Help! Newborn can't get himself to sleep. Running out of options....

[mrsginafrica]

Need some advice... I know it's early days BUT I'm slightly losing it over my newborn (2wks old) who will cry, nay scream, for at least an hour. I pretty much always give in to the boob as a) that seems the only thing that works and b) by the time I've tried everything else it's time for the next feed anyway... My first was a textbook baby so I am a beginner mummy all over again with this one!
He seems to go from tired to super overtired in about 10secs. Even if I swaddle, shh pat, put down, wrap up, rock, swing, lie down, hold etc nothing works. He's been fed, nappy changed, everything else is fine but he just cannot get himself to sleep. It's not all the time... Some days it's just once  a day. Yesterday was x4 episodes (we had visitors throughout the day so clearly any kind of additional stimulation is an immediate overkill). But even in the night with lights off, quiet, white noise, close to me etc. He still can't settle.

What do I do!?!?!!! Is this just a newborn phase or do I have a touchy/spirited baby which needs a whole different approach. I can't just keep putting him on the boob - my nipples are so sore!!

Appreciate any advice - and success stories, even better!!

[Lindsay27]

Just quickly because I'm running off to an appointment, but wondering if you've tried a paci? Some babies just need the sucking comfort, both of mine needed one.

[mrsginafrica]

Yes have tried! He takes it occasionally but also hates it and pushes it out with his hands!! It's worked about 1/5 times

[ireneasheard]

Hi there.

At 2 weeks old I was still feeding my little one to sleep and for comfort at times. If you have sore nipples I would advise checking your latch or seeking advice from a lactation consultant if you need some assistance? My boy had tongue tie and once that was resolved the feeds were much easier.
With regard to putting to bed... babies cry. People expect that. I kept a really close eye on the clock and first yawn I'd be starting to get him into bed. Even if he didn't I would start moving to his room to put him to bed. Only started doing this and we still fed to sleep, he was only little still. My first was a textbook baby too and this one is touchy so once a meltdown happened he would really lose it. He's much better now but once he's had enough he lets me know quite quickly!

Hope this helps. My boy also hated paci so I had to get him yo bed quite quickly. I also let him be held to sleep at this stage, sometimes I found it was easier to hold him and put him inyo bed rather than getting worked up and having negative association with sleep and his room.

[Katet]

At 2 weeks old & BF, honestly I'd just keep feeding. His stomach is only the size of his fist & your milk is still not totally established so he could need to feed as much as 12 times a day, so it isn't unreasonable for him to sleep for an hour & need a feed, sleep for an hour etc. Honestly if it's been more than 30mins since the last feed it's worth seeing if a feed works.

My DH is now employed (in Finance)  by the biggest organisation in my State for Baby needs (they have call centres, hospital stays to help with sleep & feeding. Anyway last week I went to a Charity function & met a number of the nurses that work there & got a huge run down on what the up to date research is.  first 2 suggestions they always give is 1) feed, at under 6 weeks in a BF baby there really is no 'time' for feeds other than baby crying - because of establishing milk 2) quiet & dark with 70 pats minute (match mother's heart beat)

[michaeljacknnugg]

I had a non-settler, too. I suspect he is both very spirited and LSN. Feeding, yes - and get support with latch and positioning if you're sore - but also having him close all.the.time. For us that meant a lot of time in the sling.

[mrsginafrica]

Thanks for advice. Sounds like I may be expecting too much too soon - and also have more of a touchy/spirited baby who doesn't behave like my textbook did!

5wks on now and ergo baby works a treat to get him to sleep. Just loves being held and kept moving. Still feeds frequently and gets overtired extremely quickly and definitely needs white noise, movement and blocking out visual stimuli as looks around at everything!

Also has an reflux issues so I'm still struggling it's putting him down at night as on the back is worst position for the poor kid, but doc prescribed nexium (just started two days ago) which seems to be helping with the pain of the acid reflex and giving him a few more moments of calm during the sad I'd hardly spent any time just talking and smiling with him as my entire time is feeding or trying to get him to sleep and being generally sleep deprived (no more than two hours in a row for me).

So sounds like I've just got to feed without trying about the clock, hold him a lot and get through a few more weeks before trying to establish any kind of EASY routine, right?!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Yes, feed without worrying about the time. You're still establishing supply, and every baby is different in how much they need to eat. My first was a big boy but somehow ate less often (and less solids!) than his brother does. This guy could barely make it 2.5hrs between feeds at first.

Just go with an EAS pattern for now. The rest will emerge in time. If you find you need to keep moving to keep him asleep (I did, for a good while), then sitting on the birth/yoga ball with him in the sling can make you more comfortable.

[malibu_nikkus]

Hey there.  I've got a 7 week old and I've been there, done at, doing that...As others mentioned, at that age I was absolutely joust feeding to sleep most of the time.  But, after baby wakes, nappy change and feed. Are you keeping him up? Right now, the feed and nappy change is plenty of stimulation.  After that, it's wrap and bed.  I pretty much kept him in our room for the first month or so until I was confident he could handle the stimulation.  White noise also works wonders for these babies too.  I'm also trialling the Happiest Baby on the Block stuff.  If I were you, I'd be swaddling baby's arms down so that he can't get the paci out.  These se
sensitive babies have a strong reflex thing and their flailing arms wake them constantly. Since I've been following the Happiest Baby.. steps, he is asleep within seconds, in the cot, barely any patting needed. I'm now struggling to get him past the 45min mark, but baby steps for us.  My little guy also has reflux due to food allergies, so watching what I eat helps to control that so he isn't projectile vomiting everywhere.  I'm assuming your baby is probably just ultra sensitive and overtired.  Once you get that sorted, I'm sure all will be fine, but these babies are HARD work! If not, you may want to explore foods you are eating to make sure they aren't upsetting his tummy. Dairy and soy are usually the main culprits, like in our house with the addition of gluten 😳.  Good luck, I feel your pain and exhaustion. It's tough!

[mrsginafrica]

Thanks all. Have posted again to try and figure out a plan for sleep specifically as I'm so exhausted now I need a plan. Will also try eliminating caffeine but right now that's my coping mechanism - coffee and chocolate! Feeling a little bit over desperate at things to improve.

[Katet]

Thanks all. Have posted again to try and figure out a plan for sleep specifically as I'm so exhausted now I need a plan. Will also try eliminating caffeine but right now that's my coping mechanism - coffee and chocolate! Feeling a little bit over desperate at things to improve.

Be mindful that they change so much in the first 6months and it is exhausting and sometimes the best plans have nothing to do with how you work with your child's sleep but how you will let go with some of the other things that maybe aren't as important as we make them. Sometimes babies just aren't capable of sleeping more than 1-2 hours at a time even if 95% do, there are the 5% who don't that we as parents are made to feel we need to do things "better" with. I know a mother of 7 & she says she's parented every single one differently because of so many different factors her number 7 is her best sleeper yet & she laughs because she's the one that has no routine & she swears it's because she is very relaxed. I have to say I'd agree, the more anxious you get & the more you feel you need to get it right, the more your DD will pick up on that stress & in a smaller body, it's going to impact more.

with a value of BTDT, first thing I'd do in a plan would be suggest you look at the top 10 things you can let go of (that have nothing to do with baby sleep) that mean you can relax more & you may find that you get an improvement just from that alone.

[michaeljacknnugg]

I'd agree with Kate. This baby is a worse sleeper than my first but I'm getting more rest....go figure!

Hold him if he needs it, feed him if that's the only thing that works. Try to figure out his preferred A time and then work with that. My first would nap for ages and not sleep very long at night, whereas this guy prefers very little day sleep and a longer night. They're all so different, and they all take a while to figure out.