Help! 11 week old routine going wonky....

[MrsTigs]

Help! My daughter's routine has gone seriously wonky over the last couple of weeks.... Is there a developmental leap or something around 10/11 weeks? Or is this the 12 week growth spurt hitting early?!

To date little one has been a great sleeper  She can mostly settle herself, sometimes with the help of a dummy, and has been sleeping for around 9/10 hours at night. She occasionally has one night feed (she's bottle fed) and goes straight back down. Napwise, she's been taking 1-2 hour naps, mostly in her Moses basket, and seemed able to re-settle herself between sleep cycles. In short, much better than her brother who was the catnap King and basically napped on my lap several times a day until he was nearly 18 months old! 

We've tried to follow EASY with her since day one, although it's been a bit loose with her brother's needs to consider too! Her routine was looking like this:

W/up: 6.30
E: on waking
A: 1 hour 15 mins
S: 7.45 (for 1.5-2 hours)
E: 10ish
A: 1 hour 45 mins
S: 11.45 (for 1 hour)
E: 1ish
A: 2 hours
S: 3ish (for 50 mins)
E: 4ish
A: 1-2 hours
S: between 5&6 (catnap 30/40 mins)
E: 7ish
A: between 2-3 hours depending on timing of catnap (this was a bit long and she often got cranky whilst we were trying to deal with bedtime carnage times two!!)
S: 8.30 (for 9-10 hours, occasionally with a feed at 2.30/3am)

But for the last couple of weeks she's been all over the place! She started resisting her first morning nap, taking longer and longer to fall asleep, despite yawning and appearing sleepy  She would then be up for 2 hours or more before finally zonking out for a couple of hours and sleeping through her next feed time. Or would refuse to nap/take a 40 min nap and be cranky all day until succumbing to a long nap later in the afternoon (usually in her car seat after a desperation drive!)

I'm not sure what her A times should look like? Her brother has low sleep needs so I worry that I'm letting her go too long by default! (He's three so I've also forgotten what the early weeks looked like!)  I've tried to follow her sleep cues and that's been great so far, but now doesn't seem to work... I sometimes feel like I'm trying to put her to sleep when she's hungry and trying to feed her when she's exhausted  She seems to be getting overtired, but I'm not sure how to break the cycle 

This is today so far:

W/up: 6.15 (after 9 hours 45 mins)
E: 6.30
S: first attempt 7.15 as yawning, but wouldn't settle. Gave dummy a couple of times and rest of 7oz bottle. Finally fell asleep at 8.15, but only for 45 mins. Tried to resettle with dummy, but got her up at 9.20
E: 9.30 (5oz)
S: fell asleep on bottle at 10.30 and transferred to bed. Slept for 30 mins, wouldn't resettle with dummy or patting. Up at 11.20.
E: 11.45 (7oz - a bit early, but seemed hungry)
S: seemed sleepy at 12.45 so took her up to bed. Down ok after feeding/ dummy, but woke after 10-15 minutes. Seemed to want sleep, but wouldn't settle. Got her up at 1.15 and sat her in bouncy chair while I ate lunch!
S: Started fussing at 1.45ish and got very irate and difficult to calm. I offered her dummy and milk, but she didn't want either. Was considering going for a walk or drive, but she suddenly zonked out on my lap at 2.20! Woke at 3.10 after 40 mins
E: 3.15 (only took 2oz)
S: 4pm - now dozing on my lap again!!

Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm so desperate to get her back to napping in her bed  I really need that time to spend with her brother on non-nursery days, plus the thought of her needing to be held/driven/pushed/patted for every nap like he did is making me feel so anxious 

I should add that she suffers from reflux so feeds can take a long time..... she tends to eat throughout her A time, little and often with plenty of wind and posset in between! It's sometimes tricky to separate feeding and sleeping because of this, but I don't think there's a major sleep association being created - she used to stop feeding, burp and then go down quite happily. However, she does often spit up everywhere and need a change of clothes, bedding etc. This then means resettling afterwards and can add to her overall A time 

Any thoughts or suggestions very welcome! xx

[creations]

Hi there
My first couple of thoughts are these:

- if the EASY she was on and working well with was back when she was 9 weeks (I'm assuming it was as you said she's been off track for 2 wks now) then she was on quite long A times for her age but actually seemed to be doing pretty well on it.  The more recent EASY the A times are quite a lot shorter.  Whilst the current A times look ok for her age based on guidance times these shorter A times might not suit her.  She may well be UT.  If she is low sleep needs or does well with a longer A time she might also be quite aware by this point, and wanting a change in activity rather than an earlier nap, those yawns can be confusing, we tend to see the boredom yawns in a slightly older baby but you know they are all different.

- reflux might be bothering her more now than it was when she was younger. Mine had silent reflux so did not vomit up a huge amount and not too frequently however as he got older it became worse and worse until he would sick up milk just before a nap even though he had eaten a couple of hours earlier.  Some LOs need meds to help with the reflux and some start quite early on, mine didn't get meds until 4.5 or 5 months by which time we we had been struggling a while and had been told a few times by doctors that he did not need meds, they called him a "happy spitter" however in put my foot down for a paediatrician referral and as soon as she met him she diagnosed silent reflux and prescribed meds. He did so so much better on the meds.  It might be worth considering. I know some people say babies out grow reflux at 6 months so it seems a short while to wait but mine didn't out grow it. He took the meds until 2yo. He has flare ups occasionally now even at 5yo and has meds for a month or so during these then comes off them again (his symptoms always include sudden disturbed sleep which is always immediately resolved when meds are started).

If it was me I would return to your previous EASY times for a few days (with a little tweak see below), see how it goes and see how she reacts and then possibly increase just a touch if she seems to still have UT naps (and meanwhile I'd think about having the reflux checked out, pain can cause good sleepers to wake at the sleep cycle transition instead of moving into the next sleep cycle).
First A time was 1hr 15 (but recently reduced to 1hr). I suggest increasing to 1hr 30
Second and subsequent A times 1hr 45 to 2hrs as they were.
Try not to reduce the A time too much following a shortish nap, she was managing a 2hr A time after a 1hr nap happily before so I wouldn't reduce to less than 1hr 30.

What do you think?

[MrsTigs]

Hi there, thanks for reading my lengthy ramblings and responding 

Yes, the previous routine was working ok at 9 weeks, apart from her getting a bit grumpy in the evenings. But I think we were keeping her up a bit too long whilst waiting for her brother to fall asleep - that worked ok when she was tiny, but now I think she wants to go to bed properly, rather than fall asleep on my lap and be transferred.

She does seem to cope ok with the longer A times and is definitely very aware - looking around, smiling, cooing (she's really found her voice in the last few days!) I guess, as she has been napping so much better than her brother, I assumed she was more on the "normal" range of sleep than he was..... but perhaps they are more similar? He also slept through the night from early on and just wanted to be up and joining in during the day!

She could definitely want a change of activity in the morning. We've been feeding her quietly in our bed - partly because she initially fell right back to sleep, but also to avoid getting up too early and waking her brother. But we could definitely consider building in a little more "activity" before her morning nap, even if that's just playing peekaboo or taking her to look out the window.

I'll definitely consider getting her reflux checked out too. For some feeds, she seems to spit up happily, but other times she definitely gets "gulpy" and distressed, and she does sometimes cry out in her sleep  We've propped her Moses basket up which hopefully helps a bit. We did think about changing her bottles and/or formula, but haven't done that yet. In some ways she seems to be getting better (less screaming in the evening!) but it's definitely still an issue. Our chiropractor is going to check her alignment soon, but I'll consider visiting the GP too to get their diagnosis and advice.

Not sure what time she'll wake tomorrow, but she went down at 8.45, after taking a 1.5 hour nap on my lap from 4-5.30 (her brother came in from nursery and woke her up!) She went off quite happily with her dummy, despite not seeming that tired after a 3 hour A time! Fingers crossed for a good night and then we can start afresh tomorrow with a 1hr30 first A time 

Thanks so much for your input - so tricky to unpick it all when you're in the middle of it!

[creations]

Glad you found it helpful in some way.
Wow a 3hr A time is really long for her age, but if she is relatively okay with it then really I don't see a problem (as in, it would only be a problem if she then only napped 30 mins or woke OT all night), I've seen some people with 2 LOs have longer A times for the second LO and that the second seems more aware and not wanting to miss out on things.

When LOs don't follow the guidance times it's helpful to know roughly where they are in comparison to those guidance times, for instance she appears to be 2 months ahead of the guidance A times (with 2hr A time at 9 weeks rather than 4 months and managing with the occasional 3hr A time at 11 weeks instead of 6 months).  I wouldn't suggest sticking to the "2 months ahead" A times as a rule as I'd be worried she'd get OT, but as time goes on I think it's worth keeping in mind otherwise there can be a risk of giving far too a short an A time and getting stuck in a rut of short UT naps.  just something to observe I suppose.

Hope you have a good day

[MrsTigs]

Hello again,

Just a quick update to say that your A time suggestions seem to be working a bit better for us  Little one has taken some decent morning naps in her bed after being awake for around 1hr 30mins. The rest of the day is a bit more hit and miss, but that's partly due to her brother being home from nursery and me missing some optimum sleep times/cues while dealing with him!

A couple of quick questions if you have a moment:

On Tuesday, little one went down in the morning after 1hr 30min and slept for 50 mins. I resettled with dummy and she then slept for another 2 hours!!  I didn't wake her as, after the days we had been having, I was loving the chance to nap and chill out! Plus, she'd had a really big feed (8oz) beforehand and had actually eaten it quite calmly and not brought much up. In the afternoon, she did the same and slept for 2 hours after a big feed. Her pattern looked like this:

W/up: 6.47
E: 7.05 (7oz)
E: 8.15 (1oz top up)
S: 8.20-11.10 (2hrs 50mims)
E: 11.20 (7oz)
E: 1pm (2oz top up)
S: 1.40-3.40 (2hrs)
E: 3.45 (7oz)
E: 6pm (7oz)
S: 6.35-6.45 (10min micro nap on bottle!)
S: 8.15 for 9.5 hours

Do you think I should have woken her? She technically missed a feed, although probably not in quantity. And the despite the big naps, she still went down ok to bed and slept for her usual 9/10 hours. She could have done with a longer evening catnap, but I didn't get her down before her brother came home from nursery and then she was disturbed by him and too interested in his game of blowing bubbles!

Is she moving towards a 3.5 or 4 hour easy already? Or was this just a blip/growth spurt? The day after (Wednesday) she basically took catnaps all day and didn't seem hungry at all.... but we were out shopping all day, so in a busy environment that made sleeping and eating tricky! Today she took a morning nap in her bed for 1hr 30, after an A time of 1hr 30, but then only took 3 catnaps of 20-30 mins over the rest of the day. But her brother was home with us, so I probably missed a couple of sleep cues, and two naps were in the car anyway on the way to and from a play date.

She ate ok today in terms of quantity and her reflux, but a couple of times seemed hungry after 2.5..... which makes me think that 3.5/4Hr easy would be too much. But perhaps that's just a by-product of the short naps?? She's awake so wants to eat a bit early? Or she's making up for her non-feeding day yesterday??  Her brother definitely still has one day on, one day off when it comes to food!!

I think I'll try and concentrate on her sleep early next week when I've got three quiet days just the two of us and no plans. I'm loving her night sleep, and the fact that she will take decent naps in her bed, but finding the variability a bit frustrating - it's difficult to plan for visitors, chores, activities with my son etc when I don't know if she'll be having a sleepy day!

Anyway, thanks again for your help  And good point about looking slightly ahead re her A times - I'll keep that in mind as we go forward. In hindsight, I don't think I adjusted in that way for her brother and so was constantly struggling with UT naps!!  Both of them seem similar in preferring to chunk their night sleep up quite early, but not needing as much sleep in the day. They can both still get OS though, so I'll have to remember to watch that!

Thanks again, Tigs xx

[creations]

Wow those A times were huge on that sleepy day!
First 1hr 30 - normal
Second 2hr 30
third 2hr 55 - and only a tiny nap of 10 mins on the bottle
fourth 1hr 30

I'm not really sure what to say - they are huge. A 6 month old does 3hrs A time!
If those A times had been followed by rubbish short naps, screaming OT baby and 10-20 min wake up throughout the naps and night I would not have been surprised at all. But they weren't, she slept well!

As you were out and about the next day it is not easy to see if those very long A times with the long naps (apart from the 10 min CN - I have no idea how she got through 2hr 55 and another 1hr 30 with only 10 min dozing!) had a negative effect the next day or if it was just because you were out and about. Both the long naps and the short ones the next day can be put down to something else rather than routine so perhaps for now just keep observing.
If you see a pattern of a "bad" day of short CNs following a "good" day of long naps then I'd suggest putting in more consistent A times and naps - when it's a one-off I'd also just let her sleep and feed on waking.

The other possibility is she is an Angel type and is going with the flow, taking long restful naps at home when she has the opportunity and managing to maintain good humour when she only has CNs during a shopping trip or busy play day.  Whilst you might feel you can't plan around her inconsistent routine perhaps she is actually adapting to your inconsistent routine (that's not a dig at you for going out, everyone has to shop, older kiddies need play dates etc, just saying it is not the consistency that some babies might demand)?  If this is the case then she's likely going to fit in very well with (almost) whatever you plan... if you make sure to book in some at home days for sleep catch ups.

For now I would just continue, record and observe.