6 week old - HELP Please!!

[my_tribe]

Hi mamas! My LO is 6 weeks and I have a 2.5 year old daughter. I've been following an EASY routine with my 6 week old from the beginning. I'm really needing some input And encouragment I'm not sure how to sleep train with my toddler needing me too.

Over the last couple of weeks naps have been a real struggle unless I'm holding LO. He will barely nap in the car seat either. I'm trying to keep awake time at 45mins-an hour but thats almost impossible because nursing is taking that long alone. Ive been doing a wind down routine. Swaddle with the Miricle blanket, sound machine, Cuddles in the rocking chair before I lay him down drowsy.

Most times LO is so adjetated during winddown and is rooting. He normally doesn't get to the calm drowsy state. He just goes from fussing to eyes closed/asleep. I've tried nursing just to make sure he's not hungry but he refuses. He will be calm if I give him the pascifer but then when I lay him down he wakes up constantly when it falls out and won't go back to sleep with out it. He seems to be really struggling to get into a deep sleep.

Without the pascifer he won't fall asleep on his own during the day. The last couple of days shush pat hasn't been working eithervand I've had to hold him till he's fully asleep and then lay him down although he usually wakes up around 30 -45 mins sometimes sooner. We are both so tired!

[jessmum46]

Hi and congrats on your new one!  You have a similar age gap to my two (now quite a bit older!)

This age is exhausting, especially with a toddler too, and I think the best thing you can do for yourself is relax your expectations . DS slept most of his first 10 weeks, and quite a bit beyond that in the sling, pram or car, and that honestly helped keep us all sane!  We could get out to toddler groups, I didn't have to spend forever trying to settle, and it allowed us to concentrate on the emotional needs of DD which were arguably more important than the very physical needs of the baby.  Obviously they need feeding, changing etc!  But realising that independent sleep is the end goal, not the be all and end all from day one, is very liberating.  Or at least I found it so!

We started trying for one nap a day in bed when possible, but I set a time limit on settling of 15 mins or so and if it wasn't happening, got DS up and stuck him in the sling.  15 mins for the toddler to watch a DVD was ok I figured, but probably not all day!!  I also consciously decided to accept short naps and not bother trying a resettle unless it was clearly going to be quick and easy.  Ironically DS is actually a far better napper than DD ever was!  I didn't do shh pat in the textbook way either, as long as DS was happy in bed I left him to it and never tried to 'put' him to sleep unless he clearly needed help.  Always the mindset of 'do the minimum'.  I wanted and needed him to be an independent sleeper eventually but I figured putting the time in at 4/6/8 weeks was lots of time for little reward, by leaving it a bit later and out of the fourth trimester phase he got the hang of it pretty quickly.

I hope that's some use or encouragement!