Hello and welcome to BW forums
Sorry to see you didn't get a reply before now - we certainly can help you
There are lots of parents here happy to share their experience and tips and to hold your hand through sleep training.
With the feeds, it's fine if you continue on 3hr or 3.5hrly feeds, some LOs don't make it to 4hrs until closer to 6 months, my own was like that and didn't move to 4hrly E until solids were coming between milk feeds. If your LO sleeps through a 3hr E just feed on waking which I think you are probably doing anyway. If a nap is coming up and you see that a feed is also coming up do the feed a bit earlier to make sure Lo is not too hungry for sleep, just leave a little A time between E and S to avoid a feed to sleep prop. Hope this helps.
Shush/pat is the method to use for this age. You will pick up and hold with the shush/pat until LO is totally calm, nodding the eyes and then put down in the cot and continue to shush/pat all the way to sleep and beyond (20 mins into sleep LO reaches deep sleep). During the training you will reduce the amount of shush/pat so that eventually LO gets some in arms, goes into the cot awake (but very drowsy) you do a little shush/pat in the cot and then leave the room before he is asleep. This is the goal.
At any point, if/when he becomes upset you will increase the shush/pat again so he knows you are there, if he is crying you pick up and totally calm him in arms again, once he is nodding you put him back in the cot and continue shush/pat.
When he is able to fall to sleep independently he will likely find it easier to transition from one sleep cycle to the other independently but you can also help teach him this too using W2S (wake to sleep, I'll give you a link when you need it if you are not familiar with it). This can help him learn to take a longer nap and to be confident in being alone to transition from one cycle to another.
If he totally wakes up before the end of nap time you can either shush/pat in the cot to see if he will go back to sleep or you can pick up and use shush/pat in arms to help him relax, again putting down when he is drowsy and nodding - if necessary you can continue all the way to sleep and then put down and continue shush/pat, it is not the end goal but it is a step int eh right direction to get a longer nap in the cot.
It may be that he needs an A time increase to help him be tired enough to fall to sleep too.
The first few days of sleep training Tracy suggests observing and recording the times of E, A and S. This is really helpful to us to see any pattern emerging or to see what sort of A time and S time your LO is currently doing. From there we can likely advice on a suitable way forward and if any time may need a bit of a change.
Could you start recording your EAS times please? When you post the times it is helpful to us if you do so in this format:
WU 7.00 (Wake Up)
E 7.00
A 2hr
S 9.00 - 9.45 (45 mins, tried to resettle for 30 mins but unsuccessful)
E 10
A 2hr
S 11.45 - 12.30 (45 mins)
E 1.00
and so on... please show the whole day
BT (bed time)
NW night wake this is where LO wakes and needs help but is not hunger
NF night feeds
Add short notes about anything important such as trying to resettle or the mood LO was in.
Try to be accurate with the times, record the actual time of sleep and when he wakes from his nap also if he goes back to sleep what time and until when. This information helps us quite a lot.
Do not worry if the routine doesn't look exactly like EASEAS it is okay for it to be EASAEAS if naps are short and feeds are every 3hrs.
Please also feel free to ask any questions you have
