22 months takes two hours to sleep. Help.

[Flowery1106]

Okay. I'm writing this as I sit on the floor outside the room waiting for my DD to fall a sleep and it's been 2 hours (as always).

I'm so exhausted. My DD is now 22 months. She's always been a good sleeper (was well sleep trained) till about 18 months. I moved her to a big bed for personal reason and from then on I stayed with her till she fall a sleep. It's been a half year so she got used to me laying down with her. What's even worse, it easily takes an hour for her to fall a sleep and sometimes it takes even longer.

So I decided to try walk in and out method. Following her usual comforting bedtime routine, I walked out of the room and my DD came out in 'seconds'. That was repeated for nearly 2 hours then she fall a sleep. Next day it was about the same, as soon as i leave she comes out so I put her down to bed. On the third day, the nap only took 15 mins but at night it took 2 hours. On the fourth day, it took nearly 2 hours for day and night. On the Fifth day, I was repeating the same thing for an hour and I knew I wasn't making any progress so I eventually got mad and kind of shouted and stared at her standing by the door. She stopped crying and stayed in bed and fall a sleep in 20 mins. I thought oh this seems effective let's try this again. That night I remained calm and said I'd sit by the door and it only took 40 mins for her to sleep. So i did this not-so-gradual-transition method a few times more which seemed to be working. Today I did the same but I sat right outside the door with the door open it took more than 2 hours and I got mad again. It was my 6th day and not making any progress. I have 5 months old baby crying for feed and sleep 24/7 and this is driving me mad.

I ended up smacking her butt for the first time in my entire life and I felt so bad!!! She did cry a bit but didn't seem so bothered. I feel so bad.. I don't know what to do anymore.....

My questions are
1. She cries as soon as I put her down to bed and she gets out of bed. When she sees me at the door she stops crying. Is this seperation anxiety? She didn't cry the first two days though.

2. Early waking problems. There were few night wakings before this sleep training. But now she starts waking at 5ish and wants to start the day. What should I do?

3. Shoud I carry on with gradual withdrawal method or stick to the walk in/out method??

I'm sure I had more questions but can't think of any. My brain's stopped working.
 Please help. I'm so desperate!!!
 U

[jessmum46]

Huge, it is just so frustrating sometimes when they won't sleep   I wonder, could you post her typical routine for us with what time and how long she naps?  Given she takes a long time to settle even with you there I'm wondering perhaps if her nap is too long or too late and making this harder on you than it would be otherwise?  If she has previously been an independent sleeper then you can use either method, but given she settled best with you next to the door I wonder if just taking it slightly slower with GW may suit her best? What's your instinct?

[Flowery1106]

Thank you, Katherine!!

This is her usual routine.
6:00am- 7:00 wake up
7:30 am breakfast
Anytime between 11:00 am- 1:00pm nap for 2 hours
6:00pm dinner
Starts anytime around 6:40pm-7:20 pm bedtime routine
(bath, story, brushing teeth, massage, lullaby) (usually for 30 min)
7:10pm -8:00 sleep (used to take an hour to sleep before gw)

Yes she used to be a great independent sleeper since 2 months till 18 months.
I think gw method suits her better as she fusses less and takes shorter to fall asleep.
What are your thoughts on her routine?
Thanks x

[jessmum46]

Did you notice any sort of difference in how quickly she settled at bedtime depending on what time her nap happened?  I'm wondering if she may be one who needs a shorter nap, my DD (if I remember correctly) needed hers cut to around 1.5 hours at about this age.  An hour to fall asleep sounds like quite a lot to me, some LOs do need wind-down time but I wonder if perhaps she just wasn't really tired enough?  What do you think?