A bit desperate now :(

[FPT23]

I've gotten rid of the paci and swaddle...

But he will not sleep. I've dropped to ONE nap a day and it's usually 2.5

Only way he will sleep is in his stroller...

I'm on the 4th day and it has not gotten easier. i PD earlier for naps knowing how long the wind down can take... I've PD when he's OT and it was worse as he cried right away.

He won't soothe in any other way and he's been rolling so I cant swaddle again. Paci he was just taking it out or messing with it. I was up to legs out, and one arm out with the swaddle.

Before he would be fast asleep within 5/10 mins with the paci, swaddle and a pat/head rub. Now neither the patting or head rubs work in his crib.

It takes 3+ hrs to get a morning nap and by then I've took out a few times to feed and then it's just an afternoon nap ...I never leave him to cry and we attempt several times but I can't take the crying he does. It breaks my heart and makes me feel I've done something wrong here or I can't help him 

ANY advice please. He's not sleeping at all during the day unless we are out in his stroller. How long can this possibly last. He's just crying and nothing helps ...do I give in again to the swaddle and pacifier? It's our 4th day out- figured by now there would be some change!?

[Lindsay27]

I would honestly go back to what was working before.  We kept the swaddle even after DD started rolling.  She just did.not.sleep without it.  So we kept it until she was 5 months when she made it clear she didn't want to be in it anymore.  As for the paci, even if he is taking it out he was getting some sleep with it, correct?  I am so pro-paci it's not funny lol, I would never dream of taking it away lol, but I can understand if you think it is a prop getting rid of it. 

I just know I tried to drop the swaddle 3 times and it was abundantly clear she was not ready.  She was not rolling in it so I didn't think we had a safety issue so we kept it.

[FPT23]

Thank you Lindsay!

That's the thing; it wasn't working before anymore once he started rolling. I didn't mind the paci until it started becoming an issue for suuuuure now. He also started refusing it and getting mad when we put it in. He refused it out of no where but not just for sleep... In general.

We are going on a week and things have not improved at all. It's agonizing. I'm at the end of my tether and don't know what to do.

I still swaddle at nights w the paci...it takes me just as long at BT too. Doesn't make a difference. I just hold him regardless until he falls asleep. But it's like a nap too. Long... Non stop and refusing paci but I just keep holding and reinforcing it as I feel I'm out of options here

The thing is- when we've had successful naps- he naps well over and hour. So it's like he's ready and can sleep--- getting to sleep is the problem. We can't figure that out. It's killing me to see him this way!

He sleeps better without the paci/swaddle though so it's getting him to find a way to fall asleep that's causing the chaos.

[jessmum46]

(((Hugs))), deep breaths, and *4 month sleep regression*

How are things now?  Did you want to post an EASY?  Mine have never fought that badly unless (1) in pain, (2) big development things or (3) totally wrong routine.  Are you sure he's not got reflux or similar?  Teeth?  Both mine had them by 4 months....  I agree if you are both getting mega OT and stressed out I would go back to what works for a bit, get a clear head and then start back (as Tracy would) by observing and seeing what your LO is telling you.  It will be something! 

[FPT23]

Thank you Jessmum!

Things are still bad. As I mentioned previously, the hard part is him getting to sleep. A pat/head rub was what worked before swaddled/paci but seriously, nothing works. He just tries to shove his fist in his mouth... He can't find a way to self settle. I used to love that I could soothe him from the crib but we've regressed and now he has to fall asleep on us again for a bit but I PD after 10 mins and finish off patting and it's a hit or miss but better than before I guess. But it takes FOREVER and lots of fighting! He's used to going off in his crib easily. Sigh...

It definitely has to do with developmental things- which is why we had to ditch the swaddle. Truth be told, he sleeps better without the pacifier and swaddle. We were already legs out and one arm out. He had started rolling both ways.

Could possibly be teeth? He's always with his hands in his mouth but no teeth in sight yet? No reflux either for sure.

The problem here is, he can't go off to sleep. I had gotten some advice to PD sooner so he would be less fussy and since I knew it would take awhile to go to sleep.... And it did work b/c he wasn't fussy and not as many tears.... BUT he got to the point where he was eventually OT b/c he couldn't go off to sleep... And then it began all over again. I guess he's just distracted with his hands and feet but this long and still hasn't gotten better? I've offered blankets and little toys to help him (loveys) but noooope. If I PD before OT he just hangs out in the crib but just won't go off to sleep.. I stay with him and try patting or helping him in a new way but I kid you not- nothing works. It's mind blowing! I expected 3-4 days but going on 2 weeks?!

His EASY is out the window... As he sometimes rejects the nap entirely or we go over the hour trying and I have to take out and feed and try again, kind of thing.

But basically he's on 2hr EASY and naps around 9am or so depending WU time, somewhere around midday and then a nap around the 3pm ish mark.

I'm so baffled that after almost 2 weeks of removing them, he still can't find a way to go to sleep in his crib. I don't like that I've reversed to sleeping in my arms as we had done so well from the crib. Any suggestions? He just will not go to sleep haha! He does eventually CRASH and we end up with 2 naps a day somedays.

Help

[FPT23]

I don't understand how 2 weeks in he still cannot find a way to fall asleep.

He can sleep well into the nap... But he just cried and cried and screams in my arms, in the crib... No matter what.

Takes hours...

I'm so baffled... And very sad about it

Even when I try early, he's calm and everything but then he can't get himself off to sleep (while me three trying attempts) and into it he gets OT and mad- then it all starts again.

[jessmum46]

I had gotten some advice to PD sooner so he would be less fussy and since I knew it would take awhile to go to sleep.... And it did work b/c he wasn't fussy and not as many tears.... BUT he got to the point where he was eventually OT b/c he couldn't go off to sleep...

This NEVER worked with mine.  I had to put down when they were tired, not before.  If I went too early/did too much wind down neither ever settled well whereas with the right A (and not in pain) then they went off in less than 5 mins.  Literally if was aiming for 2h A time I wouldn't take them to their rooms until 1h55 and I'd be out of there a minute later - into sleeping bag, cuddle and down - no more wind down than that.

I know it feels all over the place but take a step back and write down exactly what happens for the next 2 days, when he wakes/eats/you start trying for sleep/tired signs you spot etc etc and then post here.  My bet is there's something that you haven't spotted yet but hopefully we can fix it together

[Lindsay27]

^^Yes I agree, I inly leave about 5-10mins before I actually want them asleep.  Especially my DS.  He was so spirited if you attempted a nap before he was really good and ready he'd take an eternity to settle which just frustrated the both of us.  And yes, keep a log for the next 2 days and then we can take a look!

[FPT23]

Thanks for the great advice ladies! I appreciate it.

I'll do that and post it and maybe you all see something I don't! The weekends are always off since we have swim lessons, and basketball games, family events etc! I'll start Monday writing it down since it will be more consistent, being at home more and as best I can until then. Hopefully your eyes can help us out. Thank you

Let me go ahead and post yesterday as best as I remember (he's 18 weeks)

WU: 7:15am

E
A
S 9:30 (when he went to sleep. Attempted since 9:00am ish) - 10:15

E
A
S 1:30 -3:00 (attempted since 12:30)

E
A
S 6:00 ish -7:30 (attempted since 5:30 in car ride. Went out and he stayed asleep the whole time in stroller/car ride)

E
A
S attempted BT at 8:30 but he was awake as ever.

BT 9:30

NW: 2:00 ....WU today at 6:45

And you know what? Y'all are right. When he had the paci/swaddle- i went in 5-10 mins before. Less is more w him too. However, before I attempted putting him in earlier, I was doing it as before. The result was the same. He can't seem to fall a way to sleep is the issue. Basically he just plays with his hands and feet.... Then gets mad or OT. He tries but can't seem to get it right. He just shoved his fist into his mouth. As soon as he starts to doze off in the crib, here come the hands. Buuuut, he does give me long naps here and there. So I don't know how to help him at this point I'm so lost on our A times for that matter since he just extends it with this long process

[Lindsay27]

To me I think you are in a UT situation. If he woke at 7:15am and fell asleep around 9:30am I think he's probably telling you that attempting the nap at 9am was too early since that was only about a 1.45hr A time, and at 18 weeks I would think he would probably need 2/2.15hr.

[FPT23]

That's true! He's usually at 2hr A time. I guess I went for it earlier to avoid crying. If I miss the window he's mad too ...but seriously, he's such a chill happy baby so the nap struggle is breaking my heart. It's really the only time he gets so upset/crying

Today was awful for his first nap and ended up doing OT 30 mins but I resettled and he slept another hour and now he's a happy bean again. Haha!

I left him to it as I realized I was making him more upset it seemed when trying to soothe him by patting or head rubs... Once he settled, I hid in the corner of the room (haha!) and after 45 mins of attempting to sleep and almost did-- he got upset and fell asleep within 5 mins on me. This was at actually 2.15 mins that i attempted and PD. Maybe OT by then? I'll PD a bit before 2.15 or maybe at the 2hr mark. I'll def keep track as best I can and post.

Other eyes might help. This could very well be an EASY issue. I'll try to be detailed as possible!

[jessmum46]

I agree I think that day you posted ended up UT, then OT then UT for bed, but OT overall from too long a day. 

I would try PD consistently at 2h for first nap and take it from there, making sure you def put down by 2h after a short nap.  If you get a late nap you need to wake him!  Majorly painful I know and it can mean dealing with a seriously grumpy LO for the last bit of the day but I've found preserving a consistent bedtime to be so so helpful for my LOs.  On that day you posted I would have either cut my losses and made that 6pm sleep bedtime, or else given literally 15-20 mins catnap and gone for a 7.30pm bedtime. 

Looking forward to seeing your EASY logs

[FPT23]

Thanks for the advice!! Your absolutely right!

Yes I've tracked yesterday even though we will be out and about. I try and aim for the first 1-2 naps at home if I can!

I'll post soon! I'll aim for that 2hr A time for the first nap. See how it works for us! Thank you

[jessmum46]

Good luck Hun x

[FPT23]

Thank you!

Just a quick happy note...

He fell asleep on his own for the first time! A little fussing here and there but he did it! YAAAAY! Thank you all! I'll see how the rest goes... I'll still keep track of my EASY.

Had to share