Help needed with setting up times for naps

[Katrix]

Hi,
I have a 9mo and she has been on Easy since birth, if you can call it that in my case. The thing is her naps never became consistent and I really need to be able to plan my day. She doesn't wake at the same time every day and doesn't want to nap at the same time as well. Some days her pm nap will be so late it will interrupt her BT. I'm starting to loose hope.
Please give me some tips of what can I do make her schedule more predictable.
It's not funny anymore.

Cheers,
Kat

[lolsyb1982]

Hi there

What would be really helpful is if we could see a couple of days schedule posted in the EAS format (no matter what the times are) just so we can see what's going on and try to help you out.

So something like

Wake 7
Eat 8
Sleep 10 etc

I'm sure we can get her on a more consistent routine so don't give up hope!

[Katrix]

Thanks Lauren.
Here it goes:
5am wake and bf a bit, then keeps sleeping
7.30 wake up and bf
9.30-10 solids
11-12.30 nap
14.00 solids
16.30-17 nap
17 bf and/or solids
20.00 bed time routine and 20.30 in bed. Falls asleep right on.
Wakes at 1
Wakes at 3.30
Wakes at 6 and bf starts the next day

Or it might be

6.30 wake and bf
9.30-10 solids
10.30-11 nap
14 solids
15.30-16.10 nap
17  Bf and/or solids
7.30 bedtime routine
8.00 in bed sleeps well

Thats all very random really because every day is different and it would be insane to try and keep track, that's why I try and keep her feeds and bedtime under control. Everything else seems impossible to predict. When she wakes at night PU/pd doesn't work well when she wakes even more as she starts crying even harder and after an hour of trying I just give up. Sometimes just a pat on the back works sometimes she starts pushing my hand.
I am a bit discouraged and really tired.

Kat

[lolsyb1982]

Its quite normal for them to wake at a different time each morning but you would apply the same A time to whatever time wu is. Your A times vary, is this because you put her down at the same time and she fights it or do you just go by her cues?

I'm wondering if your LO is OT which is what's causing the NW. Does she settle independently for naps and BT?
From looking at the days you posted you get a good morning nap after 3.5hr A time so I would stick with that every day to see if it continues.
I think it's then the afternoon which is causing the problem. She has short naps and then a long A to bed.
So on that first day she had a 4hr A time which only gave you a 30min nap. Do you wake her or did she wake herself there? 30 min naps are usually OT so I would say you need to pull that back a bit. Try 3hr45 perhaps and see what happens. Hopefully that will give you a longer nap and then won't be such a long A to bed.

So ideally you want to aim for something like this:

Wu 7.30 (for example)
A 3.5hrs
Nap 11-12.30
A 3.45
Nap 4.15-5
A 3
BT 8

Obviously some of this will be trial and error until you find what A times work best but you could use this as a starting point.

what do you think about trying this?

[Katrix]

Hi Lauren,

I try to put her at the same time but she fights it so finally she falls asleep at random times, sometimes in the stroller or in the car.
She settles by herself for her naps and BT, lately more and more independently. We have some evenings when she has hard times and just pushes me and kicks for 1.5 h. before falling asleep.
I have been puting her down after approximately 3h until a month ago and it worked sometimes and didn't others. The thing is that it's never consistent because as you suggested I am led by her wake up time and it is never the same. What I am hoping for is a more predictable schedule because otherwise I can't plan anything, not even for the next day.

I was hoping for some tips on how to tune up her biological clock to take her naps around the same times every day.
I just read about all these other babies who sleep at the same time every day and I wonder how's it done.

Thanks,
Kat

[lolsyb1982]

If her morning wu time varies greatly each day (so by more than 30mins or so) then you would have to wake her at the same time each morning so that your nap would then always be at the same time.

When babies are a little older (around age 1 and usually on 1 nap) it's quite common to set a nap and bedtime regardless of what time they woke etc as by then they can handle the OT better.

[Katrix]

Thanks Lauren,

I tried this and after a while I gave up because it meant I have to wake up at 5.30-6 every day after waking up 2-3 times a night so I just couldn't handle it. It's easy to let yourself sleep till 8 whenever you can:)
So you think that her random naps are the only reason she won't sleep thought the night.
K

[Scottishmummy]

Hi there!

It's pretty typical as Lauren says to have different wake up times and nap times still at this age...to be honest my DS is 3 and his wake up times vary but we were able to do set naps and BT from around 1year old.

There are so many changes at this age that even a set routine often keeps changing every few weeks but it is possible to get a bit more predictable ...

For example I see you usually have 1 short and 1 long nap. That's typical at this age and it can help to decide whether you want to aim for the long nap in the morning or the afternoon.  Then a bit of trial and error to work out what A times give you this combination.

So, for example, if you find you get a long morning nap after 3hr30, you would try to do that A time regardless of wake time and get a long first nap, then a shorter nap in the afternoon, waking if you need to  so you can keep BT at the time you want it (8?)  Or you wake from the first nap so you can try for a longer 2nd nap.

The times still vary a bit but it gives you a bit more predictability at least as you know roughly when you will want to be at home for the long nap.

[Katrix]

Thanks a lot for all your help.
I'll keep trying.
K