Help with early wake up time

[AngeMullan]

 Hello, we are on day five of pacifier independence! It has been great to remove this crutch, which was causing numerous wake ups whenever it fell out, but it also means that now our 3 1/2 month old is waking at 5:40 AM. She has always done this actually, but we used to be able to plug in the pacifier and she would sleep until 7 AM.  I really do not want to begin the family's day at 5:40, as it means she is even more exhausted later in the afternoon when I also have her sister to care for. Is there anything I can do to extend her sleep time in the morning? She is a touchy baby so shush Pat has never really worked for her. It only irritates her. Thoughts? I'm really struggling. Our 3 year old sleeps from 7-7 and I'd like to get our baby girl on that same schedule if at all possible. Picking her up and rocking her seems likely to cause reliance on that. As does giving a bottle and putting her back down (which is what I did this morning). Do I just ride this out and hope that she will start sleeping longer as she gets older? I really don't now. Help please!

[jessmum46]

At that age I'd probably go for the easy option if I'm honest  It's tough to resettle at that hour and if a small bottle and back down works then I'd honestly probably go with that.  A night feed or two is normal at 3.5 months in addition to a dream feed.  Or perhaps the paci just for that waking??  What's her routine like?  Wakings at that hour are common anyway but about 10.5h after bedtime (assuming 7pm BT) is often linked with OT.  Does she nap well?

[AngeMullan]

I didnt know waking at that time was a sign of OT but I'm not surprised. We start the day at 7 with 4-6 oz of formula and she then takes her first nap around 8:45. Sleeps a little more than 90 min and I always let her bc it's her best nap of the day. She's up by 10:15/10:30 and has another 4-6oz. The midday nap is horrible. I put her down at noon and she'll only sleep about 30 min before Wanting to get up. I let her fuss with some reassurance every 10 minutes and then get her at 1:30. Another 4-6oz.  Third nap is between 3 and 3:30 (depending on how that midday nap went) but she's up within 30-45 min and won't nap after that. It's exhausting and I wish I could get her to take one morecatnap around 5 but her sister is home and she's wired. I'm putting her down around 6:45 because of this. The goal is 7-7 but I don't know what to do to get us there. Have I mentioned she's a super touchy baby? Cries a lot between 4 and 7 but won't go down.

[jessmum46]

Sound like she's in a bit of an overtired cycle doesn't it?  The first nap is a good length but then if the second one is short, I would try to pull the third one much earlier to allow her to catch up.  If she's down at 12 and up by 12.30, that's 2.5-3h before the next nap which I suspect is causing some of the problems.  Can you get her down more like 2ish?  She could sleep a couple of hours then potentially and may make it through the evening a bit better?  Though it would still be a stretch to make a 7pm bedtime I think...she's in the 4-3 nap transition zone and often when dropping a nap bedtime needs to come earlier for a while to make up for lost daytime sleep.  The goal can still be 7-7 but it may just take time before she can handle a bedtime that late x

[AngeMullan]

Thank you for getting back to me. I'm really struggling And I'm sure it's because I have too high of expectations since my first was (and is) a textbook/angel baby. I now have a touchy baby who gets overtired and overstimulated pretty easily. I have a feeling she's not ready to have more activity time yet I've been trying to up it in an effort to have her and her sis nap at the same time. She's also a light sleeper. I was trying to get her to sleep til 7am but she's up at 5:30/6 and I should be happy with that since it's 11 hours of sleep. Again, my 12 hour expectation was based on her sister. I'm nervous bc I'm going back to work soon and still don't have a normal routine in place. Not true actually. She's always on EASY but the scheduled sleep times haven't fully fallen into place as quickly as I thought they would. Each day is different. I can count on a good morning nap in the stroller and then decreasing nap lengths throughout the day. Here's my thought process right now... why not get her up when she wakes at 5:30/6? Then we're not tiptoeing around while getting ready for work in the morning? Her EASY routine would then look something like this:

E: 5:30
A: 5:30-7:30 (long bc I have to take sis to school)
S: 7:30-8:15 (45 min)

E: 8:15
A: 8:15-9:45
S: 9:45-11:30 in stroller (90 min)

E: 11:30
A: 11:30-1:15
S: 1:15-2:00 (45 min)

E: 2:00
A: 2:00-4:00
S: 4-00-4:30/4:45 (30 min)

E: 4:30
A: 4:30-6:45
S: 6:45 on

Any other pointers for how to accomplish good day sleep for a touchy baby? I feel like I've had a number of trial and errors. I tried a pacifier and it became a complete crutch. She'd spit out out and would then cry for it every 5 minutes so we got rid of it. I tried (for the past 7 days) letting her cry during her short midday nap, hoping she'd eventually sleep through the 45 minute mark. She has yet to sleep through it but she does eventually fall back asleep. Say, after 15 minutes of crying. I'm just not sure if that's a smart way to do it though bc the cry time seems to leave her more exhausted. Do I just accept she's not ready for longer naps? She'll be 4 months this weekend.

I should share that I'm trying to avoid setting up bad habits that can't be maintained by others who hope to help (grandma's). For example: doing naps in the car instead of the crib. I know she'd sleep well in the car but that's not maintainable nor is it real quality sleep. Ugh. Can you tell I'm unclear as to what I can do at this point or how to do it? All advice welcome!

[jessmum46]

(((Hugs))), it is hard - you think you've got babies all figured out and then bam!  Second one is never the same... I do think it is very normal at this stage for it to feel like the routine is yet to get sorted and that every day is different.  It's also prime time for short naps, regardless of whether or not your are doing everything 'right' and that's something that really only time can cure.  I'm told that from 0-3 months babies are primarily organising their night sleep, and 4-6 months their daytime sleep.  It's very common for that nice morning nap to develop first and the rest to be catnaps.  It can feel like it should be very 'easy' when you read the book or see example routines, but honestly I don't think that's the reality for most people - there definitely wouldn't be so many sleep sites if it was!!

If you're ok with a 5.30/6am start and it works for your family, then go with it - I would just be a bit wary if your long-term goal is a later waking as it can be a horrible one to break, and means that an EW will be truly horribly early!  Maybe if you think 11h nights are her thing you could consider a later bedtime??  I'm not sure what you feel would be the best thing for your family though?

For a touchy baby I would say establishing a calm, consistent winddown and avoid overstimulation would be key, also being very aware of tired signs and getting LO down early enough to sleep.  We don't support leaving a baby to cry alone so I can't advise you do that in her naps - if she is waking and upset we would suggest you help her to resettle using shh pat or similar.  How is she getting to sleep in the first place for nap time?

[AngeMullan]

 This really made me feel better. Thank you! Our normal wind down routine is to take her to the nursery when I start to see her rubbing her eyes. I then swaddle her, tell her sweetly that it is time for sleep, close the shades, turn on the humidifier,  kiss her on the forehead, and place her in her crib. She's whimpers for less than five minutes and then conks out. In my opinion, I think she is pretty good about going down tired. So if the 45 minute nap is considered OK at this age, maybe I should count my blessings! And yes I would love to get away from  an early wake up time. I feel the easy fix would be to give her the pacifier at 5:30 but I was worried that it would welcome that bad habit back in, and that I would end up having to go in a number of times to replug it in between 530 and 7am.. At the same time though, I know in just a few weeks she will have the ability to pick up and put the pacifier back in her self. So in that respect maybe it's not  such a bad thing to consider. I'm not sure! I have nothing against pacifiers. I only want to make sure that she sleeps without too much help. If I let her have the pacifier at 5:30 in the morning, which she then expect it when she wakes up from nap's? That is what I want to avoid. Can you tell me what options you would recommend?

[jessmum46]

It does sound like she settles well, good work!  I never used a pacifier with mine so not the best person to advise on that front, but night sleep and naps can be very different and using a paci for one doesn't necessarily mean you'd need it for other sleeps.  For example, many babies will be fed or rocked to sleep for naps, or have them in the pushchair, but will happily sleep in their own beds at night without issue.  It's a fair point that she may well be able to replug herself soon as well.  To me it sounds like you have the end goal of independent sleep in sight and that will help enormously in the long run.  Just sometimes there need to be small steps along the way