Author Topic: 10 Months - Every night one NW that takes almost 2 hours to continue seleeping  (Read 625 times)

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Offline Palmira78

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I guess my question is related to independent sleep, but I really do not know what to do. In fact, I read PU/PD, WI/WO and that could be an option but I feel sorry to apply them for my DS. So your eyes over my problem and routine will be welcomed.

For the last 2 weeks we have the following situation. My son that used to have lots of NWs has reduced them to just 1 or maximum 2, but the issue is that they tend to last a long time. My DH and I take turns so every night is his or my night to get up when the baby cries.
What do I do when he cries? I go to the room, take the pacifier and re-plug it if it is not in my DS's moth, and hold his hands for a little while, then he turns and goes back to sleep. Also the other version of my soothing is that if he is very wind up I take him in my arms in cradle position and I sit until I feel that he is relaxed/asleep (difficult to tell because it is pitch black). Then I place him back in the cradle and go back to sleep myself.
My DH never takes him out of the cradle, he places him on his side and keep his hands still, otherwise they move so much that unplug the pacifier from his mouth.
Problem: in a number of cases after 5 or 10 minutes the baby stirs and wakes up again, and again and again, and he gets more nervous and tired and desperate to sleep... and like that for 1 hour and a half or 2 hours. After that my DS continues sleeping non-stop for 3 hours until breakfast time. The long NW takes place between 1:30-3:00.
Because he is teething (he is 10 months and only has 3 teeth out) I end up giving him some ibuprofen in case that he is in pain... but I feel bad since I am almost using it every night desperate to do something that works.

Our EASY goes as follows:
E 6:30 BF Breakfast
Wake Up 7:30 (he often continues sleeping after I breast feed him)
S 9:45-10:15 Nap
E 11:30 Lunch
S 1:00-3:00 Main Nap
E 3:30 BF + Snack
E 6:30 Dinner
E 7:15 BF
S 7:30 Bed time
By the way both naps take place in the kindergarten so I have little control over them.
Any idea regarding the long NW? I took him to the pediatrician to find out if something is disturbing him and preventing him to sleep well but apparently nothing stands out (he "seems" a healthy baby).
Also, I wonder if we should be leaving the bedroom once he is not crying and before he gets back to sleep (the pediatrician recommended that) but I do not want my LO to cry...

Offline N_Mom_S

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I'm afraid I can't offer much expertise, but in case it helps, when my LO does that (waking after 5 minutes of being asleep, again and again) is either OT or hunger (or learnt hunger), and he doesn't stop until he's in my arms or fed  ::)



Offline Palmira78

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Thanks N_Mom_S!
I have realized that when my DH soothes my LO does not take so long to go back to sleep. I have followed his technique, and I am not taking him out of the cradle.
Instead I put him on his side, re-plug the pacifier and hold still his hands blocking any movement. He returns to sleep in a few minutes! and he does not wake up again... Well sometimes he does, but the whole process takes around 30 minutes (not my 2 hours).
My LO is normally a little bit constipated so I guess he has some belly discomfort that improves when he is lying on his side instead of on his back. We have tried to place to sleep him on his belly (since he is 10 months old) but he hates it and gets up and sits immediately.
Furthermore, I have observed that since my DH sleeps deeper than me, sometimes my DS cries a little for a while and returns back to sleep on his own... When I am on call, so it is my night to take care of him, I think that I go too quickly to calm him down. Anyway... I must say that today my LO woke up 2 but it took only a few minutes to re-settle him. My DH that does not read any book or forum is actually better at soothing our DS :-) Not fair!!!!

Offline Emami

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Not fair that mama hearing is super sensitive!  I think a lot of us here find the same thing, that we hear every little cry and sigh whereas men can sleep through it and also go straight back to sleep if they do happen to hear it.

I think you're right though that you need to hang back a bit. It's totally normal for LOs to wake at night, and you definitely don't want to disturb their ability to put themselves back to sleep.

My DD2 used to be up for hours at night too. It was awful, so I sympathise!  I used to go in, pat, lie on her floor, whatever I could, and nothing worked.  Eventually what worked was as little intervention as possible with WIWO. No CIO or CC, but only going in when she was really upset, reassuring and leaving again when she was calm. She did immediately ramp up again when I left, but for a few seconds and would then stop, so I felt that she was more angry that I left than actually needing me.  Gradually her NWs reduced and now she sleeps through barring illness.

Having said all that, I did get the feeling that she was very susceptible to being disrupted by teeth and developmental stuff. So it was a rough few months while she learnt to crawl, stand, walk, tall etc. It could just be that she sleeps better now that her brain and body aren't quite so busy all the time. Well... she is always busy but has mastered all the basics and has all her teeth!

Good luck, I hope you continue to see improvement.
Emma






Offline Palmira78

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Thanks a lot for your message Emami. Once I get some courage I need to try the WI/WO.
As you mentioned my DS2 also  seems to be very influenced by teething and developmental changes.
He is now crawling all over the house. I daily record his timing and try to keep consistent routines but I obtain different results.  I have to say that without moving him from the cradle he is resettlling in just 10 minutes which is great.  But one day we get 4 NWs and the next day it is only one.
Now we have a cold so may be this also counts.

One question regarding your experience with WI/WO. You mentioned that your daughter after you left was crying with anger but not because she needed you. Did she take a long time to calm down? Did she calm down by her own? How many times did you have to do it? How old was she at that time?
 

Offline Emami

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She started sleeping well at about 16 months. It didn't take much at all once I stopped intervening so much! The thing is, I had felt like I *was* leaving her to self settle as I used to lie on her floor and try not to pick her up, but just be there for her and use my voice if needed. But looking back I realise that was still too much and she knew I was there, which may have initially been comforting but then became distracting. She would reach out for my hand or sit up to check I was there, start singing etc. I was keeping her awake even though I wasn't doing anything.

I can't remember exactly how long WIWO took, but it was pretty quick once I listened a bit more and didn't go rushing back in.  Once I hung back I could hear that she wasn't even crying, it was just screaming. Basically the same as a tantrum during the day.  She calmed down by herself for the most part, I think there were only a couple of really rough ones where I was in and out for a while. Sorry I can't be more specific, when I was living it I could remember all the details of every hellish night, but once you're on the other side of things and sleeping again it all seems like a distant memory!
Emma






Offline Palmira78

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Thanks a lot Emami to give me the details about your experience. It is really helpful and gives me perspective. Perhaps it is a matter of time that we observe some improvements. I wish I could remove the feeling that my DS2 bad nights are my fault :-(

I am currently quite bewildered. These last days we had one night with only 1 night wake that only took 5 minutes to re-settle, several days that we had 2 o 3 NW but really quick ones (5 minutes and back to sleep). And then last night when DS2 woke up at 11 and did not return to sleep until 2:00 am. The only variation regarding yesterday was that he slept 3h in nap time instead of 2.5 and that he did not poo. Are these key factors??? :-P

Last night, my DH and I were giving turns since we were exhausted (we both work). We proceeded as usual plugging in the pacifier (that he was holding in his hand), keeping his hands still.... we also tried giving him some pain killer. We tried everything (that normally works), with the exception of feeding him since he ate well during the day and we already weaned the night feeds, and we did not take him out of the cradle either). He was wide awake and could not relax.

I wonder if we should push his BT. Currently he is sleeping almost 12 hours during the night, and we never get early mornings (only early NW), I have always to wake him up in the morning to take him to the kindergarten (7:30am), and in the weekends if we let him he can wake up at 8:00 or at 9:00. Lately I am not letting him over sleep during the weekends, since otherwise his whole routine goes wrong during the rest of the day.

Any suggestions will be very welcomed :-)

Offline Palmira78

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Hey, I just wanted to provide with an update!.
We are recently having some STTN nights so we are really happy. We have implemented a modified WI/WO method.
Previously we used to go plug in the pacifier, and hold his hands until our DS2 relaxed and returned to sleep. Lately we just go there, gently touch his head, plug the pacifier and leave... and he continues sleeping!!!
I totally support your advice Emami, about reducing the intervention. In fact I was very surprised the first time I went plug the pacifier and left, that he did not cry or call me back. It is indeed excellent because despite there are some times 3 NW, it is really quick so we all continue sleeping very well.

Next step will be weaning the pacifier... but so far I just want to enjoy the little progress that we made.