Author Topic: 6 month old will only sleep on me  (Read 1650 times)

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Offline Mummy23boys

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6 month old will only sleep on me
« on: November 22, 2016, 21:38:21 pm »
Hi everyone,

I'm in a bit of a pickle! My 6 month old has been sick on and off pretty much all of his  6 months. It really has been 1 thing after another. Just now he's getting over croup and it was awful. The problem I have now is he will only sleep on me or with me! I knew it was developing but what could I do! My lil guy needed me to hold and comfort him and that's exactly what I did. And still doing. But now he's getting better I need a plan of action to sleep train him properly. And I'd like your advice on the best route to go down. The most gentle but affective.

I've posted here before about naps going to pot over school runs. So I now accept that morning (9.30am) and afternoon (about 12.30pm. I cap at half hour) naps are in the car. But I'd like for him to have a good proper nap at home in his cot. And days when I don't have school runs, all his naps in the cot. But he won't go to sleep with out me.

As I type he is on my shoulder. This is my third time trying to settle him. I get him to sleep and put him back down and 5 or 10 mins later he's screaming for me again. I know this is all my own fault but he has the most heart breaking cry and I want him to know I am here for him but I need to get back on track! He used to sleep through the night but now wakes and wants me to put him back to sleep. Which I do or else he comes in to the bed with me so we all get some sleep.

He has slept with me through all this sickness. I didn't mind as I wanted to monitor his breathing. Thankfully he's much better now so I'm hoping with your help I can help him to sleep by himself!

This is my 3rd child and honestly feels like my first! I feel clueless! I know these are all bad habits that I have created and I feel bad. But some days you just gotta do what ya gotta do to survive the day 😕

A crazy tired mammy
Xx



Offline Mummy23boys

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Re: 6 month old will only sleep on me
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2016, 21:40:49 pm »
Any advice please? Thanks x



Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 6 month old will only sleep on me
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2016, 21:59:38 pm »
Hi sorry you've not had any replies. Hugs for the tough few months, has he got any ongoing illness apart from recovering from croup? Any teeth coming through?

Can you post his day in EAS format for us? Have you ever started sleep training or will this be the first time?

Sorry for all the questions just trying to get a good picture of things x
Zoe


Offline Mummy23boys

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Re: 6 month old will only sleep on me
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2016, 11:20:10 am »
Hi there and thanks for replying. No he's defo over all sickness now. He's just got his 2 bottom teeth and no sign of any other yet. I am convinced I am a prop for sleep. Absolutely certain of it. It's so hard to give a proper eas format as every day is different. But it's something like this..

WU 6.30/7 (6oz)
S 9.15/9.30 (half hour or an hour. Sometimes 2 hrs if I'm lucky) always in car because of school runs
E 11 and lunch 12
S 12.30/1 (again in car because of collecting kids) I figured if I capped this one at half hour I could try get a good nap from him at home in his bed.
E3
S I try aim for 4pm
Dinner 5pm
E 6.30
Bed 7

Now this is on a good day! Mostly when I try put him down for evening nap he won't go down. So I usually give up after an hour and he's awake until bedtime. He will sleep on me no problem but I can't keep doing that. Before he was sick he was hit and miss with day time naps. Some days were great and some were awful. He always sleeps through the night until now. He wakes and I try just put my hand on him to calm him but if he gets too upset I have to pick him up. And then when I try put him back down he gets hysterical.

He's hates when I shush him and freaks out when I try pupd. What other options have I? I just moved him to a new cot so the last 2 nights he hasn't slept with me. So that's progress I guess. But he has woken so many times looking for me and we both are exhausted. Hope I've explained it well. Am so tired!

Thanks x



Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 6 month old will only sleep on me
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2016, 14:50:39 pm »
School runs are hard I know. If he's only have short caped naps he will be getting OT and that won't help with self settling. Can you transfer from car to bed? Most at this age have given up 3rd nap so you could do with trying to get on the naps in the cot or longer...difficult I know. I'd say BT time you go for nap at 4pm he's OT as it's a long A on 30 mins. Maybe try a micro 5/10 min nap then put down earlier?

Maybe try gradual withdrawal, cuddle until drowsy then out in cot and sit next to it using voice to soothe or stroke hand through the bars.

I'm just off on school run will be back later x
Zoe


Offline Mummy23boys

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Re: 6 month old will only sleep on me
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2016, 22:33:45 pm »
He's an extremely light sleeper unfortunately,  same as me 🙁 so all attempts to lift him from car seat to cot have all ended up with him wide awake and not going back to sleep. He had better naps today but only because we were out and about a lot. But at bedtime he did settle himself and went off to sleep! I was shocked! He did wake 2 hours later and was screaming so much my husband had to pick him up. He fell back to sleep in his arms and he put him back down in cot and is still asleep now.

The thing with gradual withdrawal is I have a 4 and 5 year old too so can't leave them on their own for too long. So can't spend loads of time in baby's room.

Can I ask, if baby short naps how much A time should I give roughly? Say if he naps 30 mins only should i knock 30 mins off A time? Or naps 45 mins, do I give full A time? He's the kind of baby that doesn't show signs of tiredness until it's too late! This guy rarely even yawns! 🙄



Offline Mummy23boys

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Re: 6 month old will only sleep on me
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2016, 23:02:49 pm »
He just woke screaming there so I tried to comfort him with just my hand on him and rubbing his head. He compleatly freaked out so I had to pick him up.  I didn't hold him for too long and put him down. He was still giving out but I kept my hand on him and one by his head. He really needs some sort of contact. He's settled back for now! Does this seem ok? Is there anything else I should be doing? I know I need to work on not picking him up unless absolutely necessary. Ugh he used to be such a great sleeper. Will he ever get back to that!

Thanks x



Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 6 month old will only sleep on me
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2016, 14:48:51 pm »
I normally shave 20/30 mins off A time if it's a 30 min nap and 15 mins off a 45/1 hour nap but do go a little by behaviour too.

What time do you get back from morning school run? The only other thing I can think is if literally wake him after 10 mins at lunchtime when you get back from school then put him to bed an hour or so later and see if he will nap then. Ideally at that age you want a couple of 1.5/2 hour naps and poss CN 20 mins if needs it or earlier bedtime if refuses.

Really I think maybe you need to pick a time you can spend a bit of time working on independant sleep, I have s 4 yr old too and he will sit with tv on for 20 mins or so quite happily while I put  our 10 month old to nap or bed. How's he sleep at weekends?

That seems fine with the hand on him it's kind of adapted pu pd so try and soothe of if he gets upset pick up calm down re start the hand on him etc. Mine still sometimes needs to be very drowsy and get his butt patted a bit.
Zoe


Offline Mummy23boys

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Re: 6 month old will only sleep on me
« Reply #8 on: November 27, 2016, 13:44:57 pm »
Well your not gonna believe this..the night before last after I sent that last post. He went back to sleep and didn't budge till 7.20 am the next morn! I fed him and put him back down not expecting him to go back to sleep but he did....till 11am! He was so happy and rested when he woke. And so was I! I put him down for a nap at 2pm and off he went to sleep no problem! Someone pinch me cos I must be dreaming!

Last night he went to bed with little fuss too. Now he did wake and few times during the night and nd I had to PU to settle but didn't wake till 8.20 am so I can't complain. I can't explain it! I'm not doing anything particularly different. Maybe it was just a phase?  Now I'm fully aware this could go pear shaped again over next few days. But I'm a happy mammy at the moment! Thank you for your support xx



Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 6 month old will only sleep on me
« Reply #9 on: November 27, 2016, 16:05:28 pm »
Well phase or not enjoy for now lol! Keep us posted x
Zoe