Trouble sleeping almost 4 year old

[becj86]

Hugs xx it is very frustrating when they don't sleep!

[Chloevalentine]

Last night he didn't fall asleep until 930 and was up at 630 this morning! He hadn't been up that early since he's a baby! I think it's becoming a habit now of getting out Of bed and he's so wound up every night like crazy I can't get him calm to sleep. He's obviously ot and I can't get a handle on it. Maybe he's also scared of something but I've tried everything. Night lights doors open etc.

[becj86]

That does sound like OT have you tried an earlier BT? Lots of physical play during the day may help too.

[Chloevalentine]

Yes he's getting a ton of physical play but he can't seem to wind down. We did try an earlier bedtime but he's still taking forever to fall asleep.

[Katet]

It's hard when they go through a stage of such mental alertness that they can't switch off. It might be worth seeing if a re-arrangement of the bedtime routine helps. not sure the order you do things, but we found that dinner, family time, bath or shower & then stories & bed worked best for my 2 boys. Basically the evening meal signified things were slowing down. They didn't have heaps of time between dinner & bed as we have always eaten as a family & that meant waiting for DH (or me) to get home & so for most of their lives Dinner was 6.30pm when they were little & closer to 7pm from about age 6.

[greenlady]

Hi - just some sympathy as my 5 year old is a hyper at night too.  We thought he wasn't tired as he shows no signs, no yawning, no getting cranky, still full on, but he was harder to wake up in the morning, wants to get into our bed at night and grumpier during the day.  Also, he wet the bed once or twice which is a sign from him that he is in a very deep sleep - so OT.  But, can't get him to sleep earlier - so what to do?
We worked out it was partly lighter evenings, partly a hangover from later nights during the holidays, partly jealousy of his older sister who stays up later, and just not needing so much sleep as when he was younger.   We "fixed" it by getting him really tired one weekend, so he went straight to sleep.  The next day - same thing, so the routine was restored.  Also, moved bedtime back by an hour. (8pm).  He doesn't sleep straight away when we leave the room, but he is quiet and doesn't get up.

[Chloevalentine]

His routine is always the same after dinner dad is home so they might go out to the garden or to play outside weather permitting or just play with dad and little brother in the house. Then a calm show lights low and Then up for bath (used to be 645 then 7 then 715) getting later as he gets older. But he never gives us a hard time about going up.  And after bath into his room with both of us for pjs books songs and to bed. Lately no matter what time it is or how tired or how active of a day he just can't unwind and can't listen to books just talks and jibbers and gets up a thousand times. I thought at first he washt tired enough but then I had to keep waking him in morning for school and the bedtime keeps getting later like a viscous cycle. Now it's getting to the point of ot where he's waking earlier and earlier and falling asleep later and later so I know it's not that he's not tired enough. It's just a bad habit now. Whether it's developnental or fear of the dark etc. but I wish I could nip it. It's affecting school his behavior etc.

[becj86]

Maybe try pulling BT significantly earlier for a day and see if he tacks? It works for DS which is why I suggest it but some people are then up with the larks at 4am so it can have its drawbacks. I find I put more into resettling if its 4am than 5:30/6.

[Katet]

Then a calm show lights low

I assume you are talking about TV... screen time ( blue light) close to bedtime has differing effect on people, but it is a BIG reason for children not being able to settle down & honestly you are better if you have the lights bright rather than dim if you do watch at night as people who fall asleep with TV on in dim lights don't have as restful sleep... even if they say they sleep better.
If he's really struggling, I'd cut out the TV & have some "talking time" or a board game & a few more books in his room.

[Chloevalentine]

The tv show is really just about sitting still on the sofa with us and he calms down. It's only like a 15 min show and it's really just part of the "routine". Tonight we went up at 720 after a day out in the woods fishing and had bath pjs I tried to read a book but he likes to pretend to read his own book and just talks over me so I end up not being able to read lol. Then we sang and he actually laid pretty still. I then told him I would be back to check on him in 2 mins he said ok then got up and to the stairs I quickly took him back to his bed and told hmm I'd be back to check on him but he had to stay in bed which he did. I came back and told him nice job for staying in bed and did he want me to come back to check on him again he said yes so I did and then I told him I'd come back again a little later after I washed the dishes and then he fell asleep. It's not until 830 that he's falling asleep though which is late for him but at least it wasn't a struggle and he wasn't crying coming out of the room a million times for an hour. I'll see how late he sleeps tomorrow but he has school so I'll need to wake him. Maybe my new tactic of checking on him is working! Fingers crossed.

[*Liz*]

My DD was like this, and even at almost 7 it can take her ages to fall asleep. We just taught her to stay in bed and chatter to her toys, but she will call from time to time.

I think it's just processing the day, and really its normal. Just a different personality type. We had tons of issues with OT and night terrors and that lasted until she was 5/6 but they have gone now.

Sometimes you find a reason but often not. The more they become a fully active child the more you can simply support but not fix.

[Katet]

It's only like a 15 min show and it's really just part of the "routine".

My children never really seemed to have a problem sleeping after TV, but  I know my nephew did & my sister said that 15mins was worse than an hour, it seemed to be if he watched much longer he settled but if it was a quick show he took ages to unwind, she said it was like the TV slowed down his body, but hyped up his brain, & he'd be kicking around in the bed & chatting for ages. He now as a 13yo reads for at least 1 hour before he goes to sleep. So it may only be a short show, but it could still hype up his brain none the less.

[greenlady]

With DS I think it is just a developmental stage. He processes all he has done in the day and wants to go over it in his brain.  I hear him chatting to himself and having conversations pretending to be at school.  So, I think it will pass and the trick is just getting him to accept that he stays in bed.  A slightly later bedtime (as a treat for being a good boy and not calling out for us), and lots of outside play after school seem to be working so far...but who knows it will probably change next week. ;>)

[Chloevalentine]

Thanks everyone. Going to continue with our routine and leave some extra time for his reading. And hope it passes what's an average bedtime or amount of sleep for a 4 year old?

[Chloevalentine]

Another almost 9 pm before falling asleep and getting out of bed a bunch of times ugh! Nothing is working g.