3.5 yo starts to wake

[marcat]

DD1 was a good sleeper since she was 4 mo. She had good sleep routine and fell asleep by herself, consistently slept through night, in her own bedroom. We moved 3 times since then, her sleeping place changed from crib, to toddler bed, to twin bed. She never had a problem, or transitioned quickly.
DD2 was born 4 months ago. DD1 had little hard feelings. Her sleep wasn't affected. DD1 started to go to a new preschool 3 months ago, Her sleep wasn't affected either. She isn't sick recently.
However, since about 1 week ago, DD1 started to come out of her room for us during the night. She normally sleeps 730pm-630/700am. The past week, she usually wakes around 1am, comes to us saying that she cannot find her lovey/she is not able to fall asleep/she wants to go potty (she has a potty in her room and she's been able to go herself since 6 months ago) and other various reasons.

I'm sleeping in DD2's room and most of the time it's DH who takes care of DD1 when she comes out. He first tried comforting her and sent her back to her bed. Then she came out twice instead of once. Now DH becomes angry and timeout DD1 when she comes out during the night. It doesn't work.

What might be the cause? What shall we do to stop it? DD1 has waken up DD2 and made everyone very tired the whole night. Please help~

[Scottishmummy]

Hi there!

That sounds very tiring, especially with a new baby who's up in the night too.

I'm not sure what the cause might be, could be half birthday disruption or maybe just a habit? Or looking for a bit of a parental top up after a lot of changes (even though fine with them at the time)?It's very frustrating but getting angry with her & doing time out won't be restful for anyone and is unlikely to change the habit.

Does she still nap in the day? Just wondering if she could be a bit UT?
Does she have a gro-clock or similar to reinforce the "still sleep time" message.

I have a 3.5 yo too and if we get night time shenanigans we try to respond as neutrally and with as little fuss as possible..so we would calmly repeat the phrase "it's sleep time" and calmly put him back to bed, repeatedly if necessary but with no other discussion or interaction until he goes back to sleep. Gradually he gets the message that there is no fun/interaction in the night and he now waits until the gro-clock tells him it's morning.

I'd also make sure she's getting as much mummy and daddy time as possible with a new baby in the day and especially at bedtime. Some people find "special time" a one to one in the afternoon/ early evening can help give her a "top up" if she is needing it so she's not looking for it in the night.

[marcat]

Thank you for listening and suggestions.
She doesn't take naps any more during the day. She's pretty sleepy around 7pm. After I fed DD2 just now, I found her almost asleep while watching TV not responding when I called her.
She has a gro-clock, but she thinks she has good reasons to come to my room: she cannot find her lovey, she wants to go to potty in our bathroom, she cannot fall asleep...

I'll work on spending more time with her during the day, in hopes that she doesn't feel like needing a "top-up". Meanwhile, we'll try to keep calm and neutral telling her to go back to her room when she comes out. Thanks!

[Scottishmummy]

Bless her she must be getting tired with those NWs....getting OT can disrupt sleep too so you may want to try a slightly earlier BT if you think she needs to catch up on some sleep. My DS has been pretty exhausted since starting preschool and we had to move BT from 7.30 back to 7 on nursery days.

[creations]

We always always have disruption at the half birthday, either call backs at Bt or disturbance in the night. It usually passes with some comforting and extra mummy-time and DS gets through the developmental phase. Maybe it's just that?

Just another random thought - you said she has a potty in her room but wants to use the toilet in your bathroom. Is is possible that she is finding it difficult to get on the potty or to get off it? there was a time when DS's potty became too small for him and he actually found it really hard to lower himself on or stand up to get off it.  He was younger when we bought a chair-potty which has a high back, a higher seat than a little potty and sort of arms on it he could use to lever himself up!  At an older age he just got to the point when the potty in his room wasn't right any more and he needed 'permission' to just go to the bathroom toilet.

[marcat]

I tried putting her to bed a little earlier. It worked once, but not the second night. I'll keep trying though.

Thanks Creations for pointing out the potty issue. I'll talk with her. It seems quite random. Sometimes she goes on her small potty, sometimes not...hopefully, it's just the half year disruption and will pass soon.

[HaniaJa]

Hi there!
We have exactly the same situation - DS is 3 years and 4 months old, started nursery 2 months ago and shortly after that DD was born. It seemed that he accepted the new situation perfectly, but for the last 2 weeks he has been NW and asking us for the same things-something to drink (even though he has his bottle with water in his bed), his lovey, to cover him, to have the door open...Today he woke up 3 times (?!?!?!) - I told him in the morning that if he wants me to have enough power to play with him he has to start doing this, but I don't know if it will help:) So, I guess this is their asking for attention in this new situation...Isn't it ironic that my LO sleeps all through the night and older one does not?!?!?! LOL
So hang in there, i hope they will get used to the new situation soon. Ofcourse I'm afraid about habit that may to become, but have no idea, how to stop it...