13 month old - it's all gone wrong!!

[tathi-b]

OMG! It's 00:45 local time and I've been trying to get despot child to sleep since out of the ordinary wake up at 9pm. She was on her normal routine today but woke up a little grumpy from a close to 2 hour afternoon nap (she's doing 7am wake up, 12:30 nap, 7pm bed time). Nothing massive that couldn't be handled. She is generally an independent sleeper who sleeps through the night unless there is something wrong (like tummy ache or teething pain). Thos evening she not let me out of her sight, I've tried shush pat, patting her bottom, sitting with her and eventually I had to give up and take her from the room. She was screaming the house down. I'm so tired I want to cry and she is, of course, overtired and now running on fumes. What do I do tomorrow? What have I don't wrong?! She won't even sleep in my arms!!

[Scottishmummy]

Oh no, how exhausting! How did rest of night go? I hope you got some sleep eventually.

If it's not a normal occurence, could it be a one off bad dream that woke her? Or discomfort from teething or illness?

Hopefully it was just a one off, but if it happens again, I think I'd try pain mess of you think she needs them.  If not, or if that doesn't work, I think I'd try WI/WO at this age instead of sh-pat or staying in room. I know my DD who is around the same age and an independent sleeper gets very distracted at night if we stay in room with her or try to get her to sleep, but if she's worked up WI/WO gives a nice balance of reassurance you are there but also space and quiet for her to go back to sleep herself.
Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

Hope you have a quiet day today and better night tonight!

[tathi-b]

OMG, it was one of 'those' nights.  I was so frustrated with the whole thing and so tired.  I have to admit that I was feeling hostage to my toddler and that wasn't a good feeling.  Such out of character behavior for her as well, it just threw me off! In the end I managed to get her down at 1am after a play in the lounge and a bottle.  Upside down world, but today is a work day for daddy and it's not fair to keep the whole house up.

She is teething with the first big teeth so I gave her Calpol at bed time and then Brufen at 9ish when she woke up the second time thinking it was that.  Why can't they just tell you what's wrong?!

I think I tried everything.  My first instinct was to keep it all to the normal approach we have which is to just sooth her without bringing her out from the cot, give her to dummy, lovey and walk out. That tends to work and she will go back to sleep - unless there is a pain or something bothering her.  But she was wailing, screaming really.  Big, fat, little girl tears, standing in the cot saying 'mamma'. I thought it was pain, so medicated her and sat with her to wait for the medicine to work.  From there on it was downhill.  Lots of crying and screaming and fighting.  When she'd calm down she would just lay there looking at me, so I would put her back in the cot and BAM!  We'd start it all over again. Her dad tried to come in and take her but she wouldn't go to him, in fact when he did pick her up it got worse and I had to run back in.

We did several cycles of calming down, going into cot and crying.  I sat on the floor with my hand on her (separation anxiety?) but that didn't work either.  I'm stumped!  It was definitely not a pain, the Calpol, Infacol and Brufen would have fixed that, no?

In the end around 12 I gave up because her Daddy works today and needed sleep so I took her into the lounge. Where she happily walked around for a half hour talking to herself and then cried some more (she was super tired, she normally goes down at 7!).  At 1am I made her a bottle and that, I think was what did it.  The first time I feed her in the middle of the night since she was 3 maybe 4 months?! She eventually made herself comfy on my lap and slept.

Generally I can find an explanation as to what is bothering her, with independent sleepers who enjoy sleep it's usually something but this time it really threw us all.   And I got so exasperated over the heartfelt crying as well.  I didn't know how to help her and I think that is the worst feeling in the world. 

Thanks for the link, I'll have a look at it now. x

[tathi-b]

I think it's sleep regression.  We had a repeat of everything today at bed time and it took just over an hour to put her down.  Normally she sleeps in 5 minutes on her own but it was up and down, crying, screaming, wrestling, fighting, she slept in her daddy's arms out of sheer exhaustion.

Any ideas on what I can do?  She won't even let us put her in the cot at the minute.  Very distressed little girl.

xx

[mulvia]

Hello and hang in there! My DS went through a patch like that more or less at the same age (19 mo now) I think it lasted about a week - does your DD wake up fully screaming already? Mine did that, waking at weird times and would scream hopelessly for about an hour - there was no amount of cuddling, nursing, rocking that could help, nothing worked and in fact he was usually better off if we did not try to pick him up. It was heartbreaking, but as you described he wrestled us every time we tried to hold him, so we just stayed close and spoke soflty to him. A couple of times we got him out of the room and it helped, but other times he kept screaming no matter where we went. Still not sure what it was as I think it was too early for night terrors, but sometimes he would have a bit of a blank look and wouldn't seem to hear anything...then out of nowhere he would go back to sleep. Hope it helps...at least knowing you're definitely not alone!

[tathi-b]

I just don't understand how they can go from being fine one day to being like that the next?! 

Last night was a lot better comparatively but still I was up several times with her.  This is a little girl who not only goes to sleep on her own but also stays asleep all night - so confusing! I managed to get to her before she woke up, but there was a lot of talking, crying in her sleep and general tossing and turning.  I'm wondering if it's not dreams?

When she does wake it's screams, ear piercing screams and fighting.  She gets upset from being held and gets even more upset if we put her down.  She wouldn't go to sleep last nigh but was better at nap time today - although it was a very short nap comparatively to her usual 2.5 hours. 

I think it's looking like I may have to man up for this one and hope it passes soon!

Thanks for the virtual support, knowing that you aren't the only one whose child does things like this helps a lot! xx

[Scottishmummy]

Could it be teeth?

Or a developmental thing? Learning news skills? There is a leap around this age?

Or any changes in her day? Starting daycare etc that could be throwing her off?

[tathi-b]

I can't figure it out.  She is teething yes, 2 big teeth and 2 little ones all at the same time, but the night it all went wrong I gave her Calpol and Brufen and it didn't help her. 

I'm starting to think that it could be a growth spurt that's thrown her off or it was a night terror that made her afraid to go to sleep? If only they could tell us what is bothering them?!

On the first night we were up for several hours (it feels like all night!) and on the second night she didn't want to go to sleep, took me an hour to settle her.  On the third night (last night) she went down fine but stirred a few times in the night and all I had to do was put her dummy in her hand and pat her bottom a few times for reassurance.  Looks like we are at the other end of this one.  Very out of character behavior for her but it's disappearing now with no explanation as to why it even started.  I'm going to log this one as weird toddler behavior!

Thanks so much for helping me through it! xx