Thank you so much for your attention and willingness to help us.
I read all the information. The last thread was very helpful as the situation is so similar.
I watched every day the different times at which my LO eats and sleeps. So during the day he is ok with 2 naps, but if the second one is short (30 min) he needs another small one before night sleep. Lately the night sleep is ok - he wakes 2 or 3 times, BF and go back to sleep.
Here are the E/A/S times for a few days:Day 1
5:45 wake up + BF but couldn't asleep.
7 am - tired, 7:30 - sleep till 8:45
9:15 - solids (170 grams)
10:45 - asleep with help of breast
11:30 - awake in very good mood
12 - solids (just a little)
14 - asleep with breast, 14:35 - awake, but I helped him to continue sleeping by rocking
15:50 - fully awake
17 - solids (125 gr)
19 - bath, massage, BF
20-20:30 - totally asleep
0 (midnight) - BF
3:20 - BF
5:30-5:45 - awake, BF (just a little), couldn't fall asleep although he seems really sleepy
6:30 he wanted to sleep already but couldn't and start crying. I was next to him trying to comfort him but he is stretching arms, kicking legs.
7:15 - finally helped him fall asleep till 8 am
8:30 - solids
10 - sleep till 11(with breast)
12:30 - solids
13:30-14 - sleep
14-16:30 - very active
16:30 - sleep 17 - continue sleeping with help of breast
17:30- awake + solids
19 - bath, massage, sleep
Midnight - BF
2:30 - BfDay 3
5:30-6 - Bf, seems sleepy but can't fall asleep
7-8 - sleep
8:30 - solid
10-10:30 - sleep
11:30 -solid (180 gr)
12:30- BF + sleep till 14
14:30 - solid just a little
16-16:30 - Bf + sleep (just half an hour)
19 - bath, massage, sleep
00:30 - BF
3:30 - BF
I know it's irregular and it mostly depends on his day naps. I think I make some progress because from little baby till maybe 2 weeks ago during the day he always slept in my arms (or his father's). If we leave him somewhere else, he wakes up in bad mood and can't continue sleeping. So in order to get some sleep I hold him. But now he doesn't want so much physical contact and he is able to sleep next to me in bed without being in my arms. So now when I see him yawn and start to fuss, we go to our bedroom, make it darker, put him on our bed, lie next to him and start massaging his back and head + singing. I also give him paci. A few times I was able to make him fall asleep in this way, it takes me 20-30 min. But most of the time at some point he starts crying, I can't calm him, so I BF him and he falls asleep. And I should stay in the room because after 30 min exactly he is awake and first I put again my arm on his back/ head massaging him, rocking his body and he continues sleeping. If couldn't make him sleep, BF again and continue sleeping. So the whole nap will be 1-1 1/2 hour. Sometimes it's impossible and he sleeps only 30 min but after that I can see he is not well rested.Nights
- 18:45-19 we start with bath, then massage, then turn off lights (only a little night lamp) and BF. Almost every time he falls asleep whilst BF. Then I gently put him in his cot (it's still in our bedroom), but he is awake after 30 - 60 min. I pick him up, he falls asleep again and if I put him back in his cot he wakes up almost immediately (I tried several times). Sometimes I try a lot of times to put him in his cot when he is asleep in my arms but he always wakes up immediately or after 30 min. In the end I'm so tired, I take him in our bed again. For maybe 4-5 months we (3 of us) sleep together in the nights. If LO is in our bed there are no sleep issues, he sleeps till midnight, then BF and sleeps again till 2:30-3:30 when Bf. Then it's perfect if he wakes up at 7 because after that his 1st nap is around 9-9:30. But most of the time he wakes up at 5:30-6 - BF but he cant continue sleeping, so he plays a little with us and after max an hour he is very sleepy, starts to fuss, cries because he cant soothe himself and with a lot of efforts I succeed in making him sleep at around 7 till 8.Problems
Day naps are really a nightmare. Now he doesn't want me to rock him in my arms. He stretches his arms, kicking legs and arching his back, he even starts crying because he just can't fall asleep. He takes out his paci ( if he's asleep with it, after some time it just falls out of his mouth but it doesn't bother him). So almost nothing can calm him. That's why I use BF as a way to make him sleep - it's still working but I am afraid that one day it won't work and that's the reason I want to teach him soothe and falls asleep by himself. After he is asleep sometimes he stretches his arms just to touch me as if he is checking if I am still there. And after all this preparation to fall asleep he sleeps just 30 min and I should be there to help him for the transition.Health
He is in good health. He had some stomach problems as a little baby. That's why he get used to sleep in my arms - it was the only way to get some sleep but now everything is fineGoals
1. I am sure that if I start routine, it will be better for him and me
2. Day naps - want to learn him soothe and sleep by himself and in his cot. Maybe routine will help.
3. Night sleep - again in his cot and in the future in his own room but I can be patient, I know it's a long process. One more thing - I'm not sure if he really needs these 2-3 night BF, if he's hungry it's ok for me to continue breastfeeding him, but sometimes he doesn't really feed active, he just uses my breast as paci.
My husband will help me through the whole process. Our LO slept in his arms a lot of times. He doesn't sing to him, he can only speak to him when it's time for sleep. So we are wondering if the rituals before day naps should be the same when I put LO to sleep and when my husband.
We can try the shh/pat method, but without "shhh" - maybe just singing or talking, maybe we should have some key words and instead of patting maybe massaging, no rocking. What about the paci? I give it to LO when I want to tell him it's sleep time and when he starts crying, should we stop using it?
I am also afraid that LO will not be able to calm down before day nap, he'll be arching his back, etc. Maybe I should use the gentle removal plan for the BF for day naps.
Thanks in advance to everybody who will see this post and help me build the best routine and teach my LO to fall asleep by himself in his cot.