Author Topic: Almost 2.5 year old night wakings plus room switch  (Read 1916 times)

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Offline iviolinist

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Almost 2.5 year old night wakings plus room switch
« on: January 20, 2017, 20:36:35 pm »
My daughter is almost 2 1/2. She has always been an excellent napper, but has also always been very hit or miss on her nighttime sleeping. I cannot figure out any rhyme and reason to the nights she does happen to sleep most of the night and the ones that doesn't. She wakes up during the night whether she had a nap or not so I don't feel that shortening or eliminating her nap (usually about 1.5 - 2 hrs) is going to make a difference.

She slept in our room (in her own bed) for her first few months. She did a dream feeding for about 6 or 7 months, but started sleeping on her belly when she was about 3 or 4 months so she was always wide awake for the dream feed after that. As she got older, I would nurse her back to sleep when she woke at night because I knew it would put her back to sleep. When left to CIO, she would be awake for hours. We still would let her CIO, but it would be literally HOURS. Not always crying the whole time, but definitely awake the whole time. I'm pretty sure that I stopped nighttime nursing when she about 18 months, but I'm not entirely certain. She stopped nursing completely at 21 months, but by then she was only nursing before bed.

Once the nighttime nursing session was eliminated, I tried to stop going in to see her when she woke. I tried to let her put herself back to sleep. (She sucks her fingers.) She rarely cries when she's up, but will stay awake for hours talking and laughing. She moved from a crib to a bed right after she turned 2 and that seemed to help for a little while, but she eventually went back to waking up and talking. For awhile, I would sometimes go in and change her diaper and that would sometimes help her go back to sleep. But I eventually stopped doing that a few months ago.

Now, we have our 3rd child coming in April and she has been moved into the same bedroom as her 5 1/2 year old brother. For the past few days, she will still have not fallen asleep for hours after we leave her. (We put him to bed first and he is always asleep within 15 minutes, max.) She will wake up in the middle of the night and start talking and laughing and eventually to try to crawl into bed with her brother. At first, we told her that room is for Big Kids and she had to sleep like a Big Girl. We would give her a warning after the first time she woke up and then move her out of the room and onto a cot (portable camping bed, not a crib) in the nursery if she was talking again. But now we think she likes the cot and doesn't want to sleep in the same room as her brother. She likes being in the room with him, but wants to play with him, not to sleep. There is a night light in his room, but not in hers. Part of me feels like this could be contributing to the problem, but removing the night light is not an option as our son is terrified of the dark and will not sleep without it. (He will start screaming and crying in the middle of the night if he wakes up and it's not on.)

My son has always been a great sleeper and he will sleep through her talking at the beginning of the night, but if he gets woken up after about 4am, he won't go back to sleep so he's just up for the day at that point.

What ideas do you have for what we can do to help eliminate these nighttime wakings and/or make it more desirable to stay in the big kid room? I'm thinking of taking the cot out of the nursery and putting a crib in there instead so that she will have to sleep in that if she is taken out of her bed. (The hope being that she won't want to sleep in the crib so she will behave better so she can stay in her bed.) But the problem there is that she DOES have to sleep in a crib when she spends the night at her grandparents' houses so I'm concerned that if I tell her cribs are for babies that she won't want to sleep in them anymore when she's not at home.

We also started her on potty training only a couple of days after this room switch, but she has been doing really well with that so I'm reluctant to believe that it's too many changes. I feel like she would have also rebelled against potty training if that was the case.

I have a huge pile of sleep training books from the library to scour so any input is appreciated!!

Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: Almost 2.5 year old night wakings plus room switch
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2017, 14:52:01 pm »
Hi!

It sounds like a tricky situation, juggling 2 kids' different needs and anticipating ba 3rd!

Just to check, how does she fall asleep now? Independently now or with your help? Sorry if you have said this above and I've missed it.

My first thoughts that it sounds like she could be UT at BT, hence taking ages to sleep and waking chatty and wanting to play in the night. I know you write that you have tried nap and no nap. How consistently was the shortened/no nap? It just sounds like she is making up for loss of night sleep by still taking a 2hr nap in the day. This link might be helpful: The 1-0 transition...Advice and Tips to help you through.

How long has she been sharing with her big brother? Could she still be adjusting to the novelty? Would it be possible to put her in the shared room in a cot until she gets used to being in same room so at least she's not getting out/crawling on him, then doing move to a bed once she starts sleeping better in the shared room?
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline iviolinist

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Re: Almost 2.5 year old night wakings plus room switch
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2017, 03:14:09 am »
Thanks so much for the reply!

Yes, our thinking is that she's not tired enough at bedtime so we have tried to give her more activity after her nap, but that doesn't seem to have made a difference yet. Before the room switch, she fell asleep on her own (eventually). After making the switch, my husband has started cuddling with her before bedtime to help her get more sleepy as well as give our son more time to fall asleep. She does not always fall asleep during this cuddle time, though, so she still puts herself to sleep. (As a baby, we were always careful to put her to sleep awake.)

Shortened / no nap is very sporadic. Like yesterday, she only napped for 45 minutes, but today it was 2 hours. It depends on what she does on her own. I have never tried to enforce any changes to her nap. As much as I don't want to give up naptime, I remember our son being up until 9pm when he was ready to give up his nap. But at least he was consistent about that! It's the lack of a consistent response from her that is so frustrating!

The kids have only been sharing a room for two weeks. (A very long two weeks!) It is definitely still a novelty! I will mention the cot in the shared room to my husband and see what he thinks.

Thanks for the insights!

Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: Almost 2.5 year old night wakings plus room switch
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2017, 07:03:06 am »
More activity before bed can help. I think I would consider trying to give her some consistency with nap.  Some LOs (like your son) self regulate and maintain consistency through transitions. Some, need more parental help to give structure. I think I'd try shortening hernap. Decide a maximum length and stick with that for a week. Maybe try 1.5 hrs max? If you are still getting BT refusal & NWs after the week, cut to 1hr? That should give her less daysleep more awake time until bed & hopefully tire her out enough to get a good sleep.

 If still getting messing at BT and NWs gradually shave off 15mins weekly after that until you find the nap length that refreshes her enough to get to BT but doesn't interfere as much with her ONS. 

Cot in the shared room might help until you get new nap routine established?
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline iviolinist

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Re: Almost 2.5 year old night wakings plus room switch
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2017, 13:50:52 pm »
Thanks! She does have a set naptime and routine, but I do think we are going to start shortening it and see if that helps. Her naptime right now is 1:30 - 3:30, though she is sometimes ready for it as early as 12:30. We are going to try the 1.5 hr nap and wake her by 3:00 and see if that helps since bedtime is 7:00.

Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: Almost 2.5 year old night wakings plus room switch
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2017, 20:39:39 pm »
Sounds like a plan. Good luck.
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD