Author Topic: PU/PD - when to pick up and when to settle in cot  (Read 876 times)

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Offline mummytodaniel

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PU/PD - when to pick up and when to settle in cot
« on: September 15, 2016, 21:51:33 pm »
I’m on day 4 of PU/PD and feeling a bit confused and unsure of myself. Posted on here a couple of months ago and got some great advice so I’m back again!

LO is 6.5 months old and has always been rocked to sleep. I’m returning to work in 6 weeks so knew I had to break this habit. Decided on PU/PD as CIO is definitely not for me, and I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere with gradual withdrawal.

Day 1 – first nap was awful, took 74 PU/D and 2 hours before he passed through the tiredness and came out the other side, and was wide awake again. Tried again for 2nd nap, poor thing must have been exhausted, asleep within 5mins. Bedtime, took half an hour. Great.

Day 2 – seemed to be getting the hang of it, wasn’t taking too long and crying wasn’t too bad.

Day 3 – first nap, great. Second nap, awful. Bedtime, great.

Day 4 – naps and bedtime awful. He is getting so upset, I can’t bear it. I have never left him to cry, even for a minute, so I’m finding it really tough. Bedtime took about an hour, until I put white noise next to his ear then he fell asleep straight away. I don’t really know whether I should be picking him up or just trying to settle him in his cot. Picking him up settles him but as soon as I put him down he is so upset, I wonder if it’s just making him worse. I do try settling him in between PU by resting my hand on his chest and sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm just unsure what to do, so when I just do the hand and shushing, but he doesn't seem to be settling I feel really bad for him and start PU/PD for a while. Then when he gets so upset every time I put him down, I end up thinking ok this is making him worse and go back to just hand and shushing in his cot. I know I need to pick one and stick to it... I just don't know which one! Should I persevere with PU/PD or just leave him in the cot unless he gets totally hysterical?

If it makes a difference, his cries today are like REALLY LOUD deafening yelling cries, but there are tears. Any advice welcome! :)

Offline jessmum46

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Re: PU/PD - when to pick up and when to settle in cot
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2016, 06:03:15 am »
Hugs, it can be tough and day 4-5 is common for a regression.  It may be just that and a case of seeing it through, but equally it could be your routine isn't quite right and needs some adjusting to make life easier on you all.  Could you post it?

With PUPD at this age I would only pick up when he is really upset, and hold only for a very short time - How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations) if picking up angers him more than shh and a hand though I would stick with the shh, really only picking up if things are really escalating.

The link is quite helpful if you haven't read it before but do let me know if you have more questions x

Offline mummytodaniel

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Re: PU/PD - when to pick up and when to settle in cot
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2016, 10:18:18 am »
Hi,

Thanks for replying  :) I was wondering if it was a bit of a regression and if I just needed to persevere and see it through.

His routine can vary depending on whether he has a long nap in the afternoon. He has always had short naps (45 mins), and I've tried to extend them by wake to sleep but he just wakes up fully. However he generally wakes up happy and seems well rested so I didn't want to make a huge issue of it. He's started taking much longer naps from time to time (up to 2 hours), so sometimes he'll have 2 naps a day, sometimes 3. I also BF him before each sleep, as I tried to implement an EASY routine a few months back but it took forever to get him to settle down for a nap, so I tried feeding before naps (although not feeding to sleep) and it became much easier as he's really settled after a feed, so I carried on.

I'm now wondering if I should try a different approach to the standard PU/PD. I know it's supposed to be a fairly gentle method and I'm sure for many people it is, but it doesn't feel gentle in our case. I know he's not in pain or afraid and just wants to be held, but I can't blame him as that's what I've always done. It just goes against all my natural instincts as a mother to sit next to his cot and watch him screaming, but when I do pick him up and put him down he just gets irate.

My next idea is to do a sort of gentler version of PU/PD - hold him until really drowsy, put him down in his cot, if he cries on the way down lift him straight back up again, repeat repeat repeat (probably 200 times!). I know I'm supposed to still put him down even if he cries on the way down, but this seems to overstimulate him and I think I need to try to prevent him getting to the really upset stage. I know it will be exhausting and i'll need the patience of a saint but I just can't bear to see him so upset. If it doesn't work then maybe I'll have to reconsider doing it the 'proper' way.

Sorry for the rant and thanks for your help :) Who knew a baby's sleep could be so stressful!!! x

Offline jessmum46

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Re: PU/PD - when to pick up and when to settle in cot
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2016, 13:04:45 pm »
Hugs, it IS stressful!!  (This forum wouldn't exist if it was easy...)

Number one I would say trust your instincts, never try and do something you are not comfortable with as it's very difficult to see anything through if your heart is not in it.  You know your baby best and if you feel a gradual approach will work better, then go for it :)  Here to support whatever you decide on x