How to adjust bedtime based on nap time

[albers30]

So I've got an almost 12 month old who has been pushing her way to 1 nap a day.  Basically she starting taking a longer morning nap and refusing a second nap and now even if she were to take an early nap and it was short she's still a bear to put down for a second nap so I've pretty much gone to 1 nap a day with her unless there's unusual circumstances. She's been perfectly happy with this and I can't say we've struggled much with any behavior issues or problems during the day just some bedtime struggles but this has been an issue with her since she was born so I don't know as though it's necessarily related to the transition or not.  I still haven't found a sweet spot that gets her to bed quickly and easily so I thought I'd get some input on her schedule to help gage a good bedtime and also how to adjust this bedtime if she takes a shorter nap during the day, which often happens because she has twin 3 year old sisters who are not very quiet and often wake her, or is she takes an incidental cat nap late in the day in the car as we run around to and from activities.  The other struggle I have is a babysitter who insists on putting her down for two naps still no matter what I tell her to do so the 2 days I work we struggle with bedtime too since she has a later nap.  Here's her current schedule roughly.

Wake somewhere between 7 and 8 am
Nap between 11 and 12 and can be anywhere from 1 1/2 hours to 2 1/2 hours
Bedtime roughly 6 hours after she wakes.

Thoughts on this schedule and how to adjust it to try and get her a bedtime where she falls asleep easily but not OT and what to do when theres a lata cat nap or short mid day nap?

[Haribo2012]

Hi, when dropping to 1 nap often LO will need a short day so 11.5/12 hours from morning wake up. How long is your day getting?

[albers30]

We try to get her in bed by 7pm but its such a fight its generally 8-830 before we get her to sleep.  We've tried about anytime from 630 to 830 trying to put her down and its a fight no matter when we try.  I don't know if its all purely OT or if some of its just a behavior thing.  If the fight is not as bad and bedtime earlier we usually have a few short wakings early in the night then another around 2-3am if its a bigger fight and later bedtime she's generally out until 3-4 am although occasionally she'll have a weird 1230-1 am wakeup.  She's so hard to read and unpredictable.  ITs getting incredibly frustrating.  The other odd thing is occasionally she's been wanting a nap at like 9-930am even if she doesn't get up until 7 or 8 am.  Our nanny that watches the kids 2 days a week when I work has insisted on putting her down for a nap at 9 or 930 am since she started then generally about 2 hours after she wakes from that nap no matter what instructions I give her.  So I don't know if some of the 9am nap requests when I'm home are just out of habit from what the nanny makes her do or if she really needs it.  She hasn't gone down for a nap that early in many months so it doesn't make sense to me.  Additional thoughts on these things?

[Haribo2012]

9am is way too early for a nap at this age, I'd be insisting that it be later and keep it consistent with the day's the nanny has her and your days.

I could all birthday developmental shenanigans if it's nearly bday x

[albers30]

I agree on the nap thing but no matter what I tell her to do she just does what she wants and unfortunately we don't have any other childcare options. I'll keep working on her. Her first birthday is coming up in a few weeks so that certainly could be a factor. Here's the two other things I'd like input on. Do you think the bedtime struggles could be behavioral and not OT and we need to just set a time and take a different approach to deal with the bed time fight. Second if she just doesn't seem to be able to make a long enough stretch from her current one mid day nap to bedtime how should we adjust her schedule? Try to push out morning nap? Go back to two naps? Thoughts?

[Haribo2012]

Keep working on her....

I'd say if your nap is 1.5/ 2 hours long and it's say 11.30-1.30 then you should manage a 1 nap day with a decent BT but if it's shorter then pop a 20 min CN in there. I think the only way forward is making that nap nearer lunchtime or if you do the 9am nap then your going to need another nap.

If 9am is her only nap she will be OT by BT and that will mostly be why your getting the messing about rather than behavioural.

[albers30]

If the nanny gives puts her down anytime earlier then 11am she puts her down for a second nap and bedtime is generally around 8.  If she naps from 11/1130 to 1/130 do you think keeping bedtime at 8 for consistency is too late to avoid OT.  Should we try for an earlier bedtime in both scenarios or adjust between 7 and 8 depending on her nap schedule?  Do you think her fighting at bedtime is more likely behavioral then?

[Haribo2012]

I think if she naps till 1.30 she will most likely need EBT this age they need shorter days on 1 nap.

I'd go with OT at BT personally.

[albers30]

How early?  We tried putting her down at 630 one day as that's about a good 11-12 hour day for her depending on wake up time and she basically took it as a CN and was up in 30  minutes ready to play for 3 more hours.

[Haribo2012]

They all vary but mine needed 12 hour day on one nap and if nap was short BT was as early as 5.30 on odd occasion.