Thank you so much for your detailed reply. I actually forgot to update on ome of the things you mentioned.
I was messing up (and still am in some ways) because I didn't stick to the routine...that first week I still let him sleep in my arms because I could see he was going through developmental changes that made him get up many times at night (3-7times to every single hour) and be extra clingy.
Saturday was a bad day since I was busy and husband woke him up after 10mins of sleep and I didn't get to him until around 1pm. So I let him sleep on me on Sunday for one final time. I let him sleep in and then did an early nap 1 (after 2-2.5hrs) which he slept for 2.5hrs. Then the second nap after 3hrs for 1hr. Then bedtime was close to 8pm, I believe.
You're absolutely right. I NEED to stick to the times and not be so soft. Today (Wednesday I am, hopefully).
Just to update,
1. I started ST again on Sunday night. Just PD and my mantra phrase which I am phasing out. So I do our routine, kiss, put in bed while saying it's sleep time and touch his back. Then I do the mantra "it's sleep time" if he cries. If he sits up I put him down. If he cries hard, I've been saying "I'm here with you. You're fine".
2. He doesn't take too long to sleep. It's down to about 20mins for BT now. N2 is always worst than N1.
Monday (slept on his bed with no help or w2s from me)
1027-1130 (without help...then he fell asleep on me while feeding until 1230)
340-509 (I wanted to wake him at 430pm but got busy...then I wanted to see if he could do 1.5hrs by himself. I was surprised since he slept a lot for nap1, though with my help)
(woke up every 2hrs because of the cold...I think)
Wednesday (so far)
To answer youre questions...
1. It's hard to say. Night time is usually only 11hrs for him (although with my help he can sleep in to get to 12hrs). Then I have to minus all the wakes ups...it's around 3 for normal days now but can be two. If he wakes up to feed at 5am, he'll wake at 6am and then 7 something. If at 6am, then up for 7something. He seems awake while nursing at night, so I can take 1hr off that too total. With ST, it seems 1hr is his average sleep...although it's still the start. Last time it went from 1hr15 to 1hr to 45 to 30mins.
I'm hopeful, though.
2. Yes, I'm willing. I'll post what happens today. Please suggest a good bedtime and wake time and I'll try to stick to it for the next 2 weeks. From the start, I tried to make BT between 7pm and 730pm...but when he started fussing more he got to 8pm+. Then he wants to sleep in in the morning and wont want to wake up even if I turn on the lights.
3. Ok, I'll try to push the a times to 3hr30mins and see if he sleeps longer. I know he can do it. When I first started STing (end of month 8, I think), he dropped the third nap and would sleep for 2hrs in my arms and 1hr for n2. The last week, I let him sleep in my arms and he was doing 2-2.5 hrs in my arms for nap 1. On his bed, he never napped for more than 1hr on average (except yesterday's nap2!)
4. Whenever he sleeps for 1hr on his bed, he always tries to sleep again on me after waking.
ETA: I'm still looking into what's happening at night because each night there was something that happened that might have disturbed his sleep...cold, husband coming into the apartment, etc. So I'm not sure if he's waking up from habit or external reasons, although I think it's the latter. For all sleep times, I've been doing the same mantra phrase until he quiets down, then for a bit, then I leave and listen. For this last nap, I said it maybe 3 times, then left. He cried out and stopped. Then made a noise. Then I didn't hear anything after that. Does this mean he's an IS now? I hardly touch him nowadays.