again. My HV said she shouldn't be feeding at night anymore. Should I be trying to stop her from feeding at night?

Her EASY schedule is a bit muddled at the mo as we are establishing solids but looks something like

7.30am: Wake up
8.00: Solid breakfast
9.00: Milk feed
9.30-10.00: Nap (sometimes this is an hour and a half)
10.00-12.00: Activity
12.00: Solid Lunch and Milk Feed
1.00: Nap
2.00-3.30: Activity
3.30: Milk feed
4.00: Cat nap (usually only 30 mins)
4.45: Solid tea
6.00: Start bedtime routine
6.30: Milk feed and put down to bed

I'm still playing around with milk feed and solid times. They do change a lot. Sometimes she isn't hungry for milk for ages and other times she seems suddenly really hungry. I guess she is still getting used to eating and sometimes she eats lots and isn't bothered about milk whereas other times she isn't so keen and then needs more milk .

Thanks so much for any advice you can give.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Hi! My baby is just 7 months, so we are a tiny bit ahead of you.

First of all, ignore the health visitor about night feeds, 1-2 is perfectly normal at this age.

Second, getting her to settle...have faith, it will come. We have really only just started to get consistently independent naps. Do you give her the opportunity to self settle before you start shh pat? If not, try putting her down and leaving the room, returning to help her if she gets upset.

I have had to listen very very carefully to him after I put him down, as I was rushing in too quickly to help him settle. I time it and go in after a minute if he is stop-start crying, immediately if it's a wail.

Thirdly, routine. She's on a really short day with lots of naps for her age. It's possible that she is getting too much day sleep to settle well at night. I'd be looking at extending her A times.

In case it helps, our routine is
Wake 6-6.30 (varies)
Set nap at 9.15, mostly 40mins
Set nap at 13.30, mostly a longer one
Bed around 6.30
He has three meals and milk feeds after each wake, and at bedtime.

[beckycook1]

Hey.
Thanks for your message.
Im glad you said that about the night feeds. I'm sure she is hungry!
I always give her the chance to self settle but bless her she starts screaming as soon as I put her in the cot. I stroke her hair a bit and say things like 'its sleepy time, mummy will see you in a bit' and then I leave. I usually leave it 3-5 mins but she really really screams.
When she first wakes up the crying is usually a bit more whimpery but always escalates. I don't think she's ever cried and then settled. 8 minutes is the longest I've ever left her for but I cannot bear it...she gets so distressed. She's a very stubborn baby. She hates her buggy and has kept up screaming in there for 30 mins before I know she will keep it up!

She always seems so exhausted by bed time and usually conks out pretty quickly but then wakes back up again after an hour or so. She really suffers when she's over tired...she screams!

[michaeljacknnugg]

No, I wouldn't leave her that long, either. A minute or two is a good chance to self settle but if she's screaming, she's asking for your help. Maybe you need to do the opposite to me and respond very quickly? I'm convinced that half of this battle is them learning that we will always, always be there if they need us.

[beckycook1]

Yeah...it almost feels like she panics and the longer I leave her the worse she gets. For her I don't think leaving works. I generally do go straight to her...especially at night as I don't want her to wake my husband and poor neighbours! The only time I leave her is if she is really playful in the middle of the night (which is quite rare). On those occasions I tell her its sleepy time and leave (she then screams) and I leave her a few mins. Usually when I go back I shush pat and then she goes to sleep whereas if I stay with her she wriggles around and tries to play with my hand as I'm patting!

I'll try making sure I always go to her. Maybe she will then think she doesn't need to scream because I will be there. It makes me sad thinking she thinks she needs to scream really hard to get my attention! She doesn't!!!!!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Some babies are just like that  . I'm hoping it's nothing personal!