Trouble sleeping almost 4 year old

[Chloevalentine]

My almost 4 year old is struggling with sleep lately. He's always had a bedtime routine and fell asleep quickly without any problems. But lately he's not falling sleep coming downstairs getting out of bed calling for us. His bedtime is getting later causing him to sleep later in the morning where I have to wake him for school. He's also waking at night which is what's concerning me. He'll wake crying during the night some nights a few times. This is a kid who sleeps soundly normally for 11-12 hours. We first thought he was afraid of the dark so we leave a light on but now we are having to sit with him until he falls asleep sone nights. I've tried asking him what's going on if he's scared or had a bad dream but he doesn't say. Any tips?

[Katet]

I've tried asking him what's going on if he's scared or had a bad dream but he doesn't say. Any tips?

He's a bit to young to be able to explain why.

I found that as my children got older they needed to unwind more/differently. They needed some active time (rough housing with Dad kind of stuff) to get rid of the last energy & get rid of stress in their bodies. Then it would be a small snack & time spent cuddling & reading stories & sometimes the stories were longer because I could feel they weren't quite ready to settle down... I kind of saw it like sometimes I need to read for 10mins before I can settle, sometimes I don't even read KWIM

[Chloevalentine]

Yes I agree.  Could it be he also needs a later bedtime? I've tried it but it just makes bedtime even later yk. He does play with dad before bed. But lately even with reading he's all wound up chatting and babbling that he can't sit and listen to a story. Sometimes he falls right asleep after that behavior though so it's hard to tell. Yesterday was a busy day school trip to grandmas house lots of play and activity so I don't think he's not tired enough. And the night wakings I can't figure out. This morning I'll probably have to wake him again being that his sleep was disrupted through the night and he's tired.

[Katet]

Yesterday was a busy day school trip to grandmas house lots of play and activity so I don't think he's not tired enough.

There is a difference between not being tired enough & not having released enough energy... my almost 12yo has spent the last 2 days doing Gala day carnivals (30mins on field  30mins off for 4hours) representing our district & then tonight did 2 x 1hour training sessions for 2 teams he is in (with 45mins travel in between) & in the car between training he was obviously tired, but he got home & then sat down talking to DH & saying he was tired but he needed to unwind before bed. It's kind of a case of the more active the brain gets the more time that is needed to process & unwind from the day, so a busy day makes them physically tired, but it also means the brain has had lots of stimulation so it needs chat & talk about it too.

[Chloevalentine]

That's so true!! But he's very wild and silly and can't sit still or pay attention to reading or even just chatting about our day. Maybe it's time for a little tweak in our pre bed and bedtime routine? Any other suggestions ?

[Chloevalentine]

Already had two wakings he was standing in his door talking about how he was going to get his bubbles the other time he sat up crying. I'm not sure how to help him or what's going on.

[Katet]

I'd say there is a mental developmental leap going on & its a "blip" that will quite possibly settle down. Over the years my boys have both had weird phases of sleep from night terrors to sleep walking & normally it kind of just happens here & there for a few days or a month or more & then settles back down.

[Shiv52]

We used to o god get those sort of wakings at that age when my DD2 was OT and over stimulated. A couple of long wind downs and early bedtimes settled things right down. Even now a total 6.5 she'll wake at night if she's too much going on and an early bedtime still sorts her out. It's like accumulated OT and she appears to be coping until she's not.

[Chloevalentine]

Thank you! And I've been bringing him up for bed later thinking maybe he's not tired enough at bedtime. Going to try an earlier time tonight just to see.

[Shiv52]

It's a fine balance isn't it? On the nights we do early to bed we do a nice bath and books and I just lie and snuggle her to relax her.   

[Chloevalentine]

So tonight we tried bringing him up a bit earlier having a little longer of a bath then pjs dad and I hang out in his room cuddling and reading books singing etc. same routine every night. It's now been 2 hours since we took him up for bath and he's still up. My husband stayed in his room for about 30 mins usually this helps if he's having trouble falling asleep but it didn't help. He continued to talk and sing which is fine but then he kept coming out of his room to the stairs etc. this went on for 2 hours! I'm at my wits end! And then the past few nights he's also waking during the night.

[becj86]

Just wanting to suggest this might be his way of getting some special time with you - you've a thread elsewhere about him being rough with the (relatively) new baby. I'm not sure what to suggest to help but the 4yo leap was rough for us sleep and behaviour wise even without a baby around. It might be a case of meeting him where he is, with lots of love and hugs and affirmation and knowing that this too shall pass.

[Chloevalentine]

Thank you you are right and I've been doing that. Just rough trying to remain calm and loving after 2 hours! Lol

[Chloevalentine]

I don't know how much more I can take of this. He's so wired every night babbling and singing and kicking the bed and Getting out a thousand times!!

[Chloevalentine]

Another night he's still awake at 9 pm!! Why can't he fall asleep ?