19 month old suddenly terrified of sleeping in her room

[ENMS]

Hi,

My DD2 is 19 months old. She's been an IS without any issue since she was around 4 months old.

We are having issues with IS right now, she seems to be completely terrified of sleeping alone in her room. It started when she was sick and then we went on vacation and were all 5 in the same hotel room so she slept with us to not wake the other 2 kids who were sleeping. Now we're back home and she continues to be terrified to sleep alone in her room. I want to do WI/WO but wondering if it will work because she seems so scared, her scream is like nothing I've ever heard before, completely and totally panicked.

over the holidays she had a gastro bug (stomach flu). On the first night that she was sick, she woke up with a piercing scream during the night and was inconsolable, we could not put her down. so I stayed with her in the rocking chair in her room and she slept on me. that continued for 2-3 nights. at first, she would go to sleep ok at BT but then would wake in the night totally panicked and we just could not leave her room. then we had a family vacation planned for 1 week and we were all in the same hotel room. when we tried to put her down in her crib she would just panic so we made her sleep with us since it was a little difficult with the other kids in the same room all needing their sleep. while away, she would nap on me, or in the stroller.

so now we're back home and of course last night she had the same panicked cries when we tried to put her down. since it was really late and she was OT, I decided to have her in bed with us for the night but I don't want to keep this habit of course I want her to go back to independent sleep. but she is so, so panicked, I don't think I've ever heard this kind of cry on one of my children before. wondering what I can do to help her because I doubt WI/WO will work if I don't resolve the why she is completely panicked. she does not speak much yet so I don't know exactly what it is that freaks her out. I was thinking of putting on a night light maybe?

any thoughts?

[creations]

Sorry you didn't get any replies yet - giving you a bump.

[Haribo2012]

Hi sorry not been around smaller child sleep issues

I think you probably need to try gradual withdrawal Di she starts to feel safe and happy again in her bed knowing your there but removing your presence gradually.
Have a look at this link it has some good tips
Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

How are naps at home?

[ENMS]

So, we've been back for a few days and I'm not sure exactly what is going on. Naps are good. She will cry for maybe a minute and then settle to sleep and her naps are long. Just to add she is an angel baby and always goes done super easily.

Problem remains at night. The most we've had her sleep in her crib is 4 hours. Last night she slept 4h in her crib then cried, DH was able to resettle her and she slept an hour more but then wouldn't go back to sleep so we took her in with us. Then last night she cried maybe every hour after BT but was able to resettle herself well. Then at 11PM she wouldn't, so DH did WIWO,  but we gave up at 1AM since she was wide awake and brought her in with us. It took her one more hour to fall asleep she was so worked up. She is stil sleeping now.

Obviously I know it was bad to get her to sleep in our bed again but we didn't know what to do and I know she is a little OT so I do want her to catch up a little before going back to daycare on MOnday.

But her crying is not as panicked anymore so that's a good start but we really have to work at getting her to sleep the entire night in her crib. We were thinking of putting an inflatable mattress on the floor in her room and having one of us sleep there with her. I don't know if it will be enough for her though because when we were on vacation she had a crib right next to her bed and she wouldn't sleep in it. But then again it was a different environment.

What do you think?

good luck with the smaller child sleep issues!

[Emami]

Following.  My DD2 is a bit older at 2yr 2m but we are also having nighttime issues. She has been an IS since forever and BT and naps are still fine but she is waking screaming in the night and staying awake and upset for a long time. We were away over Christmas and also sharing a room with her, plus there is probably some jetlag at play, plus her last 2 molars have popped, but it is horrible! Hope yours improves soon!

[Haribo2012]

It's so hard in the middle of the night to not bring them in your bed if everyone then gets to sleep. I'm guessing she's just got used to getting in your bed, and it's a case of whose will is stronger to last it out.

I'd go for bed on floor in her room, when she wakes just say it's still night times or sleepy time whatever phrase you use, lay her down say it's ok mummy or daddy here go to sleep now and lay down yourself. Basically repeat repeat even if it takes a long times so she knows that her bed is where she sleeps. If she gets mega wound up quick cuddle then back into bed, you can always have your hand in her back or a body part if that helps.

I found wi/who always wound up my eldest so we did the above and gradually moved further away from his cot until we were just sat in doorway for a few mins.

Did she go through 18 month SR?

[ENMS]

Hum you know, she did not go through the 18m SR - I'm guessing that could be it too. Would the advice be the same if it is a SR?

I will set up a mattress in her room and hopefully we all get some sleep. you're right, I think the WIWO is definitely not helping and probably making her more excited if anything.

Emma, it really sounds similar to what we're going through. Let me know how you get on.

[Haribo2012]

I'd do the same yes if it's SR, with the mattress I do go back to my own bed after they are in a deep sleep but it's much nicer than the floor. Last night I did it for my nearly 1 yr old but no mattress and I couldn't walk when I stood up...numb butt cheek lol!

Emami have you posted your own thread so you can get some eyes on might be helpful fir you 

[Emami]

I posted my own thread just now... at midnight when she's already been up for 2hrs 😣 ENMS nothing good to report here, hope you're having more joy

[ENMS]

Not a lot of joy for us either. She had trouble going down at BT and DH was taking care of it doing WIWO and it was working horribly. So i went with your advice and stayed in her room, she calmed immediately and went to sleep around 8. Then she woke at 10, I went in and she relaxed right away and went back to sleep. Then I must have been sleeping soundly because DH says she woke at 11:30 and he stayed with her until 1AM but she did not go back to sleep at all so at 1AM he brought her in with us and she slept until morning. I'm thinking now that this is maybe some sort of SA towards me, because me being in the room works perfectly fine but not when it's DH? Also, since she keeps waking up repeatedly through the night, wondering if it would be a bad idea to just sleep on the mattress for the entire night, or is that setting myself up for more trouble later on? not sure what to do, but getting up every hour or two does not sound like fun!!

I hope you get a better night Emma. What did you end up doing last night?

[Haribo2012]

If you feel like it's SA and you being there helps then try the whole night Hun it's totally your call, everything can be fixed if need be at a later date.

Sometimes it can be whose will is strongest lol, I was in DS2 room for an hour and half the other night putting him back down every time he stood up lol!

[ENMS]

Is this typical of SA waking up multiple times at night? Sory my other 2 never did that sonthis is vey new to me. She did calm down and go to sleep immediately when I was in the room, which seems to be vey different then when DH is in the room. She was calm with him but just could not go to dleepvbut did right away of course in our bed. I will try to just go when she wakes again tonight I do want to avoid bad habits as much as possible.

[Haribo2012]

I think SA can present in different ways but sounds like she needs you just now to feel ok about sleep. Fingers crossed it goes ok for you x

[ENMS]

well, we had a first complete night in her crib in over two weeks! yay! 

I stayed with her at BT but she wouldn't fall asleep so then I left, she cried for a minute and then she was quiet. I guess I was maybe distracting her? she woke a few times in the evening but resettled herself and then at 10:30 she wouldn't resettle so I went in, said it's time to sleep and sat in the rocking chair. we both fell asleep and she woke a few times, just looked that I was there and then went back to sleep. at 3:30 I went back to my bed and she woke at 5:30 briefly but resettled herself. she was still sleeping when I left for work

so good progress!!! now I am wondering what I should do tonight - should I try to leave her to sleep on her own? or should I stay again but move the rocking chair further away from her crib?

[Haribo2012]

Yahey well done, do you think she needed you there? Maybe go a mix of both stay but move further away and when she's settled just say sleep time etc and leave and see what happens x