Author Topic: Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old  (Read 1852 times)

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Offline Abbottscat

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Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old
« on: January 24, 2017, 10:05:20 am »
Hi everyone - firstly I've used these boards for so much advice since my son was born so thank you. I've registered because I'm hoping someone can help me sort out our days a bit. I'm sorry if my post is a bit confusing, I've really struggling with anxiety since having my little boy and it can make me obsess about the details a little bit.

Up until recently my son wasn't great overnight, he was still feeding several times and could be hard to settle. I recently stopped breastfeeding and at the same time he dropped his overnight feeds and so now he generally wakes once or twice and can be settled with a few strokes on his back which is great but our days are sometimes a real struggle. My whole day is defined by how his naps go and if they don't go well I spend a lot of time trying to decide what to do differently the next day. Our routine looks vaguely like this:

6 / 6.30 Awake
6.30 Bottle
7. 15 Breakfast
Playtime
9.30 Nap - depends when he woke up. If he was up at 6 it's often nearer 9am but I try to hold out until at least 9 if we can.
10 / 10.30 Wake
Play time
12 - Lunch
1 / 1.30 Nap - if he only has 30 mins in the morning this is more like 12.30 or he's too tired.
2 / 2.30 Wake
Playtime
3 - Bottle
If he's only had two 30 min naps he has a catnap at 4.30, otherwise:
5 - Tea
6 - Upstairs for either playtime or bath time
6.30 Bottle, Book, Bed. Asleep by 7

We used PU/PD for bedtime a while ago so now he goes into his cot awake but clearly sleepy and wriggles around then settles. For nap times he has his dummy in while I read him a story and he falls asleep then I put him down - this doesn't seem to affect whether he has 30 minutes or 1hr +.

There's just no consistency. For example he went down nicely this morning at 9.25 but has already woken up, so now he'll be tired at lunch time which makes it quite stressful. On other days he might nap for an hour plus in the morning, but then some of the advice I've been given is to limit that morning nap so that he sleeps after lunch because it's rare that we get a long nap out of him post lunch. He tends to be reasonably cheerful after half an hour in the morning but if he only has half an hour after lunch he's miserable. I don't know whether to decide on nap times and stick to them to teach his body it's time for sleep, but if he only has a short nap he'll get over tired. I really think two chunky naps would suit him better because getting him to take that catnap is a nightmare even if he's clearly shattered and I think it then gives us a worse night.

Any thoughts / suggestions?

Thanks

Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2017, 22:02:36 pm »
Hi and welcome to BW!

Inconsistency in the first year is really normal.  Frustrating but normal.  BW doesn't recommend set naps at this age but I know people IRL who have followed other approaches who found doing that suited them and their baby.

There isn't a right or wrong, just different options and you go woth what suits you and your LO.  Your routine looks pretty typical (& good) for a LO going through 3-2 transition. 9mo is a little later than typical to do this but not unheard of.

It also sounds like he's getting the hang of falling asleep independently really well.

Honestly I think everything you describe sounds really normal and your routine looks good. If your LO has a shorter am nap, just move after lunch one a little earlier.  If you get a short pm nap, try aCN, even if you need to AP it, but if he won't take he CN, bring bedtime a bit earlier. At this age I'd expect 2 naps, either same length or maybe one shorter and one longer.

I hope that's reassuring,  please come back if you want to chat thing through some more.



« Last Edit: January 24, 2017, 22:05:08 pm by Scottishmummy »
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline Abbottscat

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Re: Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2017, 22:24:28 pm »
Hi Scottishmummy, thanks so much for replying. He's actually 9.5 months! I really thought we'd turned a corner just after Christmas, some chunky naps and more restful nights and now it's unravelling again. I feel like I'm failing. This afternoon I was fed up of sitting with him in my arms while he scratched at my face to fall asleep but if I put him down he started bouncing around and giggling. He then fell asleep on my shoulder then woke 30 minutes later.

My husband has been doing the night wakings this past week as I'm still uncomfortable from stopping breastfeeding and so could do with not comforting a thrashy baby and he just asked me what we're going to do about him waking more often at the moment. I thought it was teething but maybe it's his daytime sleep? Sometimes he wakes crying then settles himself with his dummy but that's few and far between at the moment. Hope this all makes sense!

Offline Abbottscat

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Re: Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2017, 22:28:14 pm »
Just to add, I've tried so hard not to worry because I know their needs are constantly changing and I don't want to waste the last few weeks of my maternity leave trying to implement a routine which will go out the window when he starts nursery, but today we had two thirty minute naps and a car snooze and it was such a hard day and I'm not anticipating a fun night! (although we did just have tears and he's gone back to sleep...for now)

Offline laura034

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Re: Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2017, 16:40:47 pm »
Hi, I just wanted to offer some support and hugs as your post sounds exactly like my second and third sons I know really well how frustrating and upsetting the 30min naps are especially when you have to entertain an exhausted baby who clearly needs more sleep but just won't sleep enough no matter what you do! I became really obsessed with my sons naps to the point that I couldn't stop thinking about them and ended up on anti anxiety meds! You are doing a great job!! What I learnt with my second son is that getting out of the house with them as much as you can will distract you from thinking too much about schedules and baby will be entertained. I also learned that as hard as it is now it will pass my second son started to nap better when he went to one nap at around 18 months old. The short naps never harmed him and he's a great sleeper now.
I was hoping my third son would be a great napper but no we have the 30min naps again I'm trying not to get as stressed about it but it is really annoying. Take care of yourself
Laura x

Offline Reethepea

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Re: Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2017, 19:17:01 pm »
Hi, just wanted to say I also have a feisty 9.5 month old, who sometimes sleeps like a dream and sometimes gives me grey hair. I like you used to get very anxious about naps and I now realise I'm a bit of a control freak 🤓. However I recently returned to work and realised I can't control everything all I can do is try my hardest to read my baby and give her the opportunity to nap. How long she naps for and if she falls back asleep after that dreaded 30 min nap are beyond my control.

Last Thursday my dd did exactly what your baby did- 2 30 min naps 😩I had the school run to do and dd1 had a friend coming for tea. I knew we would just have to roll with it. I dreaded bedtime but it was ok. Really not as bad as my head had envisaged.

Plus they have just entered another wonderweek so I know things might get a bit crazy. Big hugs from one nap obsessed mum to another x
DD 1- Spirited- July 2012

DD 2- Angel/Touchy April 2016

Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2017, 21:37:30 pm »
As others helpfully say, you are not doing anything wrong and certainly are not failing. There is a big developmental leap amd sleep regression around this age that can throw naps and nights right off for a short while.
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Offline Abbottscat

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Re: Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2017, 21:35:01 pm »
Thanks everyone. It really helps to know it's not just me. In my NCT group the babies either nap well or if they don't the other mums don't seem to worry. Today he went down at 12.50 then woke at 1.20. He was easily rocked back to sleep but wouldn't let me put him down so I decided sleep was worth being incapacitated and let him snooze on me and he stayed asleep until 2.20. Makes me think he does want a long afternoon nap so wondering whether I've got the strength to do some work on it next week to work out his ideal A times and get him going down in his cot. I'm not sure I can cope with the tears at the moment though, especially with the broken nights. Thanks again for the reassurance.
« Last Edit: January 27, 2017, 01:43:50 am by Abbottscat »

Offline laura034

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Re: Short naps and a lack of routine for 9.5 month old
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2017, 15:20:50 pm »
Hi, I do similar with Oliver. After his second 30min nap if I get to him quick I can breastfeed him back to sleep but as you say I'm stuck there with him but at least he is in a better mood for the rest of the day and I get to put my feet up sometimes I fall asleep too 😀 I'm hoping eventually he will learn how to get through his sleep cycles on his own. I know I'm not much help but you're not alone. Laura x