Ditching the dummy, bad naps, early waking.....eek!!

[4isstillnighttime]

Hello!!!

I need some help please with my 14 month old. We have been struggling a bit with EW but we were in a good routine - WU 6, nap 1-2:30 or so, BT 7 and STTN. Amazing.

Unfortunately I have had to get rid of his dummy - a visit to the dentist made it very clear that I had to take away the twins' dummies so I just took all the dummies out of the house all at once, cjd turkey for everyone. It seemed the fairest way and I didn't want the baby having his til he was 3 as well.....

The twins are doing fine, except that they are waking early and will no longer just lie quietly in bed with their dummies, they want to get up. But the baby now is refusing to nap in his cot - he has been going absolutely crazy if I try to put him down. I don't know exactly what the issue is, whether it's an EASY tweak or a sleep training thing....

Night 1 with no dummy was Wednesday night. He went to sleep holding my hand, woke up 3 times in the night but settled holding my hand again.
WU 5:15 and wouldn't resettle
Nap 12:30-13:00 in the car but then wouldn't go into cot (he used to do that really easily but obviously that was a dummy thing)
BT 6:00 (fell asleep holding my hand again but was exhausted)

Friday WU 5:45
Nap 11:30 - 12:15 in the pushchair. Woke up when we got home. Fell asleep again in my arms as I took him out the pushchair but wouldn't go into the cot.
BT 7:00 (fell asleep with me next to the cot)

WU 5:15
I tried to put him down at 9:30 - he was yawning, grizzling and miserable. Tried for an hour. Finally brought him down again, gave him to my husband and he fell asleep on his lap having a story. Slept for about 45 mins. Tried several times for a further nap but all refused including pushchair, car etc.
BT 6:30, fell asleep with me by the cot


I am happy to do a GW as that's what I've done before. But trying to put him down this morning was a disaster - he screamed so much he vomited! I tried some shhh pat and some PUPD but it just enraged him more!! Do you think I should just wait until he is tireder (so it doesn't take so long) and just sit by the cot or something? It's tough as the twins get upset if he cries....

He's getting so OT too. Not really sure what to do. He's never slept that well in the pushchair or car seat so I can't even AP a long nap to catch up, and I've tried to resettle every one of those short naps but with no luck.

Any thoughts please please please?!?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Doing that cold turkey at that age is bound to be really tough...he will need some time to find a way to self soothe without. One thing though - what if he turns to thumbsucking? I get that this way the older two aren't tempted but I am not sure how to go about it. What was the dentists reasoning to get rid of it? My DD3 had her first dentist trip and they couldn't even tell she was a soother addict based on her teeth. Phone battery dying! Sorry have to leave it brief!

[4isstillnighttime]

The dentist said that my big twins teeth are being pushed out by it - and they are, you can see it. If the baby starts thumb sucking I'll cry, that's my only thought right now! The other thing was though that he would spend quite a lot of time on his own in his room as that's the only place he was allowed it - that's obviously stopped now which is lovely!

The baby woke up twice overnight but we did some shh pat - quite a lot of crying but it did eventually work.  I hadnt anticipated it being this tough on him though. Poor little guy. I am committed to no dummies now but any tips to make it easier on him would be great.....

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I think sticking with shh/pat and gw is the best solution. Does he have a lovey of some sort? I think at this age it is tougher because you can't explain why it was necessary like with your older kids and it is a big change in how he gets to sleep.

[4isstillnighttime]

He doesn't have a lovey....but he is strangely attached to his toothbrush and I let him hold it as he fell asleep tonight. He has settled for his nap and at BT with no fuss but I waited until he was absolutely exhausted so he didn't have much choice. He managed 1h15 nap which is OT for him, and was pretty hard work all day. Poor little thing. It was easy with the twins as the dummy fairy has brought them scooters instead which is a big distraction....but he's too little for that kind of thing, as you say.

I guess he will get used to shhh pat. I haven't ever really needed to do it before as he has just gone to sleep with his dummy holding my hand up until now. He's at the childminder tomorrow so I'll see if she has any ideas.

Thanks for the input! I feel so guilty about putting him through it, but I guess it could be worse. And I've been lucky that the twins are pretty chilled about it so at least it's just one of them creating havoc!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Aww a toothbrush...too cute! Has he always had you in the room to fall asleep? Are you wanting to get him sleeping completely on his own or just going down faster with your assistance? This might be the time to.work on that since things are up in the air anyways! I would just keep doing shh/pat less and less or perhaps just sit and use your voice to console him and allow him to work out how to fall asleep on his own and then gradually move farther away from the bed. DD3 had a hand holding prop and that is what I did - she was pretty mad and vocal at first but got used to it pretty quickly.

[4isstillnighttime]

I've always been in the room, but before this I was just sitting by the cot, reading my kindle. Because he STTN I never bothered to work on it. But he had about 3 NW again last night - first 2 settled with some hand holding, 3rd about 5 mins of shh pat and up for the day at 5....in a horrible mood though!

I wasn't touching him when he fell asleep last night which I have been considering a little victory. Shall I carry on GW to get out of the room at bedtime and then try and reduce the patting in the night?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

How has it been the last couple of days? I would totally carry on with the gw as you seem to be moving in the right direction with that. I get not working on it before now - btdt, why fix something that is working?

[4isstillnighttime]

Well, touch wood, not too bad. My childminder has magical powers and made him nap for at least 1.5 hours each day and he has STTN too. There is some fussing going to sleep but I can sit by the cot and hold his hand til he calms down, then take my hand away and sit there til he goes to sleep. This is kind of where we were before the dummy removal and I'm happy with that. He's not really napping in his cot yet (pushchair and car seat so far this week) but I'm hoping that will come as he gets used to it all.

Not sure where to go with the GW now! If it only takes 5 mins and he STTN reliably then I prob won't have any motivation to finish it off!!!