11 weeks started using me as a pacifier

[katkniep]

Hi ladies,

It's started occurring to me that my DS2 has started using me as a pacifier to get off to sleep, allbeit waking up 15 mins afterwards to find out his paci has disappeared.
As soon as i notice him not drinking i remove him, but i think it's starting to form a pattern.

Does anyone have any tips for me to stop this before it gets worse?
My midwife doesn't see any problem as he's just wanting to be close to me and it's natural, i'm looking months ahead and seeing this as a potential problem. Not sure which one is correct! I never had this problem with DD1!

Sometimes he takes a dummy but 90% of the time he refuses.

x

[jessmum46]

Are you aiming for an EAS routine?  I'd be trying to feed at start of A time rather than when he is likely to be getting ready for sleep (though I know that's not always possible!) and then do as you have been doing, taking him off when not actively feeding and perhaps putting a little A time in afterwards before settling for sleep.  Something like a quick nappy change?  I would say though that although we try to avoid feeding to sleep, it is kind of inevitable sometimes with little ones and to that extent I do agree with your midwife that it is natural.  Having the mindset of this not wanting to be a long-term thing and trying where possible to introduce shh pat will all help

[katkniep]

Hi

I've been working on the EAS routine for the past few weeks but i've been having some difficulties.
He was heavy at birth and is already 15.4 pounds so he drinks a lot.
He sleeps great at night - am working on getting him from a 10-10 to 7-7 night atm, but he kind of refuses to go down for naps, he was not happy with the shh pat. Just this morning he's been awake for the last 3.5 hours, so i find myself coming up on the E again, then on the breast he falls asleep and wakes 5-10 mins later. Yesterday he had 5 naps of about 35 mins each.

[jessmum46]

What sort of awake times are you trying for?  Are you aiming for crib naps using shh pat or are you using a sling/pram etc? 

[katkniep]

Hi

He starts yawning at about 1.5 hours so i've been working with that. At the start we were using the pram but we're aiming for crib naps. Sshing seems to be more effective than the patting as well, and i've managed to get him off for a nap on his side using sshing with a hand on his back and tummy so i think that's the way forward. He jolts at about 5 mins and wakes a lot after 10, 15, 25 mins.

Here's a sample easy i recorded on saturday:

E - 7.30am
A
S- 8am
A - 9.45 am

E - 11.20am
A
S - 11.52am (7 mins)
S - 12.06  (22 mins)

E - 12.49 pm
A
S - 2.05pm (4 mins)
S - 2.24pm (15 mins)

E - 3:10pm
A
S - 4:13pm (16 mins)

E - 6.24pm
A
S - 7.40pm (31mins)
E - 8:16pm
E - 9.45pm

S - 10.20pm
E - 3am

[jessmum46]

I wonder if perhaps by the time you are trying he is already OT and that's why you're struggling?  1.5h is quite long for a 9 week old, I'm sure in Tracy's books it says by the time you are seeing yawns it's almost too late.  Perhaps this link may be of use to you?  Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!   I'd suggest aiming for in the crib by around 1h10 or so aiming for sleep shortly afterwards xx

[katkniep]

Hi! Have been trying for getting him down at about 1.15hrs, now i'm starting to get 15 min naps if he goes down at all
I walk him around and he just doesn't seem to get tired, put him down and he screams unless he uses the breast to get sleepy-that seems to be the only way to get him sleepy at the moment and it's driving me crazy already. I will experiment with getting him down even earlier!

The amount of milk he drinks causes a lot of gas, despite burping he seems to be in almost constant wind pain and i'm wondering if it's contributing! He is also jolting a lot, at 5, 10, 15. I'm counting a good nap as 35 mins atm!

[jessmum46]

Could he possibly have reflux?  Is that something you've considered?  Such super-short naps and wanting to feed a lot suggest perhaps he's in some pain . Reflux 101 - General reflux information Not saying it definitely is - but may be something to think about?

[katkniep]

I don't think he has reflux - I think i may have gotten into accidental parenting :/

I just reread Variable #3 from BW solves all your problems, and i think the problem is that i have just been using the breast to get him to sleep, he needs suckling time but won't take a dummy so i'm a bit stuck! He's now 11 weeks old.
I think i started doing it as my mum died as he was 5 weeks old and i was desperate for him to sleep, now i have a baby who will only fall asleep on the breast, in the car or pram.. help!

[Sorbai]

Have you tried the gentle removal plan?

[katkniep]

Actually, i've noticed after drifting off, he spits up and wakes up as it seems to cause pain... and he's gassy and doesn't sleep well until he's emptied himself.. I seem to have so many variables i don't know where to start

[jessmum46]

If he's spitting up and seem in pain I would go and have a chat with your health visitor or doctor as a first port of call.  No point in trying to sort anything else out if he is uncomfortable really.  I will say though that he's still very young and I don't think that the true effects of accidental parenting kick in until rather later on, plenty of babies are rocked, nursed, cuddled to sleep at this age and don't wake anywhere near so frequently.  That's not to say I don't think independent sleep is important, I do, but equally in the first 3 months especially I don't think you can 'spoil' a baby by helping too much .