Pacifier: I need a plan

[-Maya-]

(not sure if this is right board to post this. Mods please put it in correct place)

So I finally have to face that we must ditch paci. Ds is 31mo, and I gave already been warned by pedi about his teeth position. So paci must go.
But ds is very fond of his paci, he uses it both for sleeping and during the day also. It is a good way for him to release anger, but also to overcome boredom (i.e.car trips). Or just for basic comfort. Honestly it is a great relief also for me, but I think I have followed this shortcut for too long. With the pacifier ds also uses a lovey that he brings everywhere (as Charlie Brown ). But paci & lovey always go together. I have no issue for him to use his lovey, but they are linked together in his mind.

I have many questions.
Should I ditch paci only, but both for days and fir night?
Should I ditch paci only for just day? Night I can go on a little more, I would be happy even just not having to double check if paci is there everythime we go out and about. Also I fear for his night sleep as he is not the best sleeper.
I feel the best for me would be to do some step instead of going cold turkey, but not sure what is better for ds. Maybe my middle ground is not easy to understand for a 2.5yo.
Which story/book/tale can I tell to him to release the pressure from us?
Thanks wise ladies, I am looking forward for your advice and btdt.

[barbaraz78]

My ds used paci until 3 but only for sleeping and for car trips only when he had to nap in the car. He was very dependent to it for sleeping soI waited until he could understand before stopping it. Paci was forbidden at preschool, where he also napped (and he napped without it with no problem) so when we both knew
He could do it, the paci went to Santa on the Christmas night. We had a stuffed bear to which I attached the paci when he was 7 mo (to help him finding it during the night) so also in our case paci and levely were associated. I simply removed the paci from the bear, and I think having the bear helped a lot (he is still having the bear on his bed at 7, even though he puts it over his head now and we don't have to bring it with us when we travel... he can sleep without it now).
I would start stopping using it during the day and keeping it for sleeping and I would aim to remove the paci sleep association after 3. There is a big developmental growth at 3, so he would probably understand better your motivation then.

[-Maya-]

So Barbara, you are suggesting to keep the paci till his 3rd birthday. I think that he is not that ready to do a long term commitment now, like giving paci to Santa and then reminding it.
Meanwhile I found this book that may be helpful. What do you think?

[barbaraz78]

It is a very nice book! We read it a lot in library. I liked it too
No, I am not suggesting to do a long term commitment now, I would just remove it from the day for now and once he is less used to paci during the day, hopefully in a few months, I would remove it at night trying to involve him in the process and after 3 yo it might be easier (for us it was, he was him that decided to give the paci to Santa the day before Christmas!). At least for me, sleeping was so important that I was quite scared to remove it from the night as it was a BIG sleep cue for him. In the mean time, start talking to him about the paci fairy or about the fact that he will have to give the paci away for whatever reason when he becomes a big boy...
Is he still at daycare (nido)? When he will be at preschool, it is possible that this would also help as they do not allow paci as in daycare, and it is usually removed also for sleeping there, at least here.

[-Maya-]

Thanks for your answer Barbara. He is already at preschool as he is in year "primavera" of his preschool ("scuola materna") and they allow pacifiers.
Have you any suggestion on how to tell to him about not using paci during the day?

We're waiting to receive the mentioned book, as we bought it via web. My plan is to read sometimes book to him so that he starts thinking to the idea of living without a paci. But no clue on how to proceedd after that

[barbaraz78]

Can you ask the teacher not to give the paci to him during the day and to keep it only for the nap? Then you can explain him that since he is a big boy, there is the rule that the paci stays on the bed or on the mattress at preschool. So, if he wants the paci he has to stay in the bed.