1 month old - getting started!

[KingCabbage]

Hi all!  New mom here!

Been having trouble keeping my month-old lo asleep during a nap. She fights sleep and sometimes wakes a half hour into the nap. We just really started implementing EASY today and shush-patting for sleep. Shush-patting seems to calm her most of the time but she can go into crying fits (doctor has diagnosed her with colic, which is kind of a vague thing to deal with!). My main concern though is she will wake up into her nap and we have to get her back to sleep and it takes a while each time (20-30 minutes)

She seems to sleep fine at night, waking around 2-3 am for a night feeding then again at 5-6 am usually. When I first brought her home from the hospital I tried to keep to 2.5-3 hour feedings but she tended to want to eat at 2 hours instead. Now that we're officially implementing EASY I am back to trying to get her to eat every 3 hours (or at least 2.5).  I BF during the day and at night except for a couple nights a week when my husband bottle feeds her pumped breastmilk to give me a little rest.

 She was 6.7 lbs coming home and has been steadily gaining since. Plenty of soiled/wet diapers so I am not too worried it's a feeding issue. But I am open to any and all explanations!

It seems most newborns need help learning how to get to sleep but I would love some advice!

Also my husband and I really need to find a comfortable position for the shush-pat, too, her current crib (a pack and play) is too low and we're killing our backs doing the shush-pat right now :C

[EDIT] Oh also! She is super temperamental about her pacifier. When we first got it she LOVED it. But most times I just cannot get her to take it. I try to wait til she calms down and isn't crying but she just spits it out usually or pushes it away with her tongue or turns her head to avoid it. Today I got her to suck on it for a while again and she loved it again and seemed delighted to suck for a while....maybe 5 mintues. But once she was done she refused it again and now she won't take it.  I know Tracy encourages using a pacifier early on to help with soothing - anyone have any insights on this behavior?

[Scottishmummy]

Hi!

Congratulations on your new baby and welcome to BW 

My sympathy re colic, that is hard going too.

Can I start with a comment on feeds?
The advice on BF has changed  since the books were written but Tracy Hogg sadly passed away so the books have never been updated... BF advice now is to feed on demand rather than to a schedule.  2 hrly feeds is really common at this age and if that's what your little girl is telling you she needs, go with it.  Both of mine fed 2-2.5hrly to begin with and gradually extended the time between their feeds as they got older.

Pacifier- again both of mine did the same with the paci as your little girl.  Accepted it at first but rejected it after a short time.  I think they quite quickly worked out it wasn't the boob and didn't give them milk! You could try another make as some claim to be more like the real boob...but if she won't take it, I don't think you can make her. She might find another way to self soothe or another comfort item as she gets older.

Naps- could you post your typical day in EASY format?  E.g times she eats, how long she's awake for and the times of her naps e.g.
Wake & E: 7
A: 1hr
S: 8-9am
Etc
That might help work out whether she is fighting sleep and waking into the nap because of a routine reason

For sh-pat- can you kneel beside the crib & reach in? I found this much easier on my back.

It sounds like you're working really hard to follow the books. At this age, it also helps to remember that lots of LO's routines are unstable and variable and that they are still taking in a lot in a new world, learning lots every day and sleep is hard to learn.  What I mean is, at this stage very few LOs follow the book exactly and if you're just getting an Eat-Activity-Sleep pattern at this point and some naps in the crib, you're following the book's philosophies.

Xxx

[jessmum46]

Just to add to that - whilst I am all on board with getting started as you mean to go on make sure you take some time just to enjoy these precious early moments with your new bundle.  Sneak some cuddle naps and make use of LOs portability (most newborns sleep very well out and about) as these things don't last and I can guarantee you will miss them when they are gone!  Keeping the EAS pattern in mind - even just so far as to separate eating from sleeping when you can - will stand you in good stead for healthy sleeping habits as LO grows and matures x

[KingCabbage]

Thanks guys!  I have been using EASY two days now and I wrote everything down. The first day was rough but MUCH better than the previous unscheduled times. Today went even more smoothly still. She even had one nap where she went RIGHT down and didn't fuss at all, which is some kind of miracle.

The rest of her naps have been somewhat fussy but way way better than before. And she is actually STAYING asleep now. Her current evening nap she's been a bit fussy but it's my first time implementing the cat-naps/cluster feeding in the evening. She was very very sleepy for her first cluster feed then I bathed her and she had a hard time going down for her bedtime (again still MUCH better than before EASY hahaha).

Anyway here is yesterday and today:

8/6
E 530
A 600-730
S 730
E 820
A 820-945
S 945
E 1100
A 1115
S 1210 (woke at 100-130)
E 200
A 200-300
S 300 (woke on and off at 330-415)
E 445
A 445-620 (hard time getting her to sleep)
S 630 (woke every 10-20 minutes)
E 715
A 715-845 (took 30 minutes to get her to sleep)
S 845
E 930 (dream feed but she only ate 5 minutes)
A none
S 935
E 100 (2 oz from bottle)
A none
S 130-330 (was up and wiggling in crib a lot but no crying)
E 415 (2 oz from bottle)
A none
S - held her til she slept, she nodded off very quickly

So that was the first day. This was a marked improvement for us; despite her fussiness at nap times and frequent wakings, this was still a lot better than when she was unscheduled and we didn't know what was wrong and she cried so much. EASY is good for assessing problems, as Tracy says in her book, and we were starting to feel more confident.

8/7
E 630
A 630-730
S 730 (Went down very easily. Tried a new swaddle too which kept her snugger and seemed to calm her better)
E 930
A 930-1015
S 1030
E 1230
A 1230-130
S 130-330
E 330
A 345-445 (she fussed throughout most of her feeding maybe due to gas? It took the whole hour to feed/burp/resettle her).
S 445-530 catnap
E 530 1st cluster feed (she was super sleepy for this feeding I had an extra hard time getting her to stay awake and she seemed a bit cranky afterwards)
A 600 bath and bedtime (she fussed a bit during bath, she doesn't like them)
S 630 catnap (fussiest naptime yet but she still went down easier than on previous days. Woke about 10 minutes in for a bit to cry some more, we resettled her)

I am planning on a cluster feed at 730 again then a dream feed around 1000.

We have put a chair by the crib and things are much better on our backs! Also not having to stand there for 30 minutes at a time helps haha.  Good to hear about more flexibility with this system, I think I tend to want to follow the schedule too closely - I'm one of those people haha. I will try to not get too hung up on it though! I already conceded a little cuddle time/holding to sleep on the first day as you can see - we were a bit exhausted from all the fussing that night so I just didn't want to try to fight her for naptime haha. I figured one time couldn't hurt.

She seems to have adapted to 3 hours now but I decided if she started fussing at the 2.5 hour mark I would feed her. She just hasn't yet. She's 4 weeks and change today. Should I try doing 2 hours? Maybe she needs the extra feeds?

With these improvements I'm even beginning to wonder if she isn't as colicky as we thought?? She seems so much calmer. Still not some kind of angel baby of course, maybe in the Spirited category? But such an improvement. Here's hoping it lasts!

[KingCabbage]

Oh man, the 830 cluster feed was even worse! She woke, ate, got sleepy, so I reswaddled her and put her down. She started to fuss then I heard a poop, so I changed her diaper. By this time she was wide awake but a bit fussy not her usual "I just woke up and had a good feed!" good mood.

I wasn't sure if I should put her down as she was being very active. I let her stay up a bit, waiting for a yawn or other indication that she might be sleepy. I took her out to the living room. Her grandparents are visiting and she hung out while we talked. When she started crying I took her into the bedroom and tried to settle her down for bed. She was very fussy, like the first day we had tried EASY, very difficult to put down.

Is it possible she got overstimulated? Did I wait too long?

The cluster feeds feel awkward to me. I feel like she is used to being active after she eats. It also feels weird to wake her, feed her, then put her down, but then later for the dreamfeed DON'T wake her, but feed her.... they're sort of similar but not really and I find it mentally confusing.

I'm probably just new to all this

[jessmum46]

Hugs!  Just don't overthink it   If you don't like the cluster feeds or don't think they suit her, don't do them!  They aren't compulsory   I just used the EAS pattern in the day but didn't deliberately cluster feed at all (or dreamfeed! I just fed at night when they woke).  One of mine naturally cluster fed and was very fussy in the evenings, the other wanted a 7pm bedtime from day 10 EASY is an amazing tool to give structure to your day and help you troubleshoot, but each baby is different and will suit a slightly different approach.  Perhaps set yourself small goals rather than trying for the whole thing all at once.  Establishing a wake and bedtime is a good start, and maintaining a rough EAS pattern.  The rest does fall into place more easily as they grow xx

[KingCabbage]

Thanks! I think I *am* overthinking things a bit! Overall things are going better than they were so I am excited it seems to be working!

[jessmum46]

That's great   We'll be here whenever you need us x

[Scottishmummy]

It's funny what you said about colic...I started EASY with my first (DS) when he was around 3 wks old and we couldn't get him to stop crying. Our health visitor said he had colic but actually I think he was overtired and overstimulated (& very windy!).  We were keeping him up way too long and giving him way too much stimulation and he couldn't get to sleep so then was very cranky about it.  He's a touchy-spirited personality and I had a lot of help from the ladies here (including jessmum) which made a big difference to us.

I agree with jessmum about small steps. At this stage just trying for wake and BT, EAS and being aware of average A times for her age really helped us: Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

[KingCabbage]

That's exactly what happened with mine! Dr said colic and i thought "i dont remember BW mentioning if colic would be something EASY could work with". But i tried it anyway and now i am glad I did. I guess colic is what medical folks say when there's not an obvious problem besides the constant crying!