I was here when my son was 18m, again at 2.5, and now he's getting close to 3 and this isn't working anymore.
We had a baby 3 months ago and that's when the issues started, I have been patient and loving but he has acted so awful lately and been so cranky because lack of sleep and it's time to put a stop to it. I'm ready for some new advice.
Background so you guys don't have to look me up lol
-He has slept with us since birth
-nursed to sleep held by me for 18m
-night weaned very easily at (18m)
-transitioned smoothly to cuddling his dad to sleep (20m)
-Started falling asleep on his own in his bed in our room (2 years) this is when he completely dropped his nap and just fusses and cries no matter what we do for the full hour he's supposed to be napping.
The whole time (birth to 2 years) he woke through the night once or twice but was very easily put back to bed with a reassuring hand.
This worked well for 5 months, and then baby #2 was born. For the last 3 months he has woken every 1-2 hours inconsolable. If his daddy isn't home yet (he works second shift) he cries for him but if he is he just cries and screams. I have tried everything and have been very understanding, becoming a big brother and sharing mommy and daddy is very hard and stressful for such a little guy, but having no sleep is making the situation so much worse.
The bedtime problem is creeping into every other part of our life, he's being defiant and cranky and whining all day..I knew it's normal to an extent but this is seriously ridiculous.
Meanwhile the baby sleeps 12 hours a night (when he's not being woken by big brothers tantrums, which does happen probably 3x a week)
Our current sleeps schedule
-he wakes up between 8-9am.
-I try to lay him down for a nap at 1 but he never naps..he only fights me. This last week I haven't even tried because I am way too tired to even fight that fight anymore.
(2:30 his daddy leaves for work)
-7pm bedtime routine starts
-730pm bedtime (he fights it until he finally goes to sleep completely exhausted at 9pm)
- the night fight begins
(His daddy gets home at 12:30am)
I have tried putting him to bed earlier because he is obviously tired by 5pm, but any earlier than 730p the night fight is way worse. I feel like the sweet spot for nighttime sleep without a nap is 730 but he always fights me.
Ok, of you're still reading this (and I hope so because I really need you guys) here's the advice I'm looking for.
1. It's time he sleeps in his room, and I need advice on how to do this without hurting his little feelings, he's already hurt at having to share us and I would like this as pain free as possible.
He goes to sleep on his own in our room in his bed but someone has to be in there with him for him to even try to go to sleep. He doesn't care where we are as long as he can see one of us.
2. What should I do about this crazy schedule? He still needs a nap but won't take it and I would like it if he would.
3. What in the world should I do about these night wakings?
I've tried spending time with him during the day without the baby, because I understand that's most of it, but that hasn't helped at all.
If you haven't gotten through all that you are awesome! Thanks in advance for the help I really appreciate it!