Eliminate the night feedings cold shoulder - 9 months - Your experiences

[Palmira78]

Hello! That night with only the 2 NW was just a one off... Since then, my LO is waking 4/6 times per night. I am exhausted and my health is suffering from it. Yesterday I started with conjunctivitis and today mastitis. My body is trying to tell me something, I do need a rest but I do not know how.
My LOs has had a cold for the last days and also his front teeth are about to break. I did medicate with a painkiller for babies in order to get him some relief but it really has not made any difference from my perspective. At bed time he falls asleep easily, but his issue is that he wakes so often (and I do not know why). The longest sleep stretch non stop is 3 hours (normally at the beginning), and then he is waking every 2 hours maximum :-(

He has recently started crawling so perhaps this NWs are something developmental... The thing is that he seems a happy baby during the day, not cranky at all.

I always try to re-settle without feeding him (I try for 20 minutes) and occasionally I manage to do so but very often it is just not possible. Once he starts eating when I see that he eats more slowly, I put him back in bed (the BF takes around 7 or 10 minutes, only 1 breast). I do not wait for him to be fully sleep. The thing is that if he is really hungry he still may be hungry shorter afterwards, but by the other hand I do not want him to eat a lot. When we were on vacation that he only woke up once per night, I did feed him for a long time both breasts... Do you think that I should try to nurse him longer? Or to stop nursing?

Regarding day that he slept better, the only "change" in his routine was that he ate very well in the kindergarten and slept a 2 hours non-stop nap (better than usual). At home the routine is identical everyday (and identical to back to 6 months when he woke just 2 per night). I am very methodical, but I am desperate now since nothing is working (and I am not feeling well). I am pasting anyway his EASY from that day when he "only" woke up twice, where the only change I see was the quantity in lunch + the extra bottle in the morning + the better naps.
6:50 WU and BF
9:00 FF in the kindergarten (following your advice to get him more food during the day)
9:15-10:00 Nap (they follow the baby's cues)
11:30 Lunch - ate well
12:45-14:30 Nap
15:30 BF at home
16:00 -16:30 Nap
18:00 Solids and BF
19:45 BF
20:00 BT

Your comments are very welcomed :-)

[*Ali*]

What's his normal routine, nap wise?  I'd have expected him to have dropped the cat nap by now. That's normally done around 5-7mo. He could be undertired if he normally gets so much sleep.


Can you remind us how he is falling asleep for naps? It sounds like a prop issue at night which could possibly be helped by getting him to go down completely independently in the day.

[FPT23]

I'm so sorry!! Sounds super difficult! Many hugs your way and well wishes. Tough times but soon this will pass! Very sorry to hear about it all xoxoxoxoxoxo!!

I do agree with  Ali!

By this time baby should be down to something like 2 naps... maybe too much day sleep can be causing UT! Have you considered to PD earlier? I know it sounds scary but it tends to work more often than not

You also mentioned Mastitis....what's going on with nursing? Maybe he's not getting enough milk or it tastes differently having this?  Or what's the reason---? I assume baby can latch well by now? That can be a good reason for so much NWing. Maybe he is in fact hungry for one reason or another?

Xo

[Palmira78]

Thanks a lot for your comments! They are very much appreciated.

In response to Ali: The 2 main naps take place in the kindergarten and I have no control over them whatsoever. More or less they are as follows:
At 9.00-9:45, and from 13:00-14:30. The key issue is that from 14:00 or 14:30 to 20:00 sometimes is way too long without a cat nap. I know that the first nap is too early and the second too close afterwards, but as I said this is something I have no control at all. They put the baby to sleep following his cues, but also they encourage sleeping from 13:00 to 15:00 with low lights since that is the "official" nap quiet time for everyone in the kindergarten. For the naps I place / they place my LO with the pacifier on and he happily falls asleep. You do not need to do him anything. Sometimes he likes (at home) that I stay near by.

In response to FPT23: I have change nothing with nursing so it was a surprise that a mastitis happened to me, with my second son and after 9 months of nursing without any issues..... I really think that this is more related to my exhaustion than anything else. Thankfully I am feeling much better now, thanks to the antibiotics and to the last 2 nights that have been much better. By the way, many thanks for the well wishes!

Today I am actually quite hopeful since last night I managed to resettle my LO without nursing and I had less NW. The first NW was at 12:00, the second was caused by his brother that woke him up (he had to get up to pee and called us) at 2:00 but I managed to re-settle my DS2 after 30 minutes shh, stroking him and holding his hands still, and third one at 5:00. Last night and the previous night I have "only" nursed him twice, every 4 hours, which is for my situation a great success taking into account the previous days.

I must say that for the previous days my LO had a cold so his own cough also was (?)responsible for some of the NWs.
Anyway, my plan now is to make sure I limit the amount of nursing so I get graduall7y to eliminate the NFs. I think the easiest will be one at a time... but not sure yet. What are your thoughts?

[FPT23]

Glad your getting better nights and I hope you do get 100% well soon

I think 1 NF is still ok so keep that in mind. pretty normal I feel!

One NW at a time sounds well but do keep in mind that daytime routine and the OT part. Sometimes simply tweaking the routine removes the NWs and end up doing less at the NWs.

Happy to hear about the resettling! Your well on your way

[Palmira78]

Hey there! Our improvement was very short lived...
Tonight it has been terrible. My LO from 12:00 onwards, almost woke up every hour. I did try to re-settle without nursing several times. I also tried giving him some ibuprofen since I saw that he was biting his hand... In the end I gave in and I did nurse most of the times to aim for some sleep. Then when we woke up and got ready for the day, my LO was happy smiley, playful, no signals of the night discomfort...

As I mentioned in my previous posts I have little space for action regarding his naps since he spends 7 hours in the kindergarten. However today I have asked them to try to delay his "main nap" in order to ensure that it finishes later (from 13:00 to 15:00) and then I will only get a 5 hours of activity time until BT. By the way I am doing lately 7:30 BT when I see him OT and I avoid the catnap. Also another change that I have introduced is to give him some cereals and oatmeal before bedtime, to see if he improves...
His current EASY is as follows:
E 7:00 BF
E 8:30 FF
S 9:15-10:15
E 11:30 Lunch with solids
S 12:45-14:15
E 15:30 BF & solids
E 18:00 BF
E 19:30 Solids & BF
S 20:00
Any suggestions?

[Lindsay27]

I think moving that main nap is essential, it will shift her day back and even out the A times so there isn't such a big stretch to BT which is likely contributing to some OT (and likely NW from OT). 

[FPT23]

Hi! Yes I think the suggestion to the kinder was great and hopefully it works out better! It should! I would bring BT earlier also and he may surprise you

I would even try 7pm... or asleep by 7pm

Yk, having solids too close to BT can be a trial and error deal too. Personally I never do solids right before BT... just because I wonder if it wouldn't settle well and disturb instead at night with tummy troubles or running the chance of a poo diaper too. Let me know how it works though! It might just help!

[Palmira78]

Thanks a lot for your comments. I do believe that delaying the main nap helps at least to have the baby happier during the evening. I am going to try even 7 pm for Bt as you suggested.
In any case I must say that during the weekends I have changed the timing for the naps, however I have not noticed too much difference regarding the NW.
By the way, an update regarding the latest nights: Ds2 is teething, his upper teeth have come up so that explains part of the discomfort.
Another update: since Friday my DH slept in the same room in order to soothe him during the NW and to let me sleep. As you can imagine I did not breastfed him during the night and we did not feed him at all. It was amazing. I was able to SLEEP. And the baby returned to sleep without any big drama after my DS stroking his hands or taking him into his arms. We were expecting screening and crying, but it did not happen. It just took him a little bit longer to get back to sleep. DH demonstrated that DS2 is able to not eat during the night. We still have to get up, but this is something that we can share. I will explain more in detail in a different post. We understand that the NW will not go anytime soon but at least I am a better person now that I have slept decently for a couple of nights.
Let's se how it goes tonight!

[FPT23]

So happy about the rest you got! Makes a world of difference!

You know it is common with BF babies that dad is better at soothing or help during STing. Babies smell mom and moms milk so all they want is that comfort! Perhaps if hubby is still on board give this a try for a good week and see if it helps any?

Best of luck hope things get better with the small changes!

[Palmira78]

We decided that the first 2 nights (during the weekend) without food were for my husband, in order to get the LO used to it.
Last night, it was my turn, and I did get up for my DS2 NW. I managed to soothe him without breastfeeding. I feel super happy about it. He woke up at 12, 2.30 and 6.00, not more often than when I used to nurse him. And the good thing is that tonight will be again my husband's turn! :-) Sleep night for me :-)

Now our mission should be to improve as much as possible my DS2 routines so the NWs reduce. I agree with you that lots of solids right before BT are not ideal, so I am trying to give them around 1.5 h before, then right before bed I only breastfeed him. By the way, you mentioned about the poo diaper... Since my DS2 was born we never change diapers during the night, and he is ok with that (unless the poo gets out of the diaper). We put plenty of cream to protect the skin, before we put him to bed. That was a lesson learnt from my DS1. With a spirited baby changing diapers during the night totally awakes them, at least this was our experience.

Today, if my DS2 seems very tired earlier I will put him to sleep earlier. Lets see how it goes... Thanks a lot for all your good advice :-)

[FPT23]

Well I'm glad you are getting much more rest and YAY for DH help more sleeeeeep for you! I'm happy you are resettling without BF and he's ok! So now we know, he doesn't need that many NFs ...Thad always good. So now you can focus on some sleep training and helping him gently to not need to wake as much anymore. The day is closer than you think! Many positive vibes and I hope the day routine makes a difference soon too! It normally does your doing wonderfully!

No I agree about the changing diapers at night! We don't either unless he poos too. What I mean is it can cause a blowout haha and then you may need to hehehe ! But 1.5 before BT is a great plan in that case

Let us know how it went for you!