S 17.25 - 02.02
This is a great stretch! This is a solid stretch of almost as much sleep as she was having in 24hr when you first posted.
E 04.16 - 04.35 Tried to get back to sleep after E but she got hiccups after winding. Put her down at 5.15, she woke smiling, down again at 5.30, she woke smiling so left her to play in her basket. A 1hr 40 S 06.25 - 07.55
This here I'd still call night with extended happy wakings rather than saying she got up for the day at 4:35 and had a 1:40 A time given that you about an hour trying to get her back to sleep.
S 12.35 - 13.21 couldn't extend.
This here is a 45min nap - classically UT or 4 month old cannot transition from cycle to next.
A 1hr 40 S 09.35 - 10.00 (first WD 7mins) tried 3 times to put her down but she woke each time so let her sleep on my shoulder. S 10.20 - 10.55
This I think might be UT too.
A 1hr 30 S 14.49 - 16.20 started WD at 1hr 20 because she was really cranky and kept rubbing her nose and eyes. I know this is a short A time and you said in one of your earlier posts not to go for short A times as I'll just get UT naps but I wasn't sure how to extend? She didn't wake happy, but I couldn't get her back to sleep.
Its ok to reduce A times a bit if she's had a short nap, just don't start the day off with a short A time because that perpetuates the problem. This looks like a 1.5hr nap to me. Babies will not always wake happy, even if their routine is perfect. That's not necessarily a good yardstick for deciding if the nap was good. My son screamed when he woke if things were different in his room (ie. if I had been there when he fell asleep, he wasn't happy if I wasn't there when he woke.)
BT 18.00E 18.30 - 18.45
What do you mean by BT here? BT to me is baby is being laid into bed for sleep having had pre-bed routine including feed.
I didn't want to try for another nap as it would get too close to BT. What should I have done?
I think that's reasonable. I think I'd have aimed to have her in bed asleep for the night at 6:30pm or done a catnap for say 30-45min at 6pm then aimed for asleep in bed at 8pm.
I know I shouldn't be thinking about it but I'm sooo aware of the ticking clock, as in after 6months it'll be hard to change some of these bad habits.
You're not working from a completely awful place though, you've made a lot of progress and you can take the long view so I think you'll be ok. Its not actually necessarily all difficult at 6 month or after that. I got DS from sleeping with props to independent sleep in a couple of weeks at 5 months (didn't find this website til then and I was in all sorts of trouble) and it was fine. Try not to work yourself up too much about that.
I suggest a plan going forward that looks a bit like this:
1. Assume that WU is around 7-8am, yk, the end of what you're currently calling your first nap.
2. If she's happy in bed, leave her if its in the small hours of the morning. Its so frustrating for you and for her and actually counterproductive for you to be trying to get her to sleep at that hour. If she's upset, attend to her of course but if she's happily lying in bed gurgling at 5am, leave her to it.
3. From that 7-8am WU, do 2hr A time then offer a nap. Offer it however you need to, to get her to sleep but I suspect you'll have some luck with shush/pat or similar in a familiar sleeping place like wherever she falls asleep at night.
4. Reduce A times if necessary to no less than 1:30 but preferably 1:45 if she's had a short nap. If she then takes a long nap, do 2hr A time thereafter.