Author Topic: 9mo still needs help to sleep  (Read 1118 times)

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Offline N_Mom_S

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9mo still needs help to sleep
« on: August 31, 2016, 10:33:01 am »
Hi everyone! My 9mo had a good period of independet sleep (most of the times, not always) and since sleeping and NWs got worse due to teething and developmental changes, he's not able to go to sleep independently anymore, only when he's super tired (but not too much) and he goes straight to sleep as soon as DH puts him in the crib (it doesn't work with me). He cries and cries until we go and lay our hand on his back and stroke his hair. Sometimes even that doesn't work and we have to pick him up, but that's usually when he's OT. We usually stay in the room with him until he falls asleep, although I think he gets as mad both ways. There's usually some amount of crying even if we lay our hand on him from the beginning. I don't think it's a schedule problem, we're getting much better regarding EW, fixed BT and naps, but I'll post our EASY anyway.

My question is, should I use walk in/walk out? Should I do anything differently? We used to do shh pat when he was younger but now I've tried again and it only makes it worse.

Our EASY on a good day with little cry:

WU 8:05   
E 8:55   
A 3h 25m   
S 11:30-12:45   /1h 15m   
E 14:40   
A 3h 55m   
S 16:40-17:55   /1h 15m   (tried 16:00 but he was UT, cry)
E 18:10, 20:30   
A 3h 5m   
BT 21:00   

NW E00:30, E5:35


Any advice will be appreciated!!!  :)



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Re: 9mo still needs help to sleep
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2016, 21:36:22 pm »
Sorry you didn't get any support yet.  Giving your thread a bump to bring it up the page and hopefully someone will be along soon.


Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: 9mo still needs help to sleep
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2016, 13:18:15 pm »
Hi again!  :)

Sorry it's taken so long for you to have any replies....

Could be the 9mo sleep regression..my DD was similar at the same age, suddenly refusing to go to sleep without our help, despite previously being an IS.

I did stay with her and even lie on her floor for a while & it worked while she went through the regression or separation anxiety or whatever it was..but after a week or so it stopped settling her and started feeling like I was distracting her. Then we did WI/WO and it worked well.

Xxx

"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline N_Mom_S

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Re: 9mo still needs help to sleep
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2016, 15:16:25 pm »
Thanks for your answer!!  :)

Now it's only me, DH puts him down like a charm, but he's going to start working so I'm going to have to deal with it  :( I guess it's separation anxiety? That, or I'm doing something terribly wrong, but I do the routine the same way DH does. Right now I can't do WI/WO because I can't soothe him, today he cried himself to sleep with me there, trying with my hand, stroking his hair... nothing. I think the timing was perfect so I still don't think that's the issue.

Should I just wait it out or should I try PU/PD (I'm quite scared of that one)?



Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: 9mo still needs help to sleep
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2016, 18:32:09 pm »
If you can't soothe him in the cot, I'd try PU/PD combined with gradual withdrawal- there's a good link here of how to do it and age adaptations for it for older babies which describes that : How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations)

Don't be scared! It is actually more supportive to the baby than WI/WO...it's just my DD actually cried more if I picked her up.

It is very unlikely to be anything you are doing "wrong", just a tricky stage this sleep regression. My DD often settles quicker and easier for my DH than for me, especially at 5am wake ups which pleases me but not him!

Xxx
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline N_Mom_S

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Re: 9mo still needs help to sleep
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2016, 19:22:30 pm »
Thank you!!!! I'm happy to see that's more or less what I've been doing, putting him back down when he pulls up and trying to soothe him. Bedtime was better today, fingers crossed!

I'm a bit confused about this part: "At this age you may need to pair pu/pd with gradual leaving of the room.  First you stay in the room until asleep, then move a few feet from the crib, in a few days you move to the door, then out the door."

I put him down, then sit on a chair farther from the crib and if he pulls up I put him down again and go back to the chair? Or once I move to the chair I don't put him down when he pulls up?



Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: 9mo still needs help to sleep
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2016, 19:39:28 pm »
I think you would still continue to go to him but from the chair & then go back to the chair again, rather than stand right beside the crib the whole time,  if that makes sense?
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline N_Mom_S

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Re: 9mo still needs help to sleep
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2016, 07:41:25 am »
I think so, and should I soothe him with my hands until he calms down or should I just put him down and go to the chair (he'll be crying)?



Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: 9mo still needs help to sleep
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2016, 14:05:46 pm »
Hmm I'm not sure, ideally you would go to the chair once he's calm (soothing with hands and phrase/sh if possible) although he might cry when you step back but you would wait, see if he calms and then go back to him if not.

Will he calm at all in the cot? If not, would he calm if you picked him up briefly then put him down again?
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline N_Mom_S

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Re: 9mo still needs help to sleep
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2016, 06:50:18 am »
Many times he does calm down in the cot eventually, it depends on the day. If I see he's desperate I sometimes pick him up and try to calm him briefly, but it usually takes a while.

I'll keep trying your suggestions, thank you so much!  ;)