Baby cries all day with dad. Help!!

[candieshop22]

I really need some advice. My 7 month old daughter will not stay at home with dad. She is fine with dad when I am home and she plays with him and she's great. As soon as I leave he can't put her down or she starts screaming like someone is beating her. She won't stop. He HAS to be holding her. He can't even sit right in front of her, has to be held.  What can we do?? It is non stop all day. Why does she do this? He has always been just as involved with her as I have from the day we brought her home. This started when she was about 5 months old. Can someone help?

[Lindsay27]

Hugs hun!  We had a similar situation with our DD but it started from birth and lasted until she was about 4 months old.  She wouldn't let DH hold her, give her a bottle, put her down for a nap or BT, she'd just scream the house down.  It was really disheartening, I know how you feel, and I was so terrified that she would never develop a relationship with DH.  I don't have much advise other than for us, it just got better with time.  You are kind of entering peak phase for separation anxiety so that could definitely be playing a role.  Huge hugs!! xx

[candieshop22]

Thanks for the response, I just wish I knew how to get her to stop. We have 4 children between us and she is the baby. Others are 17, 9 and 6. She is the only one we have had this issue with.

[cath~]

Not been in exact same situation, but both my dds had quite a lot of SA as babies and toddlers.  I agree with pp that a lot of it will be about time for your lo to learn that it's just as ok/safe with your DH as it is with you.

I think Los learn that kind of thing quicker (although it can still take a while) where we respond when they ask for us (eg to be held) by providing what they're asking for. That way they learn that we (your DH in this case) *are* there for them whenever they ask/need us.  Some Los just need to "check" this kind of thing many more times than others though, before they feel secure and confident enough to be a bit more independent.

Denying them what they ask for can just make them feel less secure and ask for it even more.

It's hard but I'd say the best advice to your DH is just to stick with it and keep giving your DD cuddles/holding when she asks for it, as much as he can, so she can learn to trust him like she trusts you.  Has he considered using a baby carrier when he needs to get things done?