10 month old sleep gone completely to pot!

[Sleepymum2]

My 10 month old and I both now seem to have permanent bags under our eyes and I'm hating having a short temper with my toddler as a result, so I'm hoping someone can help me!

He's never been a great sleeper but we had finally got to the point of a decent routine, self settling, with the occasional sleep through the night but then 2 weeks ago it all seemed to fall apart (I'm assuming 9 month asleep regression, mobility development etc, as he is now crawling and starting to cruise)

He has never figured out how to suck his thumb,isn't interested in dummies / a  comfort toy, etc but somehow he had figured out a way of getting himself to sleep (possibly by waving his head around!?) but he's now deteriorated to the point where only feeding or some serious cuddling can get him to sleep at night and whether I do that then put him in his cot fully unconscious or occasionally manage to get him to fall asleep in his cot he more often than not wakes crying after 15-40 minutes. He's been in our bed for part of the last few nights out of desperation, but even then he needs full on cuddling back to sleep regularly.

I don't know how to get anywhere with the gentle sleep training methods as I can't get beyond step 1 (neither can my husband so it's not just that I smell of milk!) and when left to cry he ends up vomiting, sometimes after only 15 minutes.

Naps have also become a nightmare, lasting 20 minutes - 1 hour at very best.

His routine was:
7am wake
Bf and breakfast
9:30-10 sleep
11:30 lunch
1-2:30 sleep
2:30 Bf
5 tea
7 bed

But there is now no routine to speak of!

Any help very much appreciated (and apologies for the long post)!

[ginger428]

Hi there and welcome to BW.

I know this stage is TOUGH.  I've been there!

As you probably know, BW does not support cry it out methods. Which gentle sleep training methods were you referring to and what was step 1?

You're right that it is a huge developmental phase and the good news is that it should pass in a few weeks, especially after mastering crawling and cruising.  Meanwhile, here is an overview of what to try during the milestones and below is a technique to try. My son required a lot of reassurance and physical touch at this stage.  As a spirited kid he resisted a lot! Give lots of attention and cuddles during the day, and help him practice.  We started by using the modified pick up/put down strategy at bedtime but then ended up sleeping next to his crib to help him through initially and get some sleep ourselves!
 
Developmental Milestones

How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations)

I'm adding this link to remind you what NOT to do. It will take twice as long with intermittent reinforcement, so you can try again when you're ready.
The dirty dozen:  12 reasons PU/PD won't work

[Sleepymum2]

Thanks for the reply, and always good to know your child isn't the only one!!

We've been trying gradual retreat but he just screams if he's anywhere other than being held, and now that he can pull up he stands in his cot wailing and looking at you with panic eyes! I keep making excuses (he's currently got a cold, I think he's teething...) but I kinda feel like there is always going to be SOMETHING to stop you sleep training right??

I might ride it out a little longer then try the pupd approach and just accept it's going to be a good amount of time sat by the cot of a sad baby..  Main issue (aside from my sanity) is that the husband is happy with cry it out and unkeen top keep having no sleep / have no evenings while we try and teach him and things like pupd tend to take longer don't they?

How quickly did your little one get through it - how long were you sleeping by his cot?

[ginger428]

To be completely honest, I think the cold has to pass, teething pain under control, and you and hubby agreeing to try/do the exact same thing for it to work. If poor thing is upset to the point of vomiting, then you really have to regain his trust or else it will be much harder to sleep train. He will resist more bc of fear of being left alone.

For us, we EBF and at that point still had 2 NFs. It was probably habitual and just like your LO, he had to be held.  It took about a solid 5 days for him to get the hang of pu/pd, but bc he would get hysterical, I stayed on the floor for another week or so and slowly phased that out. All in all it probably a few weeks but when he slept on his own, it was wonderful. There was crying involved during the process but I never left his side.

I think you have the right idea to ride the cold out, and get teething pain under control. We usually use motrin at night when I see inflammed gums and whites poking under gums. And another dose 6 hrs later.

Talk to husband about it and set a date to start after his cold resolves.  If he's not on board even then, I suggest you get well rested right before and treck through it. Let me know what you think and we're definitely here to help you through this. You're not alone.