Newborn won't sleep in cot

[sophsk22]

Hi,

I know it's really early days, but we're really struggling to get our ten day old daughter to sleep in her cot. She's pretty sleepy generally and I have to battle to get her to stay awake during her feeds, she just wants to sleep as soon as she's snuggled up feeding. Lay her down and she pops awake. We've been trying shush patting but with little success. She'll be about to drift off but always wakes up. It's getting exhausting, it was 2am last night before she actually stayed asleep in her own cot, and that was only until 4.20. I feel like a dummy would help as she definitely wants to just suckle, but I'm reluctant to introduce one until she's a better feeder.

I feel like it's a viscous circle, she just won't go to sleep in her cot and so after an hour of shushing and patting with no success I realise that she's probably starting to get hungry Sharon so end up feeding her. She'll also obviously be really overtired so very difficult to get her to sleep after the feed in any way other than letting her stay asleep during the feed.

Any advice is welcome. We've also got a toddler so we're getting pretty exhausted. We do swaddle her, which seemed better for a night, but then right back to square one.

Thanks,

[michaeljacknnugg]

She's really tiny still, and getting used to being 'earthside'. Some babies also do need a lot of help to feel secure. Use anything you need to use in order to get her to sleep/to stay asleep, and worry about habits once she's a few months older.

We ended up coalescing as my DS2 just couldn't stay asleep in his own. It's something I never expected to do, but I loved it and will keep it in a special place in my memory. I felt way more rested with him next to me as I didn't jump at every little noise.

[Shiv52]

Honestly at 10 days Id hold to sleep and then settle. An hour of ssh pat is a lot for all involved.

Hugs x

[sophsk22]

Hi both,

Thanks for your replies. I would agree with you both, the problem is that even even we do that she wakes up as soon as we then put her in her cot. Even when we think we've waited a really long time until she's definitely fast asleep.

[Lindsay27]

How is BF going? I don't have much BF experience unfortunately but I know it said you think that a paci will help...I'm wondering if it's worth a try?

[sophsk22]

Bf was off to a difficult start but we're getting there now (she had a tongue tie so was struggling to latch until she had it cut a couple of days ago). I think it's probably worth trying it, I just don't want to set breastfeeding back. She sometimes finds her fingers ok and that always settles her so I do feel like it would help, it's just the risk of it impacting breastfeeding at this point that makes me hesitant.

[Shiv52]

At 10 days she's still helping you establish your milk supply. it will likely feel like she's feeding all the time. I definitely felt we turned a corner at 3 weeks. My DD3 struggled with wind those first few weeks and inclining where she slept definitely helped that.

Hugs I know it's exhausting. We were just talking at school today about how you're all great until you hit day 9/10 with a newborn and then you feel like you've been hit by a bus xxx

[Shiv52]

Posted with you. Did you get the tongue the snipped?

[sophsk22]

Thanks :-).  Yes, the tongue tie has been snipped, which has definitely helped on the feeding front. I'd be fine with going with the flow at this stage if only she'd stay asleep once we put her down. Even accidental parenting isn't working for us ;-).

[Shiv52]

Awh hugs xx

Do you think wind is bothering her? With my DD3 the second we put her down she woke as wind seemed to bother her. Having her sleeping at an incline helped for sure.

How's her latch etc now? We'd some issues this time round so I didn't use a dummy until about 6 weeks but with my DD2 she was such a sucky baby and I was determined not to be a human dummy like with my DD1 that she had a dummy from about 2 weeks and it really helped settle her. But BFing was going well.

I know it's trite but do try to get sleep any time you can xx

[sophsk22]

I don't think wind bothers her. I guess could be some silent reflux but don't think so, I think she just wants the warmth and security of someone's arms. Can't really blame her for that. She wakes up and complains as soon as she's in the cot, it's only occasionally that we can make the transition without her noticing.

She's feeding ok, but she needs to do better really, she hasn't put any of the weight she lost back on yet so think I need to wait to try the dummy.

[Shiv52]

I'd say you're right. She just likes the warmth and comfort and it really will help milk supply in the longer term. My friend used to warm the mattress slightly with a hot water bottle so her LO didn't notice going from snuggle warm arms to a cold mattress.  Wonder woukd that help?

My DD3 was slow to put back on birth weight. It took 3 weeks but my MWs were so supportive. When we got her tongue tie snipped inspent a couple of days doing skin to skin and just feeding feeding feeding and it really helped.   

You're doing great. I found 3/4 weeks hard and then things settled a lot xx

[ireneasheard]

My son also had a tongue tie which we had snipped at 3 weeks old. This improved his feeding. We did not introduce a paci for the reason you specified as I didn't want any confusion plus he was feeding enough so that he was getting the sucking time. Plus he rejected it when I did offer it so I was sure that he didn't need it. The first 3 weeks was pretty full on but things definitely improved. I just ensured we did a wind down routine, cuddles, made sure that wind down was there so that he understood that it is time to sleep. At night I just fed him - he was still so little. Things definitely settled after 4 weeks and into a bit of a rhythm so improvement in sleep times etc came along with that. I then started to not feed to sleep, I was more hands on and settling and patting (although to this day my son hates the shhh so I put on background music that sounded like a gurgly womb that he seemed to like). Hope this helps, you are doing a great job xx

[sophsk22]

Thanks for the replies. I think we probably just need to be patient and wait to try and set the routines and get her to settle herself in the cot. One thing at a time I think, so focusing on getting her weight back up for now and going the dreaded route of feeding to sleep. I have found the last couple of nights that if I wait long enough I can put her down once she's in a deep sleep and she doesn't wake up. It makes for long awake time in the night by the time she's gast a slow feed but at least we avoid the crying this way,which definitely helps maintain our sanity!