9 month old refusing 2nd nap

[olliepop]

My 9.5 month old son is suddenly crying like crazy for his 2nd nap to the point where I just have to get him up. He goes down without much of a fuss for his first nap, and at bedtime. I feel like he is either overtired or undertired but not sure which. He seems to be rubbing his eyes beforehand but is acting like he just doesn't want to nap at all. This is basically his schedule:

He wakes up around 6am.
breakfast/bottle around 7:00
9:00ish - NAP #1
bottle when he wakes up, he can sleep usually about an hour, up to 1.5 hours
lunch around 12:30
1:30ish - NAP #2
and then it's just been a big mess, he used to then wake up around 2:30 and have a bottle, followed by dinner around 5-5:30, bedtime routine starting at 6:00-6:15.

[olliepop]

Update, I tried putting him down again at 2:30 after giving him a bottle but it's the same thing, hysterics, keeps pulling up in his crib and crying. I'm guessing he must be over tired at this point and am considering putting him the car for a car nap just so he can get some sleep. I'm not sure what else to do. He's never had a problem with nap times around 9:00 and 1:30 before.

[Scottishmummy]

Hi there!
Sounds like the start of the 2-1 nap transition. I have a DD the same age and am going through this transition too.

Have a read of this link: From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)
It sounds like the short am/long pm option would suit your LO so you probably need to start waking him early from the morning nap to get an afternoon one

Have a read of the link and come back if you want to chat anything through
Xxx

[olliepop]

Thanks for the link! I'll look into that short morning nap/long pm nap solution.

Today was kind of crazy, I'm surprised this worked, but here is what happened:

6:30 - up for the day
8:40-10:10 - nap #1
1:10 - attempt at nap #2, just cried for the whole hour in his crib, got him up, did his 2:30 bottle, and for the heck of it:
2:50 - nap #2 attempt, actually happened, and he went to sleep happily and easily.

I'm not totally sure what to think about it. It seems weird his first A time would be just about 2 hours, and then his second is over 4 hours, I guess about 4.5, that seems kind of crazy to me.

[olliepop]

Also, for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure LO is a spirited baby, I read they don't require as much sleep usually. Probably explains what a huge fighter he is. I remember he dropped his 3rd nap way earlier than I would have expected. I can't remember the last time that even happened on a regular basis. I'm guessing it was 6 months or so.

[Scottishmummy]

How are his nights and what time is BT? Sometimes a very short first A can be catching up on night sleep... Or might be just catching up on sleep from refusing the 2nd nap the other day.  It's good to let him catch up on sleep as much as possible before you start any  routine changes
Good luck with nap capping!

[olliepop]

His first nap is about 2 hours after he wakes up lately, but it hasn't helped the afternoon nap yet. Today I tried the first A being about 2 hours and 15 minutes, and he did a mini protest of what he does for the afternoon naps, but I got him down in about 20 minutes at least. So maybe I need to keep it to 2 hours after his wake up time after all.

He also woke up happy and babbling today from about 4:45-5:30, we didn't know what to do really so my husband fed him a bottle and he went back to sleep until 6:45. But he was never really crying, just sort of awake and making random noises here and there, sort of talking to himself. We'll see how the afternoon goes 

The past couple nights he went to bed at 7:30 because by the time I'd get him down for his afternoon nap, it was pretty late and he wasn't acting sleepy at all until later. His bedtime used to be earlier. I kind of feel like everything keeps shifting, we're trying to wean him off his one night wake up bottle, and I'm not really sure what the right thing to do is here.

[Scottishmummy]

It's such a tricky stage.  My DD is also 9.5mo & in a bit of a nap mess with BT getting later and early wus

I wonder whether your 4.45 Wu was UT from a short first A & early first nap. 2hrs is a really short A time for this age. 

Looking at the routine you used to do, I think I would try to get back to 3hrs A time before the first nap but then wake him after 45min and try the afternoon nap earlier again e.g. Back to 1.30pm then hopefully get BT 4hrs after that if you get a good nap?
If he's getting tired earlier than the 3hrs (maybe due to the shorter/more broken nights?) at least try cutting that first nap short to get an earlier, hopefully long 2nd nap, a good stretch to bed and (fingers crossed) a good night. If he catches up on sleep he might get back to a 3hr first A time.

[olliepop]

I think that's right. He only slept 40 minutes at 9:00 today and 40 minutes when I finally got him down at 2:00. Hoping for an early bedtime tonight and try again tomorrow.

[Scottishmummy]

Yeah, I would try the longer first A (as close to 3hrs as possible) but with a shorter first nap and see if that gives you a longer 2nd nap that he is more ready for.

[olliepop]

Geez, yesterday he refused his AM nap about 20 minutes and then fell asleep, today I kept him up 3 hours past his WU time and he is doing the same thing he was doing for the afternoon naps, just climbing up to stand and screaming. How do I even shorten his AM nap if he's starting to refuse this too? I tried everything, the only thing I can think of to do at this point is keep him in there for an hour but he sounds just awful.

[Scottishmummy]

Maybe he's ready for more A time before the first nap and more of a long am/short pm pattern?  Does he show clear tired signs? Could you just keep him up & not try for first nap until you see yawn/eye rub/ear pull etc.? 

FWIW my DD is 9.5 mo and doing 4-4hr30 before she'll take her first nap, then does a short CN late afternoon to get to BT. Though her A time is at high end of average for her age, I think.

[olliepop]

Yeah I might try that next I suppose, I tried the morning nap a few times today and he just was never going down until finally I tried around 12:00 and he easily curled up and fell asleep then. I have no idea why that time was the charm but it was, but he only slept 45 minutes. I took him for a car cat nap this afternoon.

I'm wondering if part of it is separation anxiety, because now he's doing the same thing for bedtime, and we started his routine at 5:15 because he hardly got any sleep today. And it's the same thing, standing up and screaming, we try and calm him, it settles him just barely, tell him goodnight, screams again, my husband is in there giving him a bottle again right now. Okay apparently he just finished the bottle and is screaming again.

FWIW, he's a spirited baby, so he gets very fierce.

[Scottishmummy]

Could be SA, it is the typical time for it. Have you read this link? Separation Anxiety

Could also be developmental if he's working on new skills. Spirited LOs like to keep going and going with things! if it is, then it can help to make sure he gets lots of chance to practice stuff in hus A time but has a good WD before the nap, e.g. Not going straight from activity to nap but having some quieter activities/time first.

Could also be some UT I.e. If you were trying to get him down for a nap for a long time in the morning, he wouldn't get his full amount of play and activity...then might have been a bit UT/OT at BT because of late CN, EBT but less daysleep.

I'd try keeping him up and playing until tired signs so you get an idea of his A time now, then use that A time but with a 15-20 min WD and also the SA suggestions in the link above and see how he goes.
If you get a long first A time you might find long am/short pm better. If he won't take a long am nap anymore, regardless of A time, you might have to keep new A time but cap the nap.

Sorry for all the options and no definite answers....it's all a bit of trial and error!