4 month old cries when we put her down at night.

[AngeMullan]

I could use some help as I struggle with my touchy baby who is now 4 months.

Here is our current EASYroutine:

E: 7:15 (after having a DF at midnight and a bottle and back down around 4:30/5 if needed)
A: 7:15-9:00 (1.45). Tummy time, taking sis to school, watching mom do dishes, etc.
S: 9:00-10:45 (1.45) in stroller while I get morning walk.
Y: exercise

E: 10:45
A: 10:45-12:15 (1.30). Face to face time with mommy, doing chores in baby bjorn, looming at reflection in mirror, sitting up in Bumbo seat, etc.
S: 12:15-1:45 in crib (1:30). Some stirring at 45 min mark but then self soothed and goes back to sleep for another 45
Y: lunch and housework/email/projects

E: 1:45
A: 1:45-3:45 (2.0) often with an outing to the grocery store or to pick up dry cleaning or something.
S: 3:45-4:30 in crib (.45)
Y: prep dinner

E: 4:30
A: 4:30-6:30 with school pick up, reading time, 2nd bottle, bathtime, etc.
S: 6:30
Y: dinner and bed

I'm trying an earlier bedtime tonight because my LO has been crying for up to 90 min at her7pm bedtime each night and I haven't been able to successfully resettle her. She seems more irritated by my interference. I'm feeding her more (up to 6oz instead of 4) so I don't think she's hungry. I'm guessing OT? No teeth yet. We're transitioning from 4 naps to 3 so I'm thinking an earlier bedtime might Help. What I know for sure is naps get shorter throughout the day. Her best nap is in the morning and her activity time increases from 1.30 in the morning to 2 full hrs after her midday nap and after her 45 min catnap. Does this seem right? I'm wondering what else I can do for an easier  settling at night. We have a good wind down routine that takes about 20-30 minutes. Massage with Vaseline (she has very dry skin so only takes bath 2-3 times a week, 2nd bottle (cluster), then Jammie's, swaddle, close the curtains, turn lights off, turn on humidifier, tell her it's time for sleep, kiss her forehead and lay her down. What else should I do or not do to help her settle with fewer tears? I'm personally struggling with extreme anxiety as the nights of crying continue. I could use any and all tips please!

[Buntybear]

Hello, sorry your post has been missed  - I shall bump it for you now x

[Scottishmummy]

Hi there!

Your routine looks good- 2 long naps and a CN is pretty typical pattern at this age, so are increasing A times as the days goes on.

Your WD also looks good.  My son was a touchy baby and needed a long WD before bed. Our BT routine is still an hour long and has been since he was a baby (he's almost 4 yrs old now!)

There is a sleep regression at 4mo which can disrupt nights and cause issues with going to sleep but a few things are worth a try:


Can she go to sleep independently? I.e. With no help from you at all? That can make a huge difference at this age to bedtime and NWs.

How did the earlier BT go?

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious, is there anyone to help with BT to give you a break during this unsettled phase? It honestly will just be a phase and it will pass xxx

[AngeMullan]

Thank you for getting back to me! I have put her to bed at 6:30 instead of 7 these past two nights and she's gone down much easier. Groggy but awake. I definitely think 4 month regression/growth spurts have come into play bc she's waking 2x a night and takes a full 4oz bottle before falling back asleep. Wile I don't want to encourage a habit of multiple night waking, the fact that she polishes off the bottle and then falls back asleep tells me she's hungry. It's never at the same time so I'm not too concerned about this becoming habitual. Should I be? Or would you agree that this too has to do with her growing and is simply a stage? I really want to make sure I'm encouraging independent sleep while still responding to her basic needs.

[Scottishmummy]

I'm glad the earlier BT has helped, touchy babies do tend to get v easily OT & it sounds like 2hrs is her max awake time right now.

Re feeds. I BF rather than bottle so a bit different for me as mine fed on demand including NFs until almost 1yo and I often fed at night to just get back to sleep.

It could be growth spurt, I do remember more NFs around 4 mo. In that case definite feed on demand &  it should pass within a few days, a week at the most. 

How close is the feed to putting her in the cot right now? I remember my DD at this stage and if she was groggy from feed when I put her down, she wanted more frequent feeding at night to get back to sleep. I moved the BT feed a bit earlier so she wasn't falling asleep on it and that helped & made sure she fell asleep herself rather than with a prop.

The only other thing to consider is whether she's ready to go slightly longer between feeds during the day? I see she's on 3-3.5 hrs between feeds. Some LOs are ready for bigger less frequent feeds around this age (3.5-4hrs apart) & that can sometimes help get more in during the day.  Is she showing hungry signs for feeds or are you just feeding on waking as a routine thing? If she's hungry on waking, stick with what you're doing. If you think she might be able to stretch, you could try a bit longer between feeds. She'll let you know if she wants you to stick with 3-3.5hrly!