13 month old really bad SA - WIWO question

[ENMS]

DD2 is 13 months old and has been an IS for a long time.

She started at a new daycare center 2 weeks ago - she had been going to a childminder for 3 days a week since April but we have just moved her so that she can be with her brother.

since she has started she has really bad SA at sleep times. she screams and screams and screams and will only settle if in my arms. in the end she just crashes once she's totally exhausted and sleeps but the next day the pattern repeats and she is now OT!!

I've read the FAQ and I know I'm supposed to do WIWO but I'm not sure how to do it when she starts crying and is totally panicked before I even put her down. I'll do the routine, which ends with a song, and she's so tired I can see she's almost falling asleep, then as soon as I start to move to put her down in her crib she starts screaming. if I put her down she will immediately get up and scream again until I pick her up. so I don't know how I am supposed to do WIWO because I'm supposed to come back as soon as she cries but if I do that I won't even leave her. I have tried leaving the room and then immediately coming back but it's not working very well, we were at it for over an hour at BT last night and today for nap time after 30 minutes I gave up and APOP'd a stroller nap.

Any thoughts?

[ENMS]

Anyone?

Things are still really bad. She will only sleep if DH is the one putting her down. He tells her it's sleepy time but stays in the room with her and she feels comfortable enough to go to sleep.

With me she is extremely clingy during awake times too. She just wants me to hold her.

Poor baby she is so OT now

[Roseii]

Hugs lovely, WIWO wasn't an option for me either, I had to do Gw. So she would be crying when I put her down, I would lie next to the cot, holding her hand if she let me (often she was standing up screaming so hand holding not an option) and honestly I wouldn't engage with her. Yes I felt guilty but I never once left her alone crying. The idea being you can then move yourself a bit further from the bed towards the door each night. It is time consuming but honestly if you can deal with her crying and not engaging with her, I found it less stressful then WIWO.

[ENMS]

Ok that is a good idea Roseii thank you. I'm willing to try anything at this point!! I think she needs to get attached to a lovey or teddy bear maybe to help her through this phase? I've been trying but so far no success at all. This afternoon even DH couldn't get her to sleeP, after 1.5h we just gave up.

How long would it take for her to fall asleep with you next to her? Did you stay the whole nap or left when she was asleeP?

[Roseii]

Oh I left when she was asleep (if I hadn't fallen asleep myself lol) Honestly I cannot remember how long it took her to fall asleep, but it definitely reduced quite quickly with consistency. Good luck Hun xx