18 Week Old Eating/Sleeping Balance - I'm SOOO TIRED!

[hynygirl]

I don't know if this is the appropriate board to post to so will post elsewhere if needed. 
A bit of backstory...
Our 18wo is waking in the night a lot. She has a soother for sleep only, which has become a prop (we'll be stopping it's use very soon), She sometimes wakes just for her soother but will want to eat twice each night - and takes a full bottle each time. I really feel she can eat more during the day but I don't know how to fix it. For example - last night I did a DF at 10 (couldn't stay up any later!) she woke at 11:50pm and after screaming bloody murder through my trying to ssh/pat I finally fed her and she drained the bottle easily.  She woke again at 2am, hubby put soother in and she woke again at 3:15am and drained another full bottle.  She then woke at 5:50am, I gave her soother and she laid cooing and singing for 30mins then started to fuss at which point my 3yo also woke (ugh) so we all just got up.
She is formula fed. She has very mild reflux, on meds, seeing a chiropractor - she's a very happy baby.  I had posted before that around 3.5months that she started eating less... I found a sticky about this topic at the same age so I think it's a phase around that age. She would eat around 18oz in a 24hr period. Weight gain has not been an issue, in fact her paediatrician said she has gained more then the daily average.  She just finished up her 4th leap and we are in "sunny days".  She has upped her intake of formula and is now taking about 25oz in a 24hour period. Part of the problem is she will take 2 full feeds in the night and I can't get her to drink more during the day.  Here's our typical day lately (today's early wake up is not typical)

E  7:30am
A 8-9:30am
S 9:30-10:45

E 10:45
A 11-12:15
S 12:15-1:15

E 1:15
A 1:30-2:30
S 2:45-4

E 4
A 4:15-5:30
S 5:30 catnap till 6:10
We do quite play while getting ready for bath/bedtime routine
E 6:50/7 and straight to bed.

I usually DF at 10:30 but honestly have only found a handful of times as of late that it makes a difference - she still wakes only a couple hours later and will drink a full bottle. 
Daytime feedings are getting better but mid-day feeds she will typically only drink 2-2.5oz and I cannot get her to take more.  I'm at a total loss how to up her daytime intake so she doesn't need so much at night. I've been slowly trying to transition her to a 3.5/4 hour EASY, she can definitely go 4 hours without eating and at times she'll go that long and still only take 2-3 oz.  She will flat out refuse the bottle after.  I've tried giving her a break.. change her diaper and come back to it but she still refuses.  Do I change her daytime schedule? Her Dr recommended for the reflux I feed her more often with less quantities.. I just don't see how to fit this in.. and I don't find her reflux to be overly severe, so I'm kind of afraid to do that in fear of creating a snacking problem.
Any tips on increasing her daytime intake or decreasing her nighttime?

[trishr]

Hello,

I am sending you hugs as I am going through similar nighttime issues and the tiredness is no joke.  It is so hard to see straight on fixing something when you are exhausted and my heart goes out to you!

While I may not have a perfect solution, I do have a couple thoughts that might help.  My DD is also 18 weeks and fully on the 4 hour routine for about 3 weeks now.  I tried to stretch from a 3 to 4 hour routine in increments as suggested in the book and it didn't work.  Most days she still wouldn't eat a ton at each feed and it was affecting nighttime.  So I just bumped her straight from3 to 4 hours.  Not sure if this is best idea but it worked for us.  She was hungry at each feed.  Now, if she woke and was hungrier before 4 hours, I of course fed her early.  After about a week or so, she truly started going 4 hours throughout the day.  This allowed me to get more into her.  I am not sure how many ounces since I BF but I am assuming about 5 since that is about what she eats when I do have to step out and someone else gives her a bottle. 

Do you think stretching her feeds more might help?  I am not sure why she is not taking a full feed.  Is she distracted or just seeming not hungry?  If it is hunger, this might help solve it. 

I also just read a post titled, "21 week old, NW and EWs" on this same board.  I do not know how to post you a link to it but if you look on this board it is towards the top.  It gave me the final suggestion which I am now going to take for myself.  It has to do with cluster feeding at night and skipping DF which I think you might be finding challenging as well if I understood correctly.  Once you are able to get more ounces in a day, the CF or DF or both should help her extend that night sleep.  It will just be a matter of figuring out which method or combo of methods for end of day work best for you.

Hang in there and hopefully someone else will have some more ideas for you as well!

[hynygirl]

Thank you so much for your response trishr!  I am totally with you on the 4 hour routine, we had started moving it that direction a couple weeks ago but so many issues popped up all at the same time that our entire routine got completely thrown out of whack.
 I think when we transitioned my now 3 yo she did the same as your little one and just moved right over to a 4 hour rather then bumping it slowly.  I'm going to take your advice here and try that...

However a new bump in the road is her naps have completely dissolved into nothing haha.  I'm really hoping this is just a 4 month sleep regression and have posted on the Naps forum.. but I'll see if you might have insight?
For the last 3-4 days she wakes.. I mean completely wakes after 40mins sleep, I've snuck in at 30 mins to try to catch her while she is just starting to stir and put her soother in but there was no stirring, her eyes just popped open and she started to sing and coo. There has been no getting her back to sleep after this, try as I may, and believe me I have tried! Someone suggested she may be UT but I don't think that's the case, she is awake 1.75-2hrs in the morning and her eyes shut as soon as her head hits the pillow, she is definitely tired!
She just rolled for the first time today (from back to tummy) and the singing and cooing is new as well, she will do this before going to sleep sometimes, my oldest did the same, I think it's her way of self-soothing but it's as if she doesn't quite know how to get back to sleep after. So I'm really hoping she's just going through a developmental thing and sleep changes and we'll eventually get back on track.  Currently I feel as though we have no routine.  I am trying to focus on keeping her feedings normal, and for the past 2 days she has eaten more during the day.  I've done one full feed at night  and decreased the 2nd feed by only offering 2 oz.  I will work on sleep once once her feeding is stabilized!

I do believe I saw the same post you mentioned, I'll refer back to it.  Again, thank you for your support and I wish you some sleep as well!