DD hates routine or another 18m SR gone wrong?

[Noelie]

Hi,

DD is nearly 19mo. she is adorable during the day, but bed time...   She was never a great sleeper, hates lying down with a passion, hardly ever slept more than 12h in 24 hours since she was 1 month old, we switched to one nap at 11 months. We have worked really really hard on sleep since she was 3 months old and we are getting nowhere. Well, not quite true, she was kind of self settling, we were able to leave her room before she was completely asleep a few months ago.

And then, apocalypse... first molars, a 2 week cold and 18 mo SR was terrible, (i didn't know about 18m SR), 1.5hours to get her to sleep without being able to MOVE before she was asleep without starting a round a screaming, and nights of 4 or 5 NW. And it's not like i'd be going very far, we live in a tiny flat, her bedroom is next to the living room, so her bed is about 1.5 metres away from the sofa were we sit in the evening. But no, I cannot be anywhere but by her cot.

The mere mention of Bedtime sets her off, and she still needs me to stay nearly one hour with her before she falls asleep. Anyway, at least she has been STTN (bar one short wake up per night for toilet break) for nearly 2 weeks now, which is a treat after 1.5 year of sleep deprivation, and her early wakings of 5.30 are now more like 6 or 6.30. Bliss.

More to the point, she seems to HATE routine, because she knows it means it's Bed Time. Anyone else has experience that? I feel i'd be better of changing things every night, like she gets annoyed if it's the same story or song (feeling like i'm actually answering my own question here, i just need to vary stories and songs). However, it takes forever, and how can i help her self settling for bedtime again. She never seems tired, and run around pointlessly in her cot.

Getting a bit desperate, thanks

6.30 WU
7.00 Breastfeed
8.00 Breakfast
10.00 Play group + Snack
11.30 Lunch
12.45 Nap (1 to 2 hours)
15.00 Snack
17.30 Dinner
8.00 BT

[Katet]

Sounds like she might be Low Sleep need if 12hours has been her norm most of her life.

I'd work on different stories each night - we'd always read 3-4 books & end with one of about 5 different books. - because I'd get bored!

I'd also limit her nap to 1hour & see if that helps, although it could be she gets a second wind & that is why she doesn't get tired... just not sure do you mean 8pm for bed time or 18.00 as all the other times are in 24 hour clock, if it's 6pm then it may be a bit early,

[Noelie]

thanks, yes, low sleep need indeed, i didn't know there was such a thing, not enough time to research when they don't sleep

sorry i meant 20.00 for BT. but the thing is, i need to get her in bed at 19.00 for her to fall asleep at 20.00. I have of course, tried to get her to bed at 19.30 hoping she would go at 20.00 but that doesn't work, she is then asleep by 20.30, we've had BT as late as 21.30. Sometimes, it looks like she is going to fall asleep after 30 min, but she fights it, stands up again, asks for the potty, asks for water, whatever she knows is going to delay bed time. I can't leave her or she screams. In desperation, a few weeks ago I even tried what i have always been against, letting her cry, i was in sight, just 2 metres away from the cot, she screamed and screamed, she was literally standing up screaming AND asleep, she would just not lie down by herself. I did it for 2 nights, and hated myself. I am back to staying by the cot for an hour every night. I'll vary the stories, it's easier if I know them because I find it difficult to read in the dark ahah, and without darkness, she gets too distracted.

My dad visited and she was happy to go in 5 min for him. unfortunately he lives far far away.

I will think about capping her nap, the idea of waking a non-sleeper is daunting having said that she had a great night last night, asleep by 20.00 woke up at  22.30 for her wee then slept til 6.45 this morning, and what a difference uninterrupted sleep makes to the parents.