New baby and 22 month old refusing to fall asleep independently

[Cemlyn]

Our 22month old has recently become a big brother to a 12 day old baby. He is generally very good with his little brother and we haven't really had any issues with welcoming our new arrival to family life. No problems apart from bedtime... our toddler point blank refuses to settle and fall asleep without the presence of either myself or my husband and wakes several times during the night, when the whole cycle start again. Coupled with the feeding duties for the new baby, my husband and I are really struggling with the lack of sleep and our toddlers reliance on our presence. Any advice greatfully received!

He was previously such a good sleeper and would settle himself to sleep. There has been no change in his bedtime routine and he even indicates to us as the routine is coming to an end that he wants to go to bed. But when we place him in his cot and attempt to leave the room he becomes inconsolable until one of us returns to his room. Please help! Xx

[Katet]

Did he spend time with someone else for his bedtime when you had the baby. I know that my DS1 (22months between my 2) struggled with the nights that I wasn't there after DS2 was born & it took a couple of weeks for DS1 settle down.

[Cemlyn]

Hello Katet,
Thanks so much for your reply. Yes he did spend a little time with my mother whilst I was in hospital, but only the bare minimum. I didn't leave for the hospital until 11:30pm so we were home to put him to bed as usual and I was home with the new baby by 7pm the following evening. My mother spent the night at our house whilst I was in hospital so as not to disrupt him too much but I guess waking up to find us not there was enough of a disruption. May I ask how you got things back on track with your little one or was it just a matter of time? I really would appreciate any advice you may have.

Diolch!

Elen x

[Scottishmummy]

How's it going now?

The first few weeks of my DD's life are a blur but I also remember being up for both kids. It is a huge change for little one's to get used to. Time helps, consistent bedtime routines (even if it is a different one to what you did before the baby arrived as long as it stays the same now) and as much time together & positive attention in the day for your older one as you can manage.

Xxx