Author Topic: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping  (Read 24261 times)

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Offline sueyloo

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HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« on: August 05, 2016, 09:04:09 am »
I've got a 7 month old who has suddenly stopped napping and self soothing.
I can't remember when exactly she stopped sucking her thumb but about less than a week now?

Previously I had her on a very loose EASY routine of two long (1.75-2hr) naps and a short nap and A time ranging from 1.5-2 hours. Bed time was always difficult as she was often over tired  (because she's up from her second nap around school drop off time and with dinner and bedtime for my other 3 very young DCs) I'm not able to get her down soon enough.

All of a sudden, she's stopped sucking her thumb and whenever I try putting her down for a nap she soon starts crying. Previously, when I put her down for a nap she may fuss a little but very quickly goes off on her own. My other three are quite loud and yet she was able to fall asleep even in a noisy environment. Now nothing seems to be working. I've resolved to letting her fall asleep on the boob as that's the only time she actually sleeps but the minute I try putting her in her cot she wakes up and starts crying. 

I'm at my wits end now. And thoroughly underslept. It's summer holidays and I have all four LO's home so I really need to get her to nap. Not to mention she's obviously very tired.

Any ideas? Oh before I end, I've tried PU/PD on two occasions unsuccessfully. First time for about an hour and 15 minutes and the other time for less than 30 minutes. She actually just cried the whole time so I had to hold her for a lot longer. I'd put her down she would cry, I pick her up but she would still be crying for a long while before I can put her down again. I'm so confused now. Don't know where to start from  ??? :'(

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2016, 11:28:51 am »
I think the culprit might be your A times hun.  At 7 months you are looking at an A time of 3+ hrs (my DD is usually somewhere between 3.15-3.5hrs) so I think it's probably not the fact that she can't self soothe, it's that she doesn't want to because she's not ready for sleep yet.

Just to give you an idea (since our LOs are close in age), our rough routine is:

WU 6:30
Nap 9:45-11:30
Nap 3-4
BT 7

This is a great link to reference:
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

Do you think you can work on pushing her A times? Note that sometimes LOs can act tired earlier simply because they need a change in stimulation/activity or because they've become used to/conditioned to taking a nap at roughly the same time each day.



Offline sueyloo

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2016, 13:30:29 pm »
Hmmm well I'll certainly try that. Thank you. I am going to have a go at trying your routine too. I do think that she would get overtired with a 3hr A time but I'm willing to give anything a try right now.

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2016, 13:51:06 pm »
Yes give it a go!  Like I said she might 'seem' tired earlier but it is likely just because she needs things a little changed up.  She should be able to handle a 3hr A fairly easily :)  Let me know how you get on!



Offline sueyloo

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2016, 10:26:04 am »
Hi Lindsay
So I've been trying to up her A times. Take today for instance, she was up by 6'ish. She had some breast milk and then some porridge. Then some more breast milk. In between a little play here and there I put her down before 10 but after about 20 minutes or so she started crying. She's obviously tired but just can't go off on her own.

Yesterday was the same thing. In fact she only managed one measly nap yesterday. For about an hour. After that I tried several times but she just kept waking up after a few minutes. To be fair, she had tummy issues yesterday so each time I tried putting her down, when she started crying, her nappy was soiled.

I'm still really confused

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2016, 14:09:57 pm »
I'm really wondering if she's still a little UT hun.  I would try to get to a 3hr A and stick to it for a good 3-4 days at least and see what happens.  It might just take a few days for her to adjust to the new A time and she may act a little OT at first but in the long run pushing those As is the best thing.  Did she used to self settle?  I'm thinking that maybe if you stay with her for a few minutes with just a hand on her, she may just need a little reassurance to settle?



Offline sueyloo

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2016, 05:20:15 am »
Hi Lindsay
It may not have anything to do with UT actually. She's teething. She used to self soothe and no matter how UT she was (for example if I put her in her cot a bit early) she would just suck her thumb and soon be off. What I found was that if I took too long to put her down, she wouldn't settle.

So the day I last posted, I did the whole bedtime routine and put her down. She didn't settle so I tried PU/PD. That was horrible. I felt like such a rubbish mom! She cried so much that I hardly did much of the putting down. So I'd pick her up, and she would cry for so long then once she stopped I put her down and she'd start crying again (but wouldn't stop even when I pick her up).

I tried just rubbing her back. She didnt like that much. Lots of tears there too. I did PU/PD for about an hour. She was so tired she was asleep crying. But once I start PD she cried. In the end, I climbed into her cot ::) :o
I probably had a little  :'( too.

As it stands, she's refusing to go down period. I've not been able to get her to go off on her own for several days now. I'm wondering what it could be as even when she has had many hours A time she's still not going off. I stay in the room and reassure her but still no luck.

What would you suggest???

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2016, 14:17:50 pm »
Sorry things have gone wonky for you hun, can you post your rough EAS (what time she wakes up, what time you are attempting a nap etc.) so I can get an idea of your day and see if anything jumps out.  If you think teeth are affecting her are you medicating at all? I find the ibprophen/Advil helps the best.  Are you able to AP her at all, rocking etc?



Offline sueyloo

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2016, 20:03:45 pm »
Hi Lindsay
Thank you.

I haven't medicated because she seems fine… until it's BT or nap time. Then she gets super fussy.

Today she had two really long naps in her car seat as i went out of town and was driving for about 4 hours. So today she was

E 6:30 (BF) & 8:30
A 7-9:15
S 9:30-11:45 (in car while driving)

E 12:10 & 1:20
A 12:30-2:40
S 2:50-5:00 (in car while driving)

E 5:20 & 6
A 5:40-7:20
BT 8:00
She started fussing after a while so DH had to hold her while I put the other DC to bed.
I've fed her again and will try putting her down again. I expect it would be a struggle so may have to breastfeed to sleep.

If I can have her do what I've listed above everyday I'd be so so happy. Like I said before, she was once a self soother so she often went off on her own. But the last time she's fallen asleep on her own was about 5 days ago.  like her day to go
And it's not for lack of not trying- on a day when we're home, I'm trying several times to put her down without success.

So do give me some tips. Desperately need some normalcy (and good bad) back in my life  :-\

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2016, 23:44:29 pm »
Okay so even though those naps were in the car, it looks like 3hr A time was good for her so when you are home I would try to stick with that, I usually only allow about 10mins for settling so I would take her into her room around the 2:50hr mark.

It does sound like teeth could be a factor so maybe try meds just to see if it makes a difference at all.

On the birth club many mamas mentioned a rise in separation anxiety around this age so that could be playing a factor as well.  I've never personally done PU/PD because I found it to be too stimulating and it sounds like that may have been the case with your DD too.  What I would try is a gradual withdrawl type method when you lay her in her crib and hold a hand on her, calming her and staying with her until she's asleep.  You may need to AP a little bit, rock her, hold her until she's calm but keeping your presence there. I think we have a sticky on that somewhere, I am going to find it and post it for you.



Offline sueyloo

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2016, 02:50:37 am »
Oh Lindsay you hit the nail on its head! She IS having separation anxiety!
I will try meds and see how it goes. Pls verify, AP means actively pacify? Sorry, I'm still new on this forum.
And when I do put my hand on her back or her tummy, am I to just continue on even if she's crying? Last night, I rocked her to sleep. She was so tired. I laid next to her and rocked her. Probably not the best way but when I tried the same thing in her cot she didn't settle she Cried so much that she worked herself right up.
So I'll try for 3hr A time and Rick to sleep. What about NW? She's gone from never waking up at night (but I did one or two feeds at night because she was slow to gain (whole other story there!) to now waking up several times. What do you suggest for NW?

Offline sueyloo

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #11 on: August 12, 2016, 10:39:26 am »
Omg Lindsay, she did it!!! She fell asleep on her own! So so happy! I did a very short settle left her with a comforter and a dummy as I've been doing recently and she went off all on her own. She didn't use the dummy but she managed to fall asleep on her own. 

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2016, 13:55:07 pm »
Yay!! Great news!!!

AP is 'accidental parenting' - so rocking, holding, bouncing...basically whatever you need to do.  We don't like to make a habit out of these things, but sometimes during certain periods (teething, illness, separation anxiety) we do what we need to!  The great thing is that you know she can self settle and she will get back to that point.

How was the night?  If she was previously sleeping through I do wonder if teeth is to blame.  My DD also sleeps through but a few times last week she was waking every half hour, so finally I gave her meds at 10:30pm and she finally settled for the rest of the night.



Offline sueyloo

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #13 on: August 13, 2016, 05:41:55 am »
Hi Lindsay
After she fell asleep on her own, she woke up within about 45 minutes or so. She had a dirty nappy which is what woke her up. I breastfed her to sleep and she continued sleeping for another hour or so (had to wake her up for my Dr appointment). She was OT by bedtime and I tried rocking and had my hand on her chest/tummy. No joy. I medicated and still she just whined/cried. Eventually breastfed her while laying next to her. She fell asleep but this time at least she stayed sleeping when moved to her cot. She had about 3 NW. Then up before 6! Trying again to let her self soothe/settle as I'm so desperately underslept. She's having none of it.
Do you really think she'll go back to self soothing? I'd pay lots to have her do that again!

Offline sueyloo

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Re: HELP - 7m/o suddenly stopped self soothing and napping
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2016, 18:54:26 pm »
Hi Lindsay so the tiny progress we made yesterday has been very short lived. I tried today to get her to nap on her own and she didn't/wouldn't. She had a very short nap while I was driving but other than that, she's been up the whole day. It looks like I can only get her sleep if i nurse to sleep but even then she wakes up the minute I put her down. And she doesn't go back to sleep. I have tried the rocking, patting her back but she works herself up so much that she would wake up completely.
Any suggestions? Really struggling to cope as I've got three other LO's who are all quite young/very close in age.