Help with night waking and dropping night feeds, 6m

[Crispysage]

Hi mums! Please HELP!

We are really at a low point 

He is now 9m and no change.

I haven't weaned the paci because he can and does use it himself. Often when we go to him it's in his hand or even in his crying lips. I had managed to stop feeding him at all till 5am, but the last few weeks it's been back to one of us trying to settle him from between 11 /1 until 3 when I finally feed him. at around 3/4. DH is suggesting I just go back to feeding him closer to midnight/whenever he first wakes, like a DF... Right now after feeding him at 3/4 am he calms down and I leave him to go to sleep by himself. (He doesn't feed back to sleep, but he does drink a lot = one boob isn't enough.) He is a very hungry boy, he cries for food during the day and eats big portions of very healthy food. It may be that he isn't getting enough milk as he is often distracted at bf. He is no longer constipated, he drinks plenty water which has solved that problem. He has first couple of teeth and is gaining mobility which could be bothering him with NW. He is right over a storm cloud in wonderweeks, but there is no change since 6m so I don't think thats it. There could be some separation anxiety, but it's just been going on for so long! I am struggling to cope with lack of sleep - I am HAPPY if I get one 3hr stretch after the feed.

I didn't try weaning the paci because the with my method of putting him to sleep, I am not there - I just give it to him in his hand and he watches me walkout. I hang around to make sure he sings himself to sleep, if he gets upset I go and give him a hug or a pat. But I think staying in the room to do the gentle removal would stimulate him too much. Perhaps I should just try.

His schedule changes a lot depending on WU which can be between 4:30 and 6:30

yesterday

6:30 WU BF
7:30 - solids
9:30 - S
11:40 - BF (I had to wake him)
12:30 - E
2:45 - S
4:15 -BF
5 -S
7 BF S
multiple NW, usually starting 11pm
sometimes awake for an hour between 2/3 and 3/4 till I finally give up and feed him

I do usually aim for a 4hr BF schedule, difficult on a 3+ A time schedule with 2hr sleeps.

[Palmira78]

Hello, and Happy New Year! :-)
I am very sorry to heard that things aren't going well. I agree with you that the pacifier is not a problem and since he can use it himself I would go on with it. There is no need to wean it since you do not need to replug it (as it was my case with my DS). I am just going to give you some suggestions in case they help. If they don't work take it easy, my LO is now one YO and getting better... so things will improve eventually ;-)

- The nap time (from your EASY) seems on the higher side. In the past posts that was shorter, has something change? I would try to keep it on the lower limit according to "standard" sleeping charts and see what happens.

- Have you considered to give your LO a nice meal closer to BF and before BT. For example at 6.00pm you could try to feed him dinner (high in protein and fat that takes longer to digest - include some salmon or beef). Do not feed fruit then (with the exception of avocado) since fruits fill in the belly but they are low in callories.  Then for example BF at 6:40, and place him to sleep around 7.00. I know that the meals timing (and the amounts) are somewhat cultural. Neverthelss it is harmless to try feeding more food closer to bedtime. Remember that milk is really easy and quick to digest (and even more, breast milk).

- I know that it can be a pain but... have you considered expressing some milk before BT and asking your DH to give him the bottle if he wakes up hungry so you can have some rest? Alternatively you can offer him some formula. Furthermore, the bottle with your milk is quicker and you could return faster to bed. Also it does not reward your LO with long contact and interaction so reduces the incentive for waking up. If the problem is hunger you also must rule this out (but in a confortable way).

Hey! Let me know how it goes and good luck. I hope that you start getting better nights soon.
Big hug xxx

[Crispysage]

Thanks these are all good ideas and I have not tried them all. (Formula...) Things have degenerated further.

S time during the day I usually have at 3.5 hr. I have recently tried dinner right before BT and it's very high protein and volume. Then BF and lately he's been exhausted and sometimes milk hazes or feeds to sleep.

I dunno - formula... I was hoping to not intro MORE food at night. Seems like at 9m he should be able to go without food by now.

Anyway.

Thanks.

[Palmira78]

Hello there. How are things going? Perhaps after going back to the routine, and without the family visiting your place you have make some progress?
Regarding your last post, I agree with you that introducing food during the night is not the way to go.
My suggestion to ensure that you LO goes to sleep not hungry would be: dinner at 6:00, then after 10 minutes from dinner breastfeed, then bath, and then offer him some formula. Finally put him to sleep. Some babys really need lots of food. My experience is that if my LO is too tired will not have a full feed of BF, however he will eat a little bit more with the bottle because it is quicker. Besides he never falls asleep with the bottle but he does with the breast. It is just a suggestion in case it helps.
Anyway, let me know how are things going! Big hug xxx