Help with PU/PD

[ladymugg]

Hi there

I would like to give PU/PD a go with my 4 mo - who is a great day sleeper, and not too bad at night, but is habit-waking for a feed so I'd like to try to stamp that out.  He wakes 2 am daily and then again at 4.30 am (and 4.30 am he barely drinks).  The aim is to try PU/PD at the 2 am point in the hope it resettles him for a 6 hour+ stretch after his 10 pm dream feed.  Then a more decent bottle when he wakes a little later in the morning. 

A few questions!  (I did PU/PD with my older daughter when around 5/6 months so I am not new to it but slightly different circumstances).

1 - Do I leave him swaddled when I do this?  Big baby (10kg) and when he's swaddled he's a bit of a giant, awkward ball... I can't imagine comforting him as well as I could if he wasn't swaddled.  But then what do I do?  He still needs to be wrapped for now.  Should I try to PU/PD when he's still swaddled, or have the wrap already in his cot so that when he is going back to sleep I can wrap the sides over then?

2 - Do you think he is really too young for PU/PD?  The book seems to suggest 3-4 months is perfect, and 4-6 months is also a good time for PU/PD.  He doesn't seem to respond to ssshhh pat and I am not that keen on it myself.  But talking to a couple of people on this forum, some are suggesting 4 months is still a bit young for PU/PD.  What do you think? 

3 - In combination with the PU/PD (and moving to a 4 month EASY, which we are 90% there with), would you offer less liquid in the night eg: reduce the amount of the bottle by 1oz/30ml every few days until the feed is barely anything?  Or would you reduce the amount offered with the feed BEFORE trying PU/PD?  I am cognizant that while he may be habit feeding he is still pretty young at 4 months!  I'll add he has been on EASY since birth and is never fed to sleep, is a good day sleeper (1-2 hour stretches most times), so this is my only (current challenge) and I am happy to put some time in to removing at least one of these night wakings.

Really appreciate your support and help  xxx

[jessmum46]

Hiya

I'm not sure I'd be suggesting PUPD in this case - not because I think he's too young (though it is in general recommended as a last resort after consistently trying shh pat with an appropriate routine, and ruling out other causes e.g. hunger) but because genuinely at this age I don't think a dreamfeed, then a 2am feed is unreasonable.  Sorry I know that's perhaps not what you want to hear though!  PUPD is generally used to break a prop such as feeding to sleep or rocking (he sounds like this isn't the case?), and won't work at all if there is a genuine reason for LO to wake.

My suggestion would be to try far less stimulating ways to get a resettle - PUPD is super-stimulating and really not what you want in the middle of the night unless you have to - so perhaps putting a paci in (if you use one), or using a variation of shh pat that you and LO find more acceptable.  My DS used to like his head being stroked and a hand on his tummy   In general an easy resettle using one of those means would suggest the waking isn't hunger, but given a 4h stretch is not an unreasonable gap between feeds for a 4 month old, if LO struggles to go back off or wakes again after 15-30 mins I would suspect hunger and feed.  You may find a quick feed at 2am gets you all back to sleep more quickly and then one of the resettling tactics will work more easily at 4am   STTN is a variable process, and not all LOs are ready for a long stretch at this age.  I know it's exhausting but it won't last forever!

As ever though - the choice is yours   In response to the specific questions - provided he is still safe to be swaddled (not rolling), I wouldn't unswaddle him.  That is only going to wake him up and stimulate him more - totally the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.  PUPD at this age involves much more settling in the cot than picking up, so is part of a continuum with shh pat rather than being a separate thing entirely.  I would leave him swaddled and try to 'do the minimum' in terms of intervention, soothing in the crib as far as possible.  You could if you want to try slowly reducing oz at the 2am feed in an attempt to move it to a bit later in the night - you may find if LO is ok with that that you never have to bother with PUPD anyway

Hope that is helpful x

[ladymugg]

OK thank you!

I am going to try the reducing the amount in the first instance.  I accepted he wanted feeding in the night up until now, but because he is having smaller amounts all the time at both feeds (I've noticed this with both feeds now) it makes me more certain that he doesn't need the feed so much, especially since he wakes up at exactly the same time every day and sometimes just doesn't feed.  I know I need to let it go but I keep being fixated on what Tracy says about babies "should" be going 6 hours without a feed at this age.  I know that doesn't apply to everyone and things have changed insofar as what people understand about baby sleep research, but I can't help but read that again and again when I go back to that section of the book :/ 

The reason I would prefer PU/PD is because he does like being held and just doesn't respond to any variation of shh pat that I've tried.  He also doesn't take a paci unfortunately (I've tried, different brands too). But I could give what you're saying a go with the rubbing etc. 

Your last paragraph in particular was super helpful re: stimulation etc.  I will try more soothing in the crib and see what happens, but I'll reduce the amount offered first.   

Thank you so much!

[jessmum46]

Let us know how you get on