7 1/2 mo hates going to sleep and gets mad - please help!

[N_Mom_S]

Hello! My son is 7 1/2mo. Thanks to the advice of some mothers on this forum we got to a really good point when he was about 5mo. Some days (very occasionally) he was sleeping independently, most of them he would start crying after some time moving around in the crib but as soon as we would start patting he would stop and fall asleep. That didn't last longer than 2 weeks, though. He had a bad cold and we threw in some AP and rocking and it's gone downhill since then, it's only getting worse and worse. We still do shh pat but it's basically impossible to put him down without long periods of crying, especially for BT but sometimes also for naps. He always cries, sometimes more, sometimes less, but he hates it. Our routine (for naps and BT) is story, song and white noise. Usually, he starts complaining as soon as we enter the room because he knows he's going to bed 
I'm also starting to see some possible separation anxiety, but only around BT (he suddenly starts to cry when I leave him alone), the rest of the day he's a very happy boy.
I've read about gradual withdrawal but I don't know if it's appropriate for us since he was sleeping independently only very occasionally. Also, would it work with a baby who cries since early in the routine, even in our arms?


This was our EASY for the last few days, we're trying 3h15 A time but sometimes less or more depending on his cues. The longer periods before BT are usually because he's crying for a long time, but in all of them there was some crying:

WU 8:45
E 9:10 nurse, 10:30 solids
A 3H05
S 11:50-1:10 (1H20)
E 1:15 nurse, 3:00 solids
A  2h50
S 4:00-5:30 (1H30)
E 5:40 nurse, 8:00 nurse, 8:30 solids
A 3H55
BT 9:25

--- 10:00 pat, E 1:30, E 5:00



WU 8:25
E 8:55 nurse, 10:45 solids
A 3H15
S 11:40-12:45 (1H05)
E 1:05 nurse, 3:00 solids
A 3H30
S 4:15-6:30 (2H15)
E 6:35 nurse, 8:15 nurse, 8:30 solids
A 3H50 (tried 3h20)
BT 10:20 (OT)

--- E 1:15, E 4:30



WU 8:30
E 9:00 nurse, 11:00 solids
A 3H30
S 12:00-2:30 (2H30)
E 2:35 nurse, 4:30 solids, 5:15 nurse (a little change because we were out)
A 3H30
S 6:00-6:30 (30M)
E 8:00 nurse, 8:30 solids
A 3H35
BT 10:05

---DF 00:00, 3:00 pat, E 4:30



WU 7:45
E 8:40 nurse, 10:30 solids
A 3H20
S 11:05-1:05 (2H)
E 1:05, 3:00 solids
E 3:40 nurse (I'm introducing a new one after his second meal to see if he needs to eat less at night)
A 3H40
S 4:45-5:25 (35M, woke up crying)
E 6:00 nurse, 8:20 nurse, 8:45 solids
A 4H15
BT 9:40 (OT)

--- E 1:00 (only 1 breast to see if he eats more during the day), 3:30 pat, E 4:30 (1 breast), 5:30 pat


WU 8:15
E 8:20 nurse, 10:30 solids
A 2H45 (he was falling asleep while eating his solids!)
S 11:00-12:15 (1h15)
E 12:25 nurse, 2:20 solids
E 2:50 nurse
A 3H30
S 3:45-6:15 (2H30)
E 6:20 nurse, 8:10 nurse, 8:40 solids
A 3H30
BT 9:45


We're really tired now and we'd really appreciate some help! We didn't think it was going to take this long

[N_Mom_S]

I forgot to mention the type of crying at BT is different than what he had been doing before. He has silent periods in which he seems asleep but then starts screaming again, and it goes on and off. Before, he would cry continuously.


As an example, this was a really good day from when he was exactly 6 months:

WU 7:40
E 8:30 nurse
A 2H40
S 10:20-11:10 (50M)
E 12:00 nurse + solids
A 3H05
S 2:15-5:05 (2H50) - he fell asleep by himself
E 5:15 nurse, 8:25 nurse
A 3H55
BT 9:00 - he fell asleep by himself

--- E 4:04, 5:30 pat

[Lindsay27]

Hi hun! We are experiencing some SA here too and I know many of the moms on the birth clubs have been going through this around this age so it appears to be normal.  A few thoughts on your EASY though that might be contributing...

I would cap daytime sleep at this age to 2.45hr otherwise I think you are going to find it affects BT and night sleep.  So if he does a big 2hr nap then I would be capping the next nap to 45mins.  Also, I wouldn't offer a nap any later than 4pm as it is likely affecting why it is taking so long for him to settle at BT, a kind of UT/OT situation. 

[N_Mom_S]

Thank you Lindsay! I'll take the 2h45 advice When you said no naps after 4pm, also with that late BT? I know his WU/BT times are later than usual but it's what works best here in Spain. Right now his WU time is perfect and for BT anything between 9-9:30 I think it's OK. What would be the latest you'd let him nap with that BT but trying to avoid OT at night?

And sorry, what does SA mean?  I don't know that one


Any thoughts on gradual withdrawal? Thanks!!

[Palmira78]

Hi N_Mom_S
I was thinking that perhaps your baby would get better if you spend some time during the day playing with him in his bedroom. Perhaps on the floor at the beginning and then later also in the crib. That way when you take him to sleep he may not go straight into tears.
Another option is to change a little his bedtime routine so he does not link it to "the moment when I normally cry". Try doing things slightly different. For example I think that at 7 months old he is way too small for stories (I am mum of a 3 years old boy).
Have you considered if the room temperature could be interfering? I am in Spain too, and my little one is very thirsty in the night. Well these are just ideas in case they help. Good luck :-)

[N_Mom_S]

Hi nluno, thanks for your advice, reading your post I see we're in a similar situation!

I also thought the temperature could be interfering. I live in the north but it's getting quite hot anyway, and especially when he cries so much he gets really hot, so I try to dress him in light clothing. I'll keep a bottle with water to offer him at night, probably instead of the first feed, although I doubt that's related to the crying.

I think your advice about playing in the bedroom is very good! We do play in the bedroom during the day, but it may be beneficial to play in there for a while before starting the bedtime routine. I'll also try to let him play in the crib sometimes, we'll see if it works!

Do you have any suggestions for a different routine? Well, more than a story what we do is letting him look at the pictures while we speak about them, and he hits the book and tries to grab the pages. Sometimes he also turns the pages himself. That is when he's not crying from the start of the routine, of course.

[Palmira78]

Regarding the BT routine, I would make it different from naps routine so he differentiates them. In the night I would change his nappy, put on a pajama or anything different from the rest of the day. I would put the blinds down, stay in a dimmed light with him. I would place him in the cot, pray a prayer (or a poesy, but always the same one), kiss him good night. Also I would stay sat in a chair next to the cot, so he feels that I am there until he finally sleeps.
I do not know if this is a good routine, but with my elder son it worked well. With my 7 months old, in adition to what I just described, I nurse him just before I place him in the cot. I just give it as an example although perhaps it is not "perfect" according to BW since I should not stay in the room, but it is just 2 minutes.

My feeling is that perhaps looking at the book is more exciting that relaxing for your baby? especially if he tries to grab it and play. What do you think?

[N_Mom_S]

You may be right about the book, we'll try something different then!

Today it was better, we stayed in the room for a longer time and cuddles and he cried less at night, and his second nap was easy!