I may need help from the ground up?

[Jo16]

So this is the first time I've ever posted on a forum!

My baby girl just turned 4 months. Before we hit 3 months, she was eating every two hours and sleeping through the night, about 8 hrs. I don't know what happened, exactly, but at 3 months everything changed. I think I took someone's advice and switched her to a 3 hr feeding schedule, they said she could probably handle it since she was sleeping through the night. Well, I didn't know about easing into transitions, and I just went one day doing 2hr to the next 3hr! That's when she started waking up crazy intervals at night and then naps were HORRIBLE.

I've since then pulled in the reigns and we went to a 2.75 hr feed with 1 to 1.25 hr wake time. It has helped a lot, but she has the 45 minute intruder thing happening. I'm wondering if I'm doing something off? Also, with the feeding time thing, I thought that 2.5hr was too short bc she would never eat a full meal, but then again sometimes she does. So I don't know what to do bc hunger cues are nonexistent for the most part.

7a - wake and eat
7:45/8- nap (usually short and wakes at 9)
9:30/:45 - eat (bc of short nap, the next nap is at 10)
12p/:15 - eat (due to poor naps usually next nap is at 12:30)
2:30/:45 - eat (" ")
4:30/:45/5p - eat (obviously this is not a consistent schedule, I need help)
Awake for 2 hr, sometimes 3!!
Bedtime 7-7:30
I used to DF but now just let her call when she's hungry. Usually midnight. Then up again 4:30/5am for a snack...haven't the courage yet to tackle that one.

Help! We need a routine that works! She settles down on her own pretty well, for which I'm grateful. It's just the waking up in her REM for naps

[Lindsay27]

Hi and welcome to BW! You'll find a great supportive community here and don't you worry we'll get this all sorted out!

So at first glance I think what it happening is your A times (awake time) is very short for her age which is why you can't get a long nap, which is definitely going to affect her nights.  At 4 months you are looking to have around a 2hr awake time, so if she wakes at 7am I'd be looking to have her asleep for her first nap around 9am (I usually start the wind down process about 10mins before).  This is subsequently going to stretch out her time between feeds which will (hopefully) mean her feeds will be bigger/better.

You might find that she starts "acting" tired earlier than 2 hours, but often this is just because she needs a change in activity/stimulation.  Tired cues start to become unreliable after 3ish months.  What you can do is try to stretch her A time by 10/15mins every 2-3 days, but I think you will find she'll be able to make the jump pretty quickly and easily.  What do you think?

[Jo16]

Well I hear ya, but I wonder if that's what got us all messed up in the first place? I had her awake for two hours at a time, and my friend said she was probably getting overtired. When I cut back to A being 1-1.25 hr, her going down for naps was WAY better. But yeah, staying asleep isn't as good. Except for the late afternoon, then she tends to sleep a little better. Which confuses me bc I have heard that they sleep less as the day goes on. Also, A time in the morning, shouldn't that be the smallest gap of the day? You don't wanna start with 2 hr awake, right?

The other day I tried a stroller walk after the 7a feed, thinking its help her sleep through the transition. Well it ended up causing her not to fall asleep at ALL, so she was up 2 hr. That day was no fun. Naps were bad.

So...??

[Jo16]

But I just realized all of this "well this is what happened" was when she had just turned 3 mo...now she just turned 4, so maybe the rules have changed...again haha

[Lindsay27]

But I just realized all of this "well this is what happened" was when she had just turned 3 mo...now she just turned 4, so maybe the rules have changed...again haha

At 3 months old yes, a 2hr A time was probably too much, but A times are constantly increasing and often can even change week by week and you will find that if you don't stay 'on top' of increasing A times then you end up with short naps and/or a UT/OT loop situation.  Here are some good links to look over. 

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
Time to Transition - 3hr, 3.5hr or 4hr EASY

Also, A time in the morning, shouldn't that be the smallest gap of the day? You don't wanna start with 2 hr awake, right?

Not necessarily.  Many find that if their first A time is not long enough then they end up with EWs - early wakings - around 5:30am.  I always tried to make my first A time a full one because it was more likely we'd get a good nap to follow.

[Jo16]

Hmm, interesting. Well, thank you for the insight! I will do some chewing!